Are private schools worth the fees you pay?

[lupo]

Hi

I was looking for some advice from those of you who send your kids to private school. I have one son and recently went to visit Staines Prep School and really fell in love with it.

The thing is we could just about afford the fees, but I will need to work more hours (full instead of part time)as well as few sacrifices along the way. not planning on having any more children, and would like to go private as classes seem smaller, and sounds like children get lots of help and support.

Just wanted to know of your experiences of independant schools and whether good ones are worth the money. Any advice much appreciated.

Like the school but am going on gut instinct, and it is one of the few we could just afford.

I've seen some stuff in my time on mn but xenia takes the biscuit. she has clearly has no idea what state schools are like. she thinks that state education is only for drug addled plebs who don't care enough about their kids to get them to school on time. and thinks that the kids that go there are destined for hollow lives and low earnings. she professes to like the idea of schools that treat kids as individuals yet wants her children to be educated with children who are all the same level (a. utterly impracticable. b. not exactly training for life is it?) both academically and physically. Xenia have you really got such little faith in your kids and your own parenting that you think they'll turn out so very bad if they mix with the rest of us. I'm so disgusted and appalled at your prejudices and ignorance I'm not even sure why I've wasted my time on this. rarely has anyone on mn got ny back up quite so succesfully.

I must say Xenia is doing better at putting mumsnetters off private school than any passionate 'anti' ever has over years and years of perennial debate on this issue!

How many people in the private system do you think share your views, Xenia?

Scummy, I'm being honest when I say 'None that I have ever met'

I find her views quite shocking.

I am currently considering private V state and would have to say that it is a closely run decision with many pros/cons for both sides.
Not such an easy decision as Xenia would make it appear, but she is entititled to her opinions.
For me , I think it will come down to which school gives me the 'right ' feeling.

I know, mb. I really do. I can't imagine you or people you choose to mix with EVER espousing such views.

But I'm interested in whether Xenia feels her views are common and would strike a chord with other parents she knows or whether she feels she's a one off.

Martianbishop, I really really hope my DD has teachers like you in years to come

Xenia, you can't measure success in life in financial terms, it is quite obviously so so much more than that.

I generally try hard to avoid adding to threads where people are putting the boot in to a particular poster, but I will make an honourable exception here.

Xenia, your posts on here mke me feel sick. And no, I don't need therapy. You really have some of the most unpleasant, arrogant, repulsive views I have come across on here, and I am so glad my chidlren aren't mixing with people who share your outlook on life.

agree utterly tamum

but I think the problem here, as with other threads over the last few weeks, is that the OP has asked a genuine question and has had her thread taken over by a raving lunatic

I know that this happens on mumsnet regularly but Xenia takes it to a new high, and I don't think it's fair on people who are genuinely trying to make important decisions

No, that's a very good point Cappuccino. It just polarises everything to such an extent that sensible points get lost.

Inveterate snobs aside, I work in law, which seems to attract more privately educated people. In my experience,privately educated people exude a confidence, often even when they are mistaken. I'm not sure whether it's a trait to be envied or despised. I have certainly seen it alienate a lot of people as that confidence can often make a person so thick-skinned and impervious to other lesser mortals that they don't much care. Ring a bell, Xenia?

Going back to the OP: some schools, in some areas, are both private and very good. And may be better than the state schools on offer.

But there are some damn fine state options out there. I do realise my delightful five year old would probably be, say, reading more fluently in a school with smaller classes and more of a single-minded focus on kids of her ability; but I'm not frightfully bothered, as she appears to be doing quite splendidly. And I really, really like the inclusive ethos of her school, which means there are kids with physical and learning disabilities around (as well as a cheering mix of ethnic origins). DD1 will do just fine academically - it's more important that she knows that the world's mixed.

