I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

I will bite too

1. single sex education which I prefer and my ds1 asked for
2. very short walking distance of my home
3. 3 hours PE per week
4. 6 hours gym, 2 hours swimming, 1 hours ballet, Spanish, music tuition and chess all done by school staff on school site with no other imput from me. So I collect at 5 or 6 each night and the dc have done all their activities. I can do things with ds2 instead.
5. smaller classes.
6. no g&t programme, sats stress, health related checks etc - no 'state' interference

Plus I loved them. I liked other schools but I liked these the best.

I agree with Jabed My DS has HFA. He has a massive IQ, but behaviour issues and a few other things. In a large school, his behaviour issues go unaddressed, while my attempts to help go unheeded. Because 'they' cannot go against the system even though everyone agrees it would be for the best.

I'm not saying you are paying for a 'better' education, but you are paying for an education YOU desire and YOU can decide against. That is not something that happens (IMO) in the state system.

We have two near us both have significantly worse results than our local comp.

I am not sure everyone is looking for examination results. I think some parents are looking for a good all round education in a safe environment which allows their DC's to thrive. I would also question the idea that any education ?for free" is actually better, since your definition of success in that seems driven only by exam results (and those are easily manipulated).

For these schools there only hope are children from abroad but these parents are also going to become increasingly more choosy and are not going to be happy to send Huang to some unknown out in the middle of no where but will be aiming them at the cream of independent schools instead

In many instances parents who send their DC's to school in England in the way you suggest do not do it for the Eton label. Some may. Those who do, send their DC's to Eton.

For the others who come to study abroad, often the profile is very different. Those in the small (out of the way) schools have often been sent here because their parents want them away - out of the way, where they may be proud of them.

There is room for all in this system.

There is an almost identical thread started yesterday (on the Primary thread) about private schools and why parents chose them. This seems to come up regularly, do we really need another one?

Well BeingFluffy, not all of us read primary. I don?t for a start. Surely anything on there is related to that age range anyway? Feel free not to contribute here if you think it is too much.

I hate the expression "X bashing"- generally it means "disagreeing with me". But I do find it baffling that people can never explain why they choose private education without bashing state in the process. All this "motivated children, enthusiastic teachers, interested parents, good discipline, good results" stuff. You can't say that without saying that those things are not available at state schools. And somebody a few posts ago said that anyone who cared about their children's education in their area woudn't use state schools. Implying that those that do use state schools don't care about their children. As if using private education was just a matter of caring enough. Rather than either no choice because the finance doesn't stack up or or no choice because pf political/philosophical objections. That is why state parents get defensive. And that is why I said earlier that the only really acceptable answer to the OP's question is "because I can afford it and because I want to"

I am pretty sure I don't bash state schools.

But it is incredibly hard to express a preference without someone assuming that you are implying criticism of the alternative.

I also think that there is no such thing as one type of state school or one type of private.

My answer is location and school specific.

I am paying (well, some of it as he is on scholarship) for much better education as this is exactly what he is getting. And this is what Iam paying for.

Not exam results, not anything else, he is learning more stuff in much more depth and breadth.

Jabed Im not necessarily defining success by exam results but many are. Parents have become results obsessed whipped up by governments and school as they are easily measurable signs of improvement/quality of teaching. I listen to parents say that such and such is a school is better because it is three places higher in the league tables than another. Utter rubbish!
In many instances parents who send their DC's to school in England in the way you suggest do not do it for the Eton label. the number of foreign children Asians Russians etc. applying to the likes of Eton is increasing year on year these parents want both this kind of quality of education and the name as well. Schools like Marlborough/Harrow are opening abroad to cater for the enormous increase in demand for places I suspect that many foreign parents are going to become much more choosy in future an English education will not be enough it has to be a first class English education. I also think many foreign parents see these schools as a stepping stone to university in the US and small independents in the back of the beyond are not going to provide that stepping stone.

I couldn't agree more seeker that there are "motivated children, enthusiastic teachers, interested parents, good discipline, good results" in the state sector but some of us want more than this.

