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Original poster

Those of you in favour of grammar schools, come and tell me what to say to my Ds...

999 replies

seeker · 19/08/2012 10:34

He woke up crying in the night because the reality had just hit him that he won't be going to school with his close friends in September because he failed the 11+ in September. "I can't be very bright, can I mum, or I would have passed" " no, it was just one of those things-you're going to a good school, you'll be fine" "I know- but if i was clever I'd be going to school with X and Y" "You are clever- look at your SATs-you'll be in the top set at the high school because of those" " it's not SATS that are important, though, it's the 11+"

Do you want to have more kids feeling like that? Then campaign for more grammar schools,

OP posts:
LadySybildeChocolate · 21/08/2012 14:51

Thank you, Nit. Smile There's shitty systems like this all over the UK, it's not going to change.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 21/08/2012 14:52

piano that's not the impression I've ever got from any of seekers posts before he didn't get in, no.

And imagining pegs seems a bit random and unfair, if not pointless, I think!

LittleFrieda · 21/08/2012 15:10

Seeker appears to accept the situation of this vile selection system, if it works to her offspring's advantage her older child but stamps her feet when the selection process doesn't favour her offspring.

It is hyprocritical.

I don't approve of state grammar schools if they aren't educating the brightest children across the social spectrum. But then again, I don't approve of faith schools and catchment areas which is all part of the same problem.

gelatinous · 21/08/2012 15:11

the peg comment is a bit cutting, but while seeker does think it's a good school, she's concerned that it isn't a good fit for her ds. If you turn that around and say its a good school for other peoples dc, then it does sound a bit uppity. Seeker didn't choose or want the system though.

LadySybildeChocolate · 21/08/2012 15:13

There's no need to play this system though, there are other options like home ed or private schools.

gelatinous · 21/08/2012 15:22

Home ed isn't a choice many people or their dc are happy to take especially at secondary level though, and seeker won't use private schools on political principle. It doesn't leave a lot of choice for her, but at least the school is a good one - many people are in a worse position.

LadySybildeChocolate · 21/08/2012 15:27

Sometimes you have to put your political principles to one side and do what's in the best interests of your child. Ds was allocated a place at a school which was aiming for 24% GCSE pass rate last year. Children told the Ofsted inspectors that they felt unsafe at the school, there's newspaper reports about a behavioral expert who was knocked out by a pupil. I didn't send him there. Seeker's ds's high school sounds lovely compared to this.

Original poster
seeker · 21/08/2012 15:31

" you clearly have problems with his allocated school."

No I don't. I have ( and have had since either if my children were of
Secondary age) problems with the system, which means it is impossible for my children to go to a comprehensive school.

Frieda- juvenile gibes about pegs on noses are inaccurate, boring and, actually, beneath contempt.

OP posts:
LadySybildeChocolate · 21/08/2012 15:34

But you live in an area which doesn't opt into the comprehensive school system though. I went to a comp, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

mam29 · 21/08/2012 15:37

when was the last time saw a mp put their socialist principles aside in name of childs education

abbot, harman, blair to name a few.

not looked up where the balls kids go.

huge fuss made over milliband brothers who went to a upmarket comp where wealth of postcode brought them good school.

If he truly is gifted and you feel a grammer or more academic/school is better environment im surprised you not considered scholarships and bursarys to private if you feel would be an advantage and he be happier.

flexybex · 21/08/2012 15:42

I think some of you have been very unfair to seeker today. On the one hand you've been saying that she is hypocritical for allowing her ds to take the 11+: on the other hand, you say that she shouldn't foist her opinions and prejudices on her ds.

And just to add to the earlier statistic. Our catchment grammar has 1.8% FSM, whilst the catchment SM has 26.7%.
If I moved down the road, the catchment grammar would have 0.7% FSM, and the SM 27.6%.

There's a pattern there somewhere.

mam29 · 21/08/2012 15:51

I guess I do think if hes very bright and in top set maybe he may get more attention especially if hes on giften and takented register plus he have added bonus of being brightest in year group.