I think if you can 'just about afford the fees' you need to think extremely carefully because it is not just about affording fees .. there's extra-curricular stuff too and expensive holidays that your child might feel 'missing out on'

I think state education .. good state education .. is the ideal for any child .. this is a social and a political viewpoint of mine (the world is just a great big onion hippyness)

However it is not so firm if good state education is not available then you HAVE to look to the private sector .. but I do worry about spoon-fed children with chips on their shoulders and superiority complexes

I think if considering private educaiton you should try not to do so before secondary level anyway

oh and I think Xenia is a twonk

so are we all suffereing from Xeniaphobia???

nice one mb - glad to see your classical education hasn't been wasted

at mb

well doesn't

but thinks it harshly at MB

and all that education from a god awful (and it was godawful, if fun) comprehensive!

Am I the only one who has been thinking that all afternoon ? I think not!

Bet it gets deleted!

OMG how far up her own arse is Xenia.

What a shame she doesn't live in the REAL WORLD!

now I'm wondering which bright, funny, sparky mners were private school educated and which were state thread here

I'm a primary teacher (in state sector) and when I did my training I taught in a class with a very disruptive, agressive child. He stabbed another child in the ear with a pencil, constantly punched/pushed other children and bit me hard enough to leave bruises through my clothing. Although I have no issue with 'disabled' to quote Xenia children, being in school and in fact as
someone else said I feel it enriches the school environment to have a wide variety of children, teaching all the children understanding of the varying needs of others from the outset. I do have issue with the amount of time I and the teacher I was with had to spend dealing with this child. He was unable to function appropriately within the classroom and although he had an adult to work with him this was not funded all the time. There is absolutely NO DOUBT in my mind that the education of the other children was suffering because of the inclusion of this boy in the class. The headteacher was completely ineffective and had no idea how to deal with this child, maybe in another (state)school this wouldn't have happened.

I also think that this would not have happened in most private infant schools (more funding for classroom assistants for a start - I know, I was one years ago, employed by parents to support the child, I worked with an autistic child who was expelled - aged 5yrs because the school couldn't 'cope' with him ). However I guess the other children in his class were getting the full attention of his teacher after he left

My children are going to our local village state school and then hopefully to grammar school, if they don't pass the 11+ though we will consider sending them private as our secondary state schools are utter cr*p.

I'm not sure what my point is, just some stuff I want to get off my chest.

ATM we can't afford private education for our dss but ds1 goes to an OK state primary where he seems to have settled in fairly well, but I have nothing to compare it with. I'm not sure I would send him to private school even if we could afford it at this age, although this might change by the time he goes to secondary. Also we are lucky that there are some OK schools round here - obviously if they were terrible we would have to re-think and move house.

I do feel though that sending him to a private school would insulate him slightly from society. As far as I can remember only a very tiny minority of kids are educated privately so that means that the vast majority of kids go to state schools.

Academically, at this age, I am sure he would do better at a private school, but I feel that I want him to be able to relate to all kinds of people - of all religious, racial and financial backgrounds. I'm not saying this isn't possible with some private schools but even the most inclusive and democratic private school has a financial bar which excludes certain people.

Luckily I am a SAHM so can put a lot of time and effort into supporting his education.

I think a good school can take children from very disadvantaged backgrounds and still cater for the higher achievers.

MI - I so agree with you on the point about dds "doing fine". taht's just how I feel about mine - I have faith and I have it in them and (most of the time) in me and dh. it's why I put the q to xenia re faith in her kids.

Yes. Admittedly it's easy for me to feel smug because (a) it's a school I like - and not the school to which DD1 was originally allotted, so my smugness in going for state is somewhat compromised (b) DD1 is only five, so academic excellence is not, to my mind, a top priority (c) DD1 is apparently doing well; but I do think it is a fundamental part of my children's education that they realise that physical and/or learning disability are non-negotiable parts of the world around them, in exactly the way that X has black skin or Aunty Y lives with another woman.

(and I do realise that comprehension of difference is something which plenty of privately educated children have, as well)