Is anyone else waiting for 11+ results?

[rollonthesummer]

6 days to go and starting to get anxious...!

This is my third 'wait'.

I think the worst thing is that you begin to see the results of the 11+ as a judgement of your parenting. If your child passes, you can feel that it validates your parenting skills. This is, of course, bollocks - but it's fatally easy to feel this.

Kent here. Sat test 10 Sep, results next Weds. 5 looooong weeks.

OK I'll let you off Taffeta as we sat ours the day after.

jeee I don't feel like that but what I am feeling very strongly is the expectation of other parents on my son. Lots of parents speculating on who will pass and automatically saying 'oh well, we all know MiniJack' will pass' on the basis that he does OK in school. I find this horrendous. My concern is that if he doesn't pass it will get a lot more attention than his mates and make him feel worse. Does that make sense?

It does Jack. Unfortunately, other people do have views - I know that if dc3 doesn't get a grammar mark people will comment on it.

I also know that people do make judgements based on whether your children go to grammar school. When DC4 went to school her eldest sister had just sat her 11+. DC4 couldn't talk (she had a severe speech delay and a summer birthday), and many of the reception class parents were absolutely - and very visibly - gobsmacked when they found out her sister had passed the 11+.

Yes I can see that having older siblings already in grammar would make people even more likely to make those comments. Horrible that those parents have made that snap judgement on a Reception child too.

"My concern is that if he doesn't pass it will get a lot more attention than his mates and make him feel worse. Does that make sense?"

Yes, absolutely! We were treated as if there had been a death in the family as the news spread that MiniHak had failed! Lots of kindly head tilts, and "how are you?"s at the Sainsbury's checkout . Well, I now, but it was actually pretty grim at the time.

And even now we meet an acquaintance who assumes he's at the grammar school and blushes as if they have committed the most ghastly faux pas when they find out he isn't.

DS didn't sit for any entrance exams as he wanted the sport facilities of the local Comp. We get a lot of judgement from people who think we should have made him go to a grammar as he's brilliant at maths (studying level 8 in Y8). I stick by his decision, the comp is the right school for him.
DD is a different matter. She's a good all-rounder and has her heart set on Grammar school.Several people have said "well you've got nothing to worry about, Sparetime Jr is clever, she'll get in obviously."
Fine, but if she doesn't, how will she feel then? She sees the Comp as somewhere we'd make her go if she fails. It's an excellent school in its own right, but people's expectations have led her to believe otherwise.

Oh god, I won't be able to bear the pitying looks and comments. I may go into hibernation for a few weeks until it all dies down. Or just book us all a looong holiday somewhere hot and hide out by a pool instead.

It's the playground the following morning I am dreading.

Taffeta, SlightlyJadedJack, InMySpareTime Grammar school is not the only route to success. I think you will find that there are people who went to Grammar schools and are in Grammar schools now that are far from happy.

Mum trying, I know DD will thrive wherever she goes, but she's had so many messages from everywhere that she ought to go to Grammar that she'll be disappointed if she doesn't pass.
I went to a convent school,DH went private, DS is in a comp, as a family we model many different types of schooling. All of us have done well, wherever we were educated, and DD will get support from us wherever she goes to secondary.
Unfortunately we don't live in a bubble, DD will get all the "pitying head tilt" etc at school if she doesn't get the magic number. I won't as DD walks to school by herself.

InMySpareTime Mum trying, I know DD will thrive wherever she goes, but she's had so many messages from everywhere that she ought to go to Grammar that she'll be disappointed if she doesn't pass. I fully understand as I am getting exactly the same. My DSs tutor, parents at school and teachers are all saying that the boys grammar is perfect for my DS and suggesting that it is an easy in for him. It really doesn't help that the comments are being made in front of my DS. I just love the shocked looks of disbelief when i tell them it's not actually my first choice because I don't want single sex.

I have spoken to my son and told him that if he works hard enough it might be an option we can look at nearer the time. However, I have emphasised that I am not sure it will be the best school for him and given him some of the reasons why. Roll on next year and the delightful walk to the school gates after allocations.

Taffeta, I'm grateful that ours are given out on a Friday afternoon!

Mum, I am aware of both of those. My niece has just gone to Cambridge this month and has never set foot in a grammar school (nor a private school) and my nephew hated the grammar he was at.

Mum - I know, DH is from round these ere parts and failed the 11+. He earns quadruple what I ever did pre kids, and I had a good, well paid career.

But we have seen the schools. You know when you see a school that just is a perfect fit for your child? Somewhere where they will fit in, thrive but not be too pressured ( DS doesn't cope well with lots of pressure ), where their strengths are valued and celebrated, not seen as irrelevant. Somewhere where you look around, and all the boys are like your boy, and where the teachers are excited and engage your child, so that your child walks around smiling for hours?

We found that school. He needs to pass to get in.

The alternative if he doesn't isn't horrific. It's just so "not him", iykwim.

Taffeta found that school. He needs to pass to get in.

The alternative if he doesn't isn't horrific. It's just so "not him", iykwim.

I fully understand what you mean. Just remember it might all change when the teenage hormones kick in. and/or interests change. What fits him now may not fit him them.

I think it is really important to stay focused on the benefits of the second/third options. At a recent school open day my guide finally let slip that the school he was at was not his preferred choice and it was quite plain from what he said that he felt a failure. This was despite clutching all A*/As at GCSE and well on his way to a repeat performance in his A levels. I felt like pointing out that he had actually done better than he majority of children at his preferred school.

Also bear in mind that there maybe opportunities to move to your preferred school for 6th form.

"The alternative if he doesn't isn't horrific. It's just so "not him", iykwim."

We had the same. We had to find outside school stuff that was him. It's doable, I promise.

Well, our results are in and DD passed :)

Hope it was/is good news for everyone else who's waiting. Chewbecca?

Yay!We've got another week to go.

DS thought all was fine but didn't answer 3 maths questions having run out of time which is unusual so slightly worried on that score.

Wahey! Well done, rollonthesummer's DD! 5 more days of waiting for us now.... Good luck to all the DC.

Well done to your DD Rollon! That's great news keep your fingers crossed for those of us waiting for the end of this week....

Congrats to your DD rollon

DS also passed, got a really good score actually and he is v chuffed.

I know a lot of people now having a minor wobble that pass rates may have gone up this year, will the scores on the guidance sheet be similar this year? Have you experienced similar thoughts, are the scores you're hearing higher than normal?

I was fine till I read this thread. Kent here too - older 3 all went to grammar so no pressure for no.4! We haven't talked about it/analysed the papers or anything because there's absolutely nothing that can be done about it. I do find it a bit unnerving that the school have known the results for ages now.

Which school,primary or grammar?

Had no idea.

Waiting for Kent here.
Dd said that the test was ok ( including the maths) but she found the spatial reasoning a bit tough .
Have no idea how she has done tbh
many really bright children have failed before.

Congratulations Chewbacca, glad your DS did so well.
Gioingmad what do you mean the schools have had the results for ages???