Are private schools worth the fees you pay?

[lupo]

Hi

I was looking for some advice from those of you who send your kids to private school. I have one son and recently went to visit Staines Prep School and really fell in love with it.

The thing is we could just about afford the fees, but I will need to work more hours (full instead of part time)as well as few sacrifices along the way. not planning on having any more children, and would like to go private as classes seem smaller, and sounds like children get lots of help and support.

Just wanted to know of your experiences of independant schools and whether good ones are worth the money. Any advice much appreciated.

Like the school but am going on gut instinct, and it is one of the few we could just afford.

Xenia ~ what a nasty spiteful piece of work you are! Your comments sicken me. The word that sums you up begins with B and ends in H.

Wow, never expected such a huge response to this post and many of the positives of private education have been highlighted to me. Have shown dh some of these posts and it has confirmed our decision to go down the private route.

This particular school seems to have lots of pupils who get into the grammer schools so hoping mine will have a good chance to do this, as secondary fees do seem even more expensive, but have another deade before need to worry about those.

Thanks again for all advice/comments.Right better start saving the pennies then!

hmmmm. agree on the compromise bit too MI - if dd hadn't got in where she did it would have been kingston's worst - which on paper is pretty bad. (Kingston schools quite imbalanced - most good, 2 - on sats alone - pretty terrible) so we would have been put to their test far more, iyswim, But we would at least have given it a go - especailaly as the head is a star and (as stressmum reminded me) their "value added" stuff is very good.

Message withdrawn

Ermm Xenia, rather than having people in the class doing different work being a problem, I think it's a sign that the teachers are setting appropriate work for the children.

So at my dd's private school, they were at great pains to explain that they did have the children working in smaller groups of matched abilities, I like this very much and I certainly don't think my daughter would be forging ahead if only she wasn't held back by her friends.

Of course, it is easier to monitor what each group are doing when there are smaller class sizes, but I would hope that the teacher setting appropriate work would not be restricted only to private schools.

In answer to OP, we like the smaller class sizes, the pastoral care, and the mix of people who go there -black, asian, chinese, white and the children of policemen, nurses, teachers, social workers, gym staff as well as the "more usual" doctors, lawyers and accountants. I must admit, if I had seen a private school which was all tea dresses and gorgeous, floaty, but vaccuous (Sp?) mummies, I'd have run a mile.

Through out my life I have met several Xenias, so yes they exist although they belong to another planet and are totally disconected with reality mostly because they don't have a lot of chances to be in contact with it. So we may well be her first incursion into the wide world.

If privately educated children are meant to have the "ability to talk to anyone at any level" why on Earth has she mannaged to annoy every single person here regardless of socio/economic/educational background?

I've spent the last couple of months making this decision for my ds and the one school that stood head and shoulders above all the others was a private one. Had a local state primary been the best, my dh and I would have been delighted (the fees are going to be a struggle) but the most important thing is that our son will emerge as a happy, confident and motivated boy, not a sullen, lumpen pubescent who is already fed up with being taught!! And we are very happy that we've found the place to do that.
If anyone has a recipe book called "365 delicious ways with Value baked beans", I'd appreciate a look...

Would someone just quote one of my views accurately and then I'll justify it.

I said children of similar ability do better in classes with children who are the same. I'm sure most educational studies agree with that.

I said children with a disability which affects the work of the rest of the class - that that is not fair on the others in the class. I can't see why anyone would disagree with that either.

Amazing how people get annoyed by particular things. Are we not allowed to use the word disability? Are we not allowed to talk about the effect a child with a particular disability might have in a class just as equally a child who can't stop hitting others because his parents have brought him up so badly has a similar effect?

I can understand socialists not being in favour of selective education and liking to pretend everyone is equal so their own children are brought down to a level of mediocrity but I don't think I said anything offensive.

Xenia:3.34:50

"What I meant was children who can't do the same work. I don't think it's as easy to study and forge ahead if you have pupils in the class doing different work so I exercise my choice to avoid it, a choice parents who earn less can't exercise."

No, I don't think I did misquote. But hey, life's too short and all that, so I'm parping on this going forward. That's parping - not flouncing!!

ha ha at "socialists like to pretend everyone is equal so their own children are brought down to a level of mediocrity" but "I don't think I said anything offensive."

I just wondered which of my views were most offensive so we could look at why.

"Socialists like to pretend everyone is equal so their own children are brought down to a level of mediocrity".
So someone say why it benefits clever children that their teacher is distracted by less clever and disruptive ones such that they sail along bored or just keeping up when they could be doing so much better and fully stretched. It's just the selective v mixed ability argument. Not something offensive or which only I have mentioned.

Also using the word "disabled" should surely not offend people. The question of integration depends on the disability and there are people pro and against it. Again it's a good topic for debate. It is certainly not a topic people should shy from debating.

The most fun topic is - I will send my children to the worst comprehensive in the area (people have) because I want to be committed to the area and unless parents like me do that then the state schools will be divided (as they often are) by house price etc. That's a big sacrifice for a parent to make on behalf of their child. Would anyone choose a school with a lot of disruptive children in it over one without them on principle then?

oh xenia is ont his thread

itll b e griping then

Selecting a school for your child private/state is very much an english thing. In Scotland the majority of children go to the school that is nearest to their homes/catchmentare.

My ds is at a state school that has a very small intake. 18 primary1's started this year and its the closest school to our home, however does not have the best stats in league table. my ds is confident, well spoken, very polite and adapting well to school life.

IMHO Its parents that make children have manners and respect not the choice of school.

If you can't see that saying socialists want mediocrity for their children is offensive (and ludicrous) then I don't think much of your education.

Also there is such a thing as differentiation of school work depending on ability. It can work very well.

Peridot30, I take it you don't live in Edinburgh then

There are more private schools per head of population in Edinburgh than anywhere else in the UK....or so I have been told.

jeepers Tamum, we are clones!

no

Spooky, eh

Private school in St Andrews, a few in Dundee and at least one in Perth.

ROFL at the comment that the private sector has better mums to mix with Didnt realise I wasnt worth mixing with if my children do not go to private school!

And I purposely chose the school (state) that my los went to because they have a speech therapy unit and a special needs unit. My children are not special needs and have no learning difficulties whatsoever. I felt it was good for them to mix with others that were 'different' from them, to learn about helping others and getting along with people that did not think or act the same as them.

mine dont need to
they can hack it with the proles

"Socialists like to pretend everyone is equal so their own children are brought down to a level of mediocrity".

no-one is making an argument that everyone should be treated the same. The only person who has this concept of 'same' is you. All children learn at different rates, even the clever and rich ones. They are children, not clones. All children in private school do not have perfectly matching IQs.

and it's not that we can't talk about disability, it's that you're talking absolute bigoted rubbish about disability. I'm happy to talk about disability but not with someone so utterly prejudiced about it.

For example, clearly when you use the term 'disabled' you obviously mean 'disruptive' and 'autistic' - you may be surprised to know that these words are not interchangeable

Xenia, I don't know about you but as time goes by I find myself forming pictures of what other mnetters look like.

I picture you in an extravagant wig, plumes and maybe a small flotilla... indeed a look particularly favoured by the wife of the not so late Louis XVI.