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Original poster

Think Carefully Before Opting for Private Education

999 replies

PRMum2012 · 29/04/2013 23:50

i am a mum of two (23 months and 3 in august)I am self-employed, part time and married to a lovely architect. We have a great life and two happy kids.

On paper I would say I have not done too badly with my life and my aim is to work full time as soon as possible now my kids are a bit older. If the work was available I would happily work full time now.

Despite setting up my own business I can't help feeling like a failure that I can't afford for my own children, what my parents did for me.... It annoys me that I put so much importance on it ... I am now passionate about finding a decent local primary school for my children so they don't feel the same pressure i do now, when they are older and looking for schools for their kids ....but i'll be honest ......assuming i can afford it i would try and do it from 11 if i can....!!!!...

Hopefully by then, my kids will have an input too and they will be forming their own opinions on the issue.

Depending on mortgage and family support I can't see that it's possible for anyone with two kids earning under £80,000 - £1000,000 + (as a family income) to afford private education anymore, my advice is unless you have a thriving business or two, work as a dr, lawyer or banker.... Forget it.

It's really hard to watch my younger sibling do it for her kids, they are paying for private prep while we cant afford it.... But it really upsets me I feel like this... why can't I just be happy for them and quietly satisfied that I don't need to pay on top of my taxes for my kids education.

For my own primary education i went privately, tried the local school for secondary education but was bullied so moved back to the private system.... I had a mix of private and state during secondary - my second private school was amazing but the second state school I attended for 6th form (my choice) was great too so why is this all having such an impact on what I want for my own kids.

My DH is much more laid back, he went privately all the way through but doesn't place as much value on it as I do/did....I wish I felt the same way but all I feel now is pressure to earn more money so I can pay for them both from 11.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 30/04/2013 17:50

Yes, I live in South East London, not a posh bit of it; my house did not cost a million pounds (as if); my children go to a local state primary and a local comprehensive, both of which are extremely ethnically and socially diverse. But as I've said above, I'm quite sure a lot of you wouldn't choose DD1's school anyway.

Picturesinthefirelight · 30/04/2013 17:52

Our income is about £45k after tax. School fees for two children are just under £20k per year. That still leaves us £25k to live off. Our mortgage is around £5k per year.

I do have a safety net of approx £12k in ISAs saved pre children as I wanted a years worth of fees in case of illness//job loss etc.

Mintyy · 30/04/2013 18:00

Very ordinary districts of London have some very good schools.

I was talking to a secondary teacher at a party the other day. He has just moved from an inner London comp to a comp in Surrey which has just been put into special measures. He made the very good point that most London secondary schools are good or above which, given their intake, is remarkable.

bella65 · 30/04/2013 18:01

Your mortgage is very low then- that's under £450 a month- so your home must have been very cheap or you had a huge deposit.

Ours is over £1K a month, we are overpaying by £150 a month to clear it early but will still be early 60s by the time it's paid off.

handcream · 30/04/2013 18:03

We dont earn anything like £300k and send our children to private schools (one private prep and one senior boarding) Where are these figures coming from.... We have a house in the Home Counties and both work full time.

We could of course have paid off our mortgage as opposed to choosing to investing in our children's education. We go on nice hols and dont have expensive hobbies.

Mimadre · 30/04/2013 18:06

motherinferior it is all about parental choice isn't it? You are happy choosing those schools for your kids, others may not be and are allowed to spend their income as they see fit.

My point being that people choose the private route as, in the circumstances, they believe it is best for their kids. Others may even feel they are crazy to sacrifice their financial security for their kids in this way. I feel really happy that I am in a position to make this CHOICE.

In my end of London the houses within the catchment of the good state primaries are really close to the 1 million mark.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 30/04/2013 18:07

dogsandcats I think we are cross talking with MTS. She earns me and my DH combined at £80-100k. It would indeed be reasonable if I earn that much to send 2 children to private. Then I would still have DH salary as a safety cushion Hmm

MTSgroupie · 30/04/2013 18:15

dogs - believe me/don't believe. I'm not sufficiently interested in this thread to jump through hoops for you.

Mintyy · 30/04/2013 18:21

Mimadre
You wouldn't be trying to argue that private education is all about parental choice would you?

bella65 · 30/04/2013 18:24

*MrT8

Your figures don't add up.

Foolishly I forgot to include mortgage in my example.

So once gain.

£80K = £4400 net per month
School fees ( yours) £2300 per month

Balance for everything else:
£2100

Our mortgage:
Roughly £1000 month

Balance £1100

Council tax , ( around £150) insurances, ( ditto) fuel for 2 cars,(£125) food,(£500) clothes, gas/ electric,( £100) phone, ....

on £250 a week left after paying fees and mortgage. I don't think so.

Mimadre · 30/04/2013 18:29

Minty I was responding to motherinferior's post which stated that many would not choose the school her DD1's school.

