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Original poster

Woah! dd2 wasn't allowed a snack at nursery as she refused to say grace

151 replies

Vipenid · 09/03/2006 17:18

I can't believe I nodded sympathetically when they told me this today when I picked dd2 up. 'oh dear' I said 'sorry she's being such a pain'. It wasn't until I got in the car that I thought 'Hold on a minute...refusing to say grace for a SNACK at 3.5...is this really superbrat behaviour??'

OP posts:

DominiConnor · 09/03/2006 18:45

Indeed the child has been given a negative message about religion, hardly a bad thing is it ?

But it's not a religious thing per se, it's a defective teacher and/or school. If a teacher is prepared to be that cruel over a superstition, what else might they do ?
Given that they felt happy to tell you about this, presumably it is school policy. You happy about that ?
If it's not then she should be reported to her surperiors.

Kids metabolisms are a damn sight more rapid than adults, and this is very cruel, much more so than for you & I.

We've never not once denied food as punishment, though of course when they've not eaten we've made the point that they should have taken the opportunity when they get hungry.

FrannyandZooey · 09/03/2006 18:47

Yes sorry Mercy I didn't mean you, I meant Enid's dd.

Nightynight · 09/03/2006 19:25

a 3 year old has to say grace for a snack?

We said grace for school dinners, not for our breaktime crisps fgs!

dont think the school should withhold food as a punishment either.

tamum · 09/03/2006 19:26

Totally unacceptable, and unnecesarily harsh. Poor wee girl :(

SorenLorensen · 09/03/2006 19:27

Can you send her in with a Godless snack?

Enid · 09/03/2006 19:29

dh went to this particular prep school hence
"I wasn't made to say ing grace for my ing sticky willie at break time" (that's an iced bun btw)

He is cross they have to say grace for a snack at all and wants to ask them why on earth they have this policy. I said well they clearly do and I don't want to take her out. Then he said he thought it was disgusting that they withheld her food as a punishment and its a terrible message to give about religion and food. He said he doesn't care about the religion part but he certainly does about the food.

I will say something on Monday definitely.

getbakainyourjimjams · 09/03/2006 19:35

ds1 wasn't allowed pudding because he wouldn't use his knife and fork for chicken nuggests and chips aged 22 months. He couldn't use a knife and fork- still can't aged almost 7. I took him out.

I hate these silly pointless rules. I would maybe have a little chat with them about it, and perhaps tell your dd to make sure she says grace to keep everyone happy. It's a bit Victorian school maam isn't it.

Enid · 09/03/2006 19:36

I have told her she needs to do it

but I think it is ridiculous to put that kind of pressure on a 3 year old.

Especially as I had said only last week that I thought she was finding nursery very stressful atm and they seemed to listen very carefully.

SorenLorensen · 09/03/2006 19:42

I think the issue really isn't the God stuff. That's a bit of a red herring. It's a Church school and it's something they do. It could easily have been - dd2 wasn't allowed a snack at nursery as she refused to sit on her chair. I think for me the issue would be - is witholding a snack an appropriate punishment for a 3 and a half year old, and for me the answer would be no. That is what I would object to - the punishment, not the fact that the punishment was for that particular transgression.

And that's not because I believe kids should say grace for a snack - I think that's frankly ridiculous - but it is a rule at that school, it's their method of discipline I would object to.

Enid · 09/03/2006 19:44

yes thats how I feel soren

Angeliz · 09/03/2006 19:44

I think it's ridicuolous too Enid.
I am also with the others who say that denying food is wrong. I worked with very ver badly behaved kids and whatever they'd done, we were NOT allowed to deny food!

Enid · 09/03/2006 19:45

but this is the second thing that has really got to me

the first was that I forgot to bring her library book back on Monday so she wasnt allowed to get another one out

no wonder she is stressed

Angeliz · 09/03/2006 19:46

Poor child, i would definately have a word, as SL said, how do they deal with kids who are really badly behaved?? I dread to think!

SorenLorensen · 09/03/2006 19:47

And I have every sympathy with you saying 'oh dear...sorry she's being such a pain' That is exactly what I would have done and seen red later. And my dh would have reacted in the same way yours has too

But I don't like Aphex Twin so it's OK, I'm not your evil stalker.

Angeliz · 09/03/2006 19:47

can't she get into nursery at the village School?

Enid · 09/03/2006 19:47

I know

lol

"Well Enids dd2 is terribly badly behaved. She forgot her library book and refused to say grace (ONCE)"

SorenLorensen · 09/03/2006 19:47

They do sound hellish strict. They're only babies, FGS.

Blu · 09/03/2006 19:59

Pruni: "I don't know why you're so uptight about religious schools, they hardly pay any attention to religion at all usually and you're just getting your knickers in a twist about a non-issue."
But Pruni - ENID has never said anything like that, has she?

Enid · 09/03/2006 20:07

its not the religious part i am upset about blu

its the fact that dd2 was punished for a very minor misdemeanour by withholding her food

DominiConnor · 09/03/2006 20:37

I suppose we are confident here that it was just grace ? There is a difference between forgetting to say it, saying no, and saying XXXX-off you bitch.
Wonder why she said no ?

The most probable case is of course just the random wilfulness of any child, in which case we have a school that condones over reaction.
Although not a Christian myself, this is not Christianity as I was taught it. Faith is not a matter of compulsion, it certainly is not part of modern Christianity to starve people until they pray.
That's why I see the teacher/school as defective.
It's not Christianity it's exercising petty power in a cruel way.

But maybe does she feel that she doesn't believe in this stuff ?
Hard to work that one out, since how you phrase the question alters the reply. Indeed at some religious schools the teachers would address that with conversation not hunger.

getbakainyourjimjams · 09/03/2006 21:07

Isn't that the point though- they shouldn't mess around with food. Keep it out of punishments.

GDG · 09/03/2006 21:16

Evil teacher.

Witholding one of her '5 a day' is way out of order. Poor little chicken

Blu · 09/03/2006 21:18

yes, Enid, i know....

But I do wonder whether in their eyes a transgression involving grace would be seen as worse than another misdemeanor?

AngelaD · 09/03/2006 21:30

I would get straight on the phone to Ofstead that is appalling. How dare they.
And never say "sorry she's being a pain", you are her champion, the only person in the world that is a 110% on her side, please come through for her

galaxy · 09/03/2006 21:37

It's totally out of order. By all means give a punishment if they feel it necessary but not withold food

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