In answer to the OP - "because the best (in our judgement) local school for our DC happened to be independent, and we can afford it" - no specific negatives against the local state options, this one just seemed like the best school for our DC when DS was 4, and it still does.

Happygardening. Most independent schools, not just the top names, are expanding their ACE depts. There is a massive market in SE Asia and Russia. Many smaller schools like those you described firstly are being kept afloat by an increasing overseas market right now and that will continue as more parents want to buy in and not all can afford the top schools.

I also think many foreign parents see these schools as a stepping stone to university in the US and small independents in the back of the beyond are not going to provide that stepping stone

I dont know how to word this. There is a growing market of foreign parents who see education in England as an end in itself for cultural reasons. To elaborate on that might be disrespectful. I have met a lot of children from this growing band in school.

In conversation with friends and colleagues who have gone down the independent route many have mentioned wanting a smaller school for their child, expressing concern that their child will be isolated in the town state comps which have 100's of students and fall prey to the bullies.

Many have also expressed a desire to have greater control over their child's education on the basis of 'He who pays the piper...'

Something I am not sure about is how often either of these two goals are really achieved.

As others have mentioned upstream, bullying can be an issue anywhere.

The 'He who pays the piper...' logic is flawed because of course everyone is paying so if there is a conflict with a single student then the school will always side with the majority. As an example, friends of ours were asked to remove their son from a selective school because he wasnt making the grade. It did not matter to the school that he was full fee paying. They had lots of them so could afford to lose the one who was going to drag down results.

Well we send ours to a '2 bit school' mainly because we can etc but actually because my eldest is an august boy and I really wanted a smaller class size for him and the option to hold him back a year if necessary.

Oh there's definitely bullying in private schools - of course there is - you get mean children everywhere and often its not nipped in the bud quickly enough.

And I don't think you get greater control either - many of the private schools are selective and if your child doesn't make the grade - they don't get in. Special needs provision is often very lacking too in my experience.

seeker I think perhaps I haven't explained myself very well. Of course, as all parents do, I hope that DD does well in her exams, and she is bright enough that I suspect she will naturally do well. However, I don't think that exam results should be the main focus or measurement of the education system.

Incidentally DD's Steiner school does have above average exam results and has a healthy percentage who head off to Oxbridge and other RG unis. What it doesn't do is judge pupils solely on their exam success, and if children aren't naturally academic they are diverted towards solutions that will see them do well in life. The love of learning is endemic in the school, not just amongst those who are academically gifted, but amongst all levels.

Perhaps we mix in different circles though, at least half of the financially and economically succesful people I know didn't do that well academically or never went to University. They are driven, intelligent, charismatic and amazing people and I consider myself privileged to know them. So if DD turns out not to be an academic whizz kid then I know that there are still options out there for her to have a great life.

So I guess what I am saying is that DD is going private because of the bits of the school that aren't about exam results, and I suspect that is why a lot of other parents choose private too.

Well I am not going to bash the entire state sector, but will cheerfully bash our local state school on here because we tried it for two years and felt sufficiently let down to move DD.

I have tied myself in knots in rl, trying to explain to other parents why she is moving without offending them or criticising the school, but on here I can be honest surely and admit that the private option was miles better in every possible area that mattered to us.

"I'm not saying you are paying for a 'better' education, but you are paying for an education YOU desire and YOU can decide against. That is not something that happens (IMO) in the state system."

Precisely.

I wanted a bilingual education for my children in the beginning - the private system allowed me to be able to purchase this. I am not unique, and the demand for this sort of education is increasing, as witnessed by the insane over subscription in these sorts of schools and the increasing number of them. The private system allows for flexibility in educational choices which does not exist in the state system.

I am a great believer in state education. However when there was an oportunity to send my DCs to independent with someone else paying the bill I had to think about this further.

The conclusion I came to was that I am a great believer in children being educated within their community. This isnt about keeping children 'in their place' but ensuring that they have friends to play with when they get home. Shared interests and experiences etc. Ensuring that they