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Original poster

Are private schools worth the fees you pay?

424 replies

lupo · 11/11/2006 20:32

Hi

I was looking for some advice from those of you who send your kids to private school. I have one son and recently went to visit Staines Prep School and really fell in love with it.

The thing is we could just about afford the fees, but I will need to work more hours (full instead of part time)as well as few sacrifices along the way. not planning on having any more children, and would like to go private as classes seem smaller, and sounds like children get lots of help and support.

Just wanted to know of your experiences of independant schools and whether good ones are worth the money. Any advice much appreciated.

Like the school but am going on gut instinct, and it is one of the few we could just afford.

OP posts:
geekgrrl · 15/11/2006 09:53

ahem, xenia - I think you will find that children in state schools do get homework, too. My dd1 is in Y3 and has a weekly spelling test as well as a bit of maths homework, and of course her reading book (although she'd never consider reading to be 'work'). The school my children are at is small (90 children) but there is a very good variety of music tuition available.

You really come across as not having a clue about state schooling...

frances5 · 15/11/2006 09:54

I believe it takes quite a lot to expel a kid from a state school where as a private school can kick a kid who is trying their best but getting low marks for home work.

LadyMuck · 15/11/2006 10:06

In fairness to Xenia it was miljee who seemed to view that homework was ott?

And the point in wanting our children to have a good education (wherever that might be) is to open up opportunities to them. Of course they may not wish to take well-paid jobs, but that is not the point. A good education is a facilitator to more options is later life. Equally certain personal traits open more doors than others, and of course there is always the fact that connections open up more opportunities.

I do love all the references to bog standard comprehensive schools. I'm in an area (in Greater London) with 8 or 9 comprehensives. I wonder which of them would be classed as bog-standard as they all seem quite different to me: soem i could see my children in, others I would home ed first (and that is not something I would do lightly!). Unless I missed in in the tours none of the local state primary schools offer the range of music lessons available to Fortyplus.

geekgrrl · 15/11/2006 10:22

LadyMuck, they probably do but didn't mention it - the music provision in a lot of state primary schools is peripatetic and organised by the council rather than the school - the school just provides the space.

LadyMuck · 15/11/2006 10:35

We asked (as it is important to us). And the Council music service has been cut severely . So presumably affects all/most 65 primary schools in the borough. Most schools could offer 2 or 3 intruments.

fortyplus · 15/11/2006 10:37

frances5 - excellent post. One of my friends is a MFL teacher and her husband is head of MFL at the same school. You'll be pleased to hear that he takes the lower sets - leaving his less experienced colleagues to take the top sets. His view is that it's the less able children who need the experienced staff.
And yes re: expelling children - my bro & sil moved to St Albans a few years ago - no space in decent local primaries so sent my niece to St Albans High School for Girls. At the end of that year (she was in yr5) they were politely informed that she would not reach the academic standard required to be offered a place in the senior school, so they would be better off to remove her immediately.
That's how the 'academic' private schools keep up their league table placings. STUFF the kids.

GoingQuietlyMad · 15/11/2006 10:39

Xenia's views may be repugnant to most, but they are reasonably widely held in a lot of sections of society. Very few people have the courage to actually say these things, but many more make their decisions on that sort of basis.

Equally, I have never seen anyone post blatantly racist views on this site, but I am appalled by the number of people in RL who feel quite able to say the most outrageously racist things.

There is a politically correct orthodoxy on MN, which is nice because saying something hasty can be very disturbing for someone else to read if they are affected by the issue personally.

However, I for one am happy to read Xenia's views, even though I find some of them incredibly offensive. I would rather know what I am up against than be in blissful ignorance.

fortyplus · 15/11/2006 10:40

LadyMuck - that's really sad. We live in Hertfordshire - Herts CC have been really pushing music for several years now, recognising its importance as part of a child's personal development. At my sons' school around a third of the pupils learn an instrument - this was one of the factors that attracted me to the school, even though I'm so un-musical that I can only just about play a CD.

