Very Pushy Parents

[pinklink]

My other half is a teacher, a good one too. He is always marking planning and works late doing after school additional lessons. Since leaving the local comprehensive he joined a private school in September. He has been told on a few occasions by parents that they "pay his salary". His view is that he would rather go back to the comp and deal with difficult children who can change, but are initially the way they are due to challenging home environments. He said nothing can be done to solve the problem of difficult parents. He has had parents scream at him because their dc was moved down one set. His words were "they do more damage by pushing us constantly, it's tiring, degrading and when that happens I feel worthless. I struggle to put together a decent lesson after things like this happen."

He also felt that parents in the comp respected teachers but in the private school they see it as customer service where they buy the product.

I have a dd who I put through a private school, I let the school make the decisions with what group she would be in, I never interfered.

I struggle to empathasise with those, who I am sure are on here too, think they know their child's ability in the subject better than the professionals.

My other half is now thinking of resigning, but feels guilty knowing the school as do many other schools, struggle to find maths teachers.

Leave the teachers alone folks. Let them do what they need to.

And they are paying his wages. Schools may have gyms that people can join and facilities they hire out during the holidays but the vast majority of their income in generated from fees. It's this income that pays the wage bill

"Value adds is also such a crude tool it only measures academic improvement it doesn't tell you that your previously unmusical child has developed a passion for opera or fallen in love with Byzantine art neither does it measure unexpected sporting successes."

Of course. Which is why I say the ONLY reason to attend any of our local privartes is for those serious about rugby or cricket, because they genuinely produce children who excel in those areas, without the hassle of parents having to transport their children to local out of school clubs.

I suppose what I'm saying is that it is absolutely fine to say 'I choose school A because it produces similar results to school B, and ALSO provides great music / sport / drama', and it is also OK to say 'I choose school A because, although its academic results are mediocre compared with school B, it has a real strength in an area my child is passionate about'. But it is not OK o say, as a poster did upthread 'I choose school A because it is private, and I am amazed that anyone can seriously think state schools are better or provide better teaching, despite the fact that state school B has better academic results with a much more mixed intake'.

teacher your last comment demonstrates how diverse independent schools are I doubt few if any only attend my DS's because they are "serious" about sport of any description.

And completely ignoring those of us who choose independent not because of the 'results' which the DC could get anywhere, but because the DC are stretched and enthused and encouraged to look beyond the syllabus, not just there to collect 'results'. And those of us who are teachers and thus very well informed about local schools relative provision and standard of teaching, because we have worked in them.

MsHerodotus,

I choose a state comp for EXACTLY the same reasons as you choose your independent, in fact. It just goes to show how it has to be a school by school comparison. Locally, private = dull trudge through syllabus, coached to the test. State = lots of stretching and enthusing and encouragement. And I klnow these thigs for exactly the same reason as you do - that same 'inside track' view.

I am not saying, by the way, that state is always better than private, any more than i am saying that private is always better than state. There are some private schools - Happy's DS is at one - which are on a different plane to what could ever be on offer at a state school (I happen to know a number of its ex-pupils, all scholars).

I am only saying that every comparison has to be on a local, case by case comparison, and must take the needs of a particular child into account. For some children, a local Special School might be the perfect environment. For others, a local comp. For others, a particular local private school, and for others, a prestigious super-selective private boarding school. In some places, the best choice for an able pupil is a state school, in others, it is a private school. Equally there are both private and state schools I would not dream of sendiong a sensitive child to, and both private and state schools i would avoid sending a bright and self-confident child to. We each choose our own 'measure' of 'good' in a school - extra curricular opportunities, wrap around care, results, progress, nice fellow pupils - because we each have different priorities and needs.

There are, also, good and bad teachers in each sector, and withn that, teachers who are good and bad for specific children or classes.

I just get irritated by lazy generalisations like'all private schools have better teachers'.

We tried to limit our choice to school in the top 10 - 20 in the UK by A level results, single sex and with good music and sport and day schools near us and in the private sector. That worked pretty well as we were lucky enough to have children who got into those schools. Other areas of the country would be different - eg there are no state schools anywhere close to my brother's old school (private) in the NE in terms of just about everything except the chance to mix with the children of the very disadvantaged and I am happy to miss on that one..... Whereas here in London you can choose from the best state and private schools in the country. It just depends where you live. In some areas of the countries - usually not cities - there are very few women or men who earn a lot of money so not the critical mass or even number of people to pay private school fees so not as much competition. In London 1 in 5 children goes to a fee paying school.

*teacherwith2kids" the voice of sanity and reason.

Agree - perfectly put, teacherwith2kids.

Here's to raising a to the demise of lazy generalisations, prejudices and leaping to conclusions .

Raising my to teacher. Not for the first time

Well said.

And, interestingly, having looked at half a dozen indies and a couple of states for dd (currently in Y6 primary), her two hot favourites - and ours - are one of each sector. Very similar ethos, forward thinking, happy kids, SMT with feet firmly planted on the ground.

In this case (and not, by any means, all) the sector feels almost irrelevent. The state school has more space, they both have good facilities, there are more ipads in evidence at the indie. dd is utterly torn: how wonderfully lucky we are to have a choice.

from, not of - rushing!