There are many people on my income bracket who in the same circumstances would not choose to send their children to private school; so in that way it is a choice whether to go private or not.

myron · 30/04/2013 18:34

Day Prep school in my parts (outside London) starts at £12K and rising to £16K at 6th form. We don't think that we can manage 2 sets of school fees - not at £32K pa and more in the future unless we have some sort of windfall but you cannot anticipate a hefty bonus or inheritance can you? We do live in the country (due to proxmity to work) so are limited in choice of schooling (not great!). School fees are 'better value' in more urban areas where there is more competition! I grew up near a big city and passed CE to an extremely academic girls' day school where the fees are lower than £12K pa but delivers far superior exam results by quite some margin. Currently dithering...especially since we live in an area where the LEA is near the bottom of the national league which doesn't inspire confidence in the state system.

Picturesinthefirelight · 30/04/2013 18:40

Yes we have a small mortgage.

We bought our first house (2 bed terrace) for £20k and sold it for £36k several years later meaning we had a deposit of £15k to put down on our current house which was bought for £90k.

We currently have about £60k left on our mortgage (house now valued at around £135k

MTSgroupie · 30/04/2013 18:47

"on £250 a week left .. I don't think so"

Bella - are you seriously telling MNetters on benefits that you don't believe that someone can live on £250 a week?

Original poster
PRMum2012 · 30/04/2013 19:01

I dont have anything againt state primary schools in my area - we have some great options and I think my kids will be fine and probably flourish and end up more well rounded than their mother as a result :-) - I am just a bit nervous about secondary but that's a long way off so no point stressing about it now. I probably won't feel nervous when we get to that stage. I know from my own experience I learnt more and was more challenged in the private sector than in my state school - my kids future school may be ver different - who knows! - I did have some great teachers for English and maths in the state system but geography was a joke....

Btw - tufferic sorry for sticking you in with lawyers and bankers - your career is far more worthy and worth every penny in my opinion but I know a number of NHS gp's who privately educate their kids and why shouldn't they if they want to.

OP posts:
MTSgroupie · 30/04/2013 19:10

Bella - you got £500 down for food per month. Well, tonight's dinner was Hunter's Chicken with mash. The chicken was from a giant Costco value pack. The mash was made from potatoes from the market. I reckon dinner for the family came to about £8. Last night's was quorn spaghetti bolognese which cost about £7. We drink tap water (preferance as opposed to penny pinching) so no drinks bill. Without looking any further I can see that I spend about £2500 pa less on food than you.

mummytime · 30/04/2013 19:15

£90K! That wouldn't buy a studio flat here. School fees at present would be about £5500 per child too (cheapest would be about £4000 but you'd have to add on train fare). So two children at private school would be about £30,000 per year, without extras.

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes · 30/04/2013 19:21

There are lots of people who, once their children reach school age, suddenly feel the urge to up sticks and move South to North.

Private education is so much cheaper in the North.

MTSgroupie · 30/04/2013 19:23

... kids fees include extra curriculum stuff so no kids activities to pay for. My figure for fees include trips. DP and I travel on business so no holidays to pay for. Company pays for broadband and phone so no bills there. We get media content off the Internet for free so no Sky/DVD subscriptions for us. Gym membership? Got Wii Sports :) Free tennis court and basketball courts at local park. We live near countryside so lots of walks and cycling. Got relatives in Torquay so weekend breaks sorted etc etc etc.

People get so caught up in their own lives that they can't accept that just because they can't do or achieve or afford something then neither can someone else

mummytime · 30/04/2013 19:38

Nope MTS a lot of people on Mumsnet seem to think because they can afford something, others could (maybe with a bit of belt tightening).

Original poster
PRMum2012 · 30/04/2013 19:39

The figures £80 -£100 k were based on a combined income enjoying a good quality of life and not having to sell the car, down size etc etc.... The school I would use if I could afford it is £30k per year ( from 11) to send two kids. On top of that there is mortgage £12,000 per year, petrol, food, oil, car insurance etc etc.... Granted you could probably manage on £60k but as I am only part time an dh earnings are around £40k we are a long way off.

OP posts:
MTSgroupie · 30/04/2013 19:49

mummy - haven't you got it the wrong way round?

This and a few recent threads have asked the question - how it is that people can afford private? I'm telling people how we can afford it. I'm NOT telling Bella that she should reduce her food bill.

In fact I can't recall a thread where the subject was - why can't people afford to go private? So totally unfair comment.

mummytime · 30/04/2013 19:59

Well I was thinking of threads like this.

Actually I usually say, do what is best for your children and your circumstances. The best school may be private or could be state, I know plenty of people who mix and match sectors (and may even do a spot of HE), and even do different things for different children.

motherinferior · 30/04/2013 20:12

Actually, I meant a lot of people on this thread would think oh horror at the sight of DD1's school. It is an excellent school, but it is also a slightly scruffy comprehensive where the girls tend to wear their skirts up by their pants and full of, you know, kids whose families are Not Very Naice. You said 'do people on this thread who like state education live in London' and I said yes, I do. And yes, it is enormously ethnically and socially mixed. Sorry to defy your assumptions and all.

louisianablue2000 · 30/04/2013 20:14

DH was privately educated, I wasn't. I looked at the prices for our local (single sex) private school, it would cost £36k pa to educate our three children there (so not convinced by the 'north is cheaper' argument). I'm not quite sure how his parents managed to pay the fees for three children on a single lecturer's salary, presumably private education was a lot cheaper in the eighties, or academics were a lot better paid than they are now.

The only people I know who sre sending their child to private school have chosen to have an only child so they can afford it. It's not the choice I would make.