I think education aside my sympathies are seekers son missing his freinds and feeling like hes failed and seeker worrying that school hes been given is not a great fit which only leaves 2other alternatives

home ed, private

possibly appeal but bit late now.

forehead · 21/08/2012 16:00

My dd is about to take the 11+. She is probably an average student.
I make no apologies for the fact that she has been heavily tutored(by a tutor and by my dh and i). The comps in the area in which i live are not very good. If my dd had been very able like Seeker's son, i would have no problem with my child going to the local comp as i believe a bright child will flourish in any school environment. However, i believe that my dd would flourish in an environment where she is motivated and where expectations are high. It is not that i think that the teaching is better in GS, but i do belive that the children in these schools are likely to do much better, because of parental input, attitude to learning etc.
The only other alternative is the Catholic school which is fantastic, but
we are not in the catchment area for the school.

LadySybildeChocolate · 21/08/2012 16:02

What would you do if she doesn't get a place, forehead?

MordionAgenos · 21/08/2012 16:03

@Mam to be fair, when the Milliband parents bought the family home, the part of London in which they lived was most decidedly not posh. It's posh now. But it wasn't posh back then (both my DH and I were born in that bit of North London too). It wasn't über posh when the Milliband brothers were at school either.

Greythorne · 21/08/2012 16:05

seeker
Why did your primary HT not appeal for your son?

Original poster
seeker · 21/08/2012 16:25

Greythirne- he did.

OP posts:
happygardening · 21/08/2012 16:43

"If he truly is gifted and you feel a grammer or more academic/school is better environment im surprised you not considered scholarships and bursarys to private if you feel would be an advantage and he be happier."
seeker has been an outspoken critic of those of us who choose to send our DC's to independent schools knowing believing that it is better. She has repeatedly voiced her disapproval of everything to do with independent schools going over the same tedious arguments even on threads where her opinion has not been sort. We can all be hypocrites when it comes to our children but I don't think seeker will take hypocrisy that far!

Original poster
seeker · 21/08/2012 16:48

", i would have no problem with my child going to the local comp"
I would have no problem with my
Children going to the local comprehensive either. Unfortunately there isn't one.

OP posts:
rabbitstew · 21/08/2012 16:50

Since the planning of school places is useless pretty much everywhere, but particularly in the most crowded parts of the country, and there are more children living in the country than the authorities expected, anyway, it's not surprising that schools designed for one type of child don't have room for all children of that type. In fact, part of the problem with grammar schools and secondary moderns and whatever the third type of school was originally supposed to be when they were first set up was that it was totally haphazard whether there were the "right number" of each type, anyway.

rabbitstew · 21/08/2012 16:56

I would have a problem with my children going to the local comprehensive if the local comprehensive were a badly run dump of a school with unmotivated, poor teachers and a serious discipline problem....

gelatinous · 21/08/2012 17:08

absolutely rabbit. Especially if a school has a higher percentage of high attainers than percentage achieving 5 A*-C that would be a huge red flag for me. Seekers never definitively said what she's do in those circumstances that I've seen.

LittleFrieda · 21/08/2012 17:15

It must happen pretty much all the time, that children expected to pass, don't, and vice versa?

My DS1 went to a secondary school with noone from his primary school and DS2 went on with 1 boy from primary. I don't remember it being a big deal, and they remain friends with some of them to this day (they are 20 and 16 now).

Yellowtip · 21/08/2012 17:40

flexybex are you referring to my comment about parents foisting prejudices then I'm confused as to how you think it refers to seeker. Perhaps you've just chosen to use the same phrase. I'm being studiously unseeker specific.

The Milibands went to a dump of a school with an appalling track record. You have to look at things contemporaneously: the reputation of schools can move sharply up and down in a three decade time frame.

bamboostalks · 21/08/2012 17:56

Jeez Seeker, stop with the old high school not comprehensive school rubbish. The local school takes in any applicant according to distance....comp by any other name. I do not know anyone who is still clinging like a limpet to that old secondary modern business as much as you are. It is totally disingenuous.