LadyMuck · 15/11/2006 10:45

I think that the "bog standard" outside of London is very different to the "bog standard" in London. But in the schools that I have seen there is really such a range and variety I'm not sure where "bog standard" would be?

fortyplus · 15/11/2006 10:45

GoingQuietlyMad - absolutely. I have an acquaintance (don't know if I spelled that right even tho I went to posh private school!) who is striving to be a Tory MP, she's a property developer, flat in Belgravia etc who is APPALLED that I'm not sending my children privately. 'I mean, DAAAHHHLING, how will they EVER make the right social contacts?' Her children are weirdos, mine are pretty normal and well adjusted. What more do I need to say?!

fortyplus · 15/11/2006 10:47

LadyMuck - you're dead right there. Despite my high ideals I WOULD NOT send my kids to a cr*p school - I'd rather home educate or go private. But of course if everyone who can afford to do that does so, how will those schools ever improve?

frances5 · 15/11/2006 13:36

fortyplus ,Hertfordshire has some brilliant schools. I live in Hemel which is not too far from St Albans.

Doing half a PGCE in secondary science has taught me a lot about the schools in my local area even though I never completed it. In St Albans your neice has the choice of schools like St Albans School for Girls, Loretto (a RC school) and the other schools in St Albans are reasonably good as well. I think it is terrible kicked her out at the end of year 5, she should have been allowed to stay until the end of year 6. Most private schools in our area dont do SATs so I cant see what their problem was.

donnie · 15/11/2006 13:46

"pretty dresses and high heels at social events"

pass the bucket someone!

Pollyanna · 15/11/2006 13:50

Xenia's views are typical of alot of parents in wealthier bits of North London. This is why I moved away from there - most people where I lived didn't even know the state schools existed. One said to me (about a very highly regarded state primary) "no one sends their children there". Well she was wrong, people fought to send their children there.

saadia · 15/11/2006 14:09

I think GoingQuietlyMad is quite right to say that whatever Xenia's views might be, it is better to know how people are really thinking. I'm sure there are a lot of people with those views.

donnie · 15/11/2006 14:10

"I've had lunch with someone agonising over Eton..."

what kind of sad name dropper are you xenia? your posts are a load of childish misinformed crap!

" you don't want idiots thinking they 're brilliant..."

( what, a bit like you you mean? )

as for your remarks about disabled children and the like - looks like your private education has turned you into an offensive dimwit. Trip, trap, trip, trap....

frogs · 15/11/2006 14:15

Donnie, was it you steered me away from L school (incredibly pushy grammar) in N. London?

If so, thanks -- your opinions were borne out by my flying visit there. Blimey, what a bunfight those prospective parents' open evenings were.

Dd1 now happily ensconced at a less selective girls' catholic grammar school which manages to combine having high standards with being amazingly friendly and supportive.

donnie · 15/11/2006 14:20

I'm glad frogs - I was trying to remember who it was I had that cyber chat with! apparently the new(ish) head there is really loathed by all the staff, so my spies tell me!

glad your dd is happy now. Would be interested to know which school - is it in N Finchley? if so it's a fab school!

frogs · 15/11/2006 14:26

Yes, North Finchley. The one with the purple uniform. Can't miss it really.

She was offered schols to City of London and Channing, but there was no contest, despite the lack of glitzy facilities.

expatinscotland · 15/11/2006 14:49

Plenty of models who can wear pretty dresses and high heels (and get paid big bucks for doing so) who went to state schools.

Some of whom are very savvy businesswomen who went on to parlay their careers into millions.

Cindy Crawford, for example.

swifts · 15/11/2006 14:50

frogs, you're privileged to have the Catholic option (funded by the taxpayer) which allowed you to reject the pushy grammar and turn down the schols to the private schools. Some of us in N London have to join the bunfight, accept the ups and downs of the local comp or stump up the money somehow. But that's a whole different thread....

frogs · 15/11/2006 14:52

Me, I am a taxpayer too, swifts...

swifts · 15/11/2006 14:58

I know, but so am I and my dc can't apply to your school!

frogs · 15/11/2006 15:08

Well I think Hasmonean and JFS look like pretty good schools, but I'm not losing any sleep over the fact that my dc wouldn't get in. Apart from anything else, I wouldn't want my children being taught a religion that we don't believe in. Nor am I losing any sleep over the existence of QE boys, which my dd's can't go to and my ds wouldn't pass the exam for. All of which my taxes pay for.

swifts · 15/11/2006 15:21

Hey, definitely don't want to make it seem as if I'm in anyway attacking you personally... (Why are people so spikey on this site ) Just pointing out that if you are religious you have a much wider choice of schools than those who aren't. Is this a fair situation? I have several Catholic (and Jewish) friends who have so many more options than we do. You may not lose sleep over this as you have the greater choice, but I do. Don't want to hijack the thread though...