Getting DS ready for boarding school, what did you do?

[smilesandsun]

Hi,

I'm trying to prepare ds as best as possible for boarding school. Looking for any sweet ideas to make the transition less stressful.

I'm making a little photo book as a surprise. We're talking about it little and often in a very positive way (which it will be).

what else should I do?

Robot

Was the first post not a tongue in cheek retort to the nastier posts displayed on this thread? This is how I read this and other posts.
After all the OP had asked for info and support and got a barrage of put downs and stereotypical responses.

If there's not major repression (and post-hoc justification in order to avoid cognitive dissonance) behind your support of boarding, I don't know what the alternative explanation is....?

Cor blimey happy, 'major repression'! You are the indisputable Master, and I prostrate myself in awe of what you have achieved.

Amarantine et al where are you? You seemed so keen to join the debate earlier on

I think we're all still here quietly reading the thread which is riveting stuff, full of contradiction and intrigue.

I don't understand now, but HG is the business. for the support, advice, info and more lately the humour.
I couldn't have managed these last months without the much needed wisdom from HG and all the other experienced parents.

Actually quite curious Durham as to where you see intrigue.
Not a pointed post - just curious.

Other than that , I would like to thank Amarantine for sparking off (probably unwittingly) a bent to this thread which has given me a laugh today.

Indrid - it is a source of huge disappointment to me, and no doubt a sad reflection of his schooling that DS does not appreciate Molesworth in the way that I do. (chiz) .

Don't worry, he will one day. Perhaps it's because he is still only a tiny child.

The same place I found the contradiction, I just don't know why on this thread someone would insist one thing and then on another tell a completely different story. If we were having a frank open discussion re the pros and cons of boarding school ( I stated earlier I had no problem with it from ages 11/12 onwards but struggled to accept the fact that 7 year olds were sent away ) surely an honest consistent approach would have been beneficial?
My intrigue stems from why were the two posts from the same person so very different? At what purpose?

OK. Although I think I preferred it when we were just arsing about with funny pictures of matron.

I went to boarding school and a torch was invaluable.

My DD age 13 is about to start boarding school, and can't wait. She has been saying that she wishes she could be starting now, not in a few days' time. And thinking about all the opportunities she will have, those great activities, that aren't on offer at home, the chance to live with other teenagers, not having to commute to school, etc, etc, it sounds absolutely fantastic. She's not the homesick type, and I have no real worries about her, and certainly won't be bugging her with phone calls - it's time for her to stretch her wings!

There is certainly a big difference between starting at 7 and starting at 11 or 13. I have met young people who started boarding at 8 and were very happy with it, but it clearly depends on personality and the quality of the school and boarding staff, and how often the parents can visit, etc. For a gregarious and activity loving teenager I don't have any real worries.

Always - 7 seems too young to me too. Unless of course boarding school is a soution for difficult family circumstances...I think HG mentioned that her 7 year old was "begging" to go.. Chidren are different. My DS was not at all a baby at 7. I don't know though if I would be happy to send him boarding at that age.He started flexi-boarding at prep school from 8-9, 2 nights

a week usually as commute was tiring and that was what he wanted.
Having said that, my DS always had very busy timetable with music outsie school, so boarding evenings at school gave him social life with friends he wouldn't otherwise have had.
I think the debate on this thread started with unpleasant remarks about OP's 10 year old...

My aunt boarded from the age of 4!

My uncle also boarded at 4! Army family with postings to places deemed unhealthy for young children.

From what we know about happygardening and her family, one of her sons is coming to the end of his time at Winchester where he has had a great time and has been happy and settled. Clearly he also had an unhappy few years at a previous school, which he nonetheless refused to leave when that possibility was offered him. I don't think the fact that they had a bumpy patch, which they rode out, is contradictory, or that the two miserable years define the whole boarding experience, when the other 9 years have been good. I don't think that happy has ever claimed that boarding is perfect, but that for the right type of child it can be a brilliant experience.

Durham I am being dense but have n't sleuth read but just enjoyed yesterday's posts.

I could n't have sent my DCs before 10 but then there was no real reason to. Funnily enough the one who would have seemed a 'natural boarder' when young and I am sure would have been very happy is the one who decided not to board when given the choice later. However that was because of no perceived gains from moving to a boarding school.
My DS's prep school has quite a few Y4 boarders including a fair number of London escapees, usually from families of busy working parents. These parents often seem to fix on boarding at such a young age as a 'stress reliever' for their DCs in the London system including more time and opportunity for outdoor play.
There are the 'Tigger' types who seem to revel in social boarding life and some independence even at that early age. The others appear happy except for the usual moments of unhappiness you would get during a primary school day after a tumble etc. However this group especially may well include some who are not really compensated for the lack of parental cuddles after school hours by the positives of boarding.

I'd just like to thank all those who provided their informed ideas on how to prepare their child for boarding. I got some great ideas and it was really helpful

I hope that everyone is prepared for the start of the academic year and their children are as excited as mine are. thanks

I was surprised to see the post started up again after such a long time ..... housepicture your response as to why those with no experience were replying to my original post I thought was fairly rude (I've copied it below)
Are you for real? You post a discussion thread that is on view to the whole world, but you only want nice comments that support your agenda - unfortunately it doesn't work like that, unless you start your own secret forum somewhere for pro-boarding invitation only.

I don't have an 'agenda" that is a fairly aggressive term, I wanted advise on how to help my child.

I want all comments good and bad, e.g. a photo book might not be a good idea as it might make them home sick.

It is an open board and I asked a specific question it had nothing to do with: who I am, how i feel about my choice or child, if I can afford the school, if local schools aren't good enough, or any other social aspect.

It would be great if people could stick to the topic and not feel the need to pick on others decisions, but I guess there will always be someone

My DS did have two unhappy years but it was not boarding per see that made him unhappy, a change of head brought about a change of ethos not necessarily wrong but one that was out of step with ours. His friend has exactly the same problem at the same prep, he moved to another boarding prep and was happy.
You do have to largely have a similar ethos/outlook on life if your at a boarding prep in general and in particular the head (boarding preps are likely to be small and therefore the heads ethos is far reaching) or with your HM at your chosen senior schools primarily up also with the school in general. We were very lucky the admissions process for Win Coll means chose our HM right at the beginning you even get a place, ours who we first met in 2007 (I wasn't so grey then) we felt then had a similar ethos on life and 8 years later it turns out we were right. Getting this right is more important in a boarding school than a day school.
Boarding is not for everyone I've never once said it is, there are unhappy children and I have advised parents to remove their unhappy children who don't settle but for many it is a positive life changing experience equipping you with essential life skills.

Smiles.. "It would be great if people could stick to the topic and not feel the need to pick on others decisions, but I guess there will always be someone

Away with the fairies again...because of course I was the only 'someone' who dared to post an opposing view. If I hadn't posted on this thread, it still would of gone roughly the same way.

"I want all comments good and bad"
No you don't, you want comments within your narrow spectrum that suits.

I don't think it is picking on others decisions. It is about alternative viewpoints - if the thread stayed one sided and sweet, it wouldn't be representative of UK parents in the main - If a parent is considering boarding school and unsure, and reading these boards to obtain advice, they need to see a range of opinions and experiences.

house pictures you are correct that discussions need different views but in this case some posters decided to follow their own agenda and discuss the pros and cons of boarding. A discussion on this is fine too but start another post don't add it onto a post asking for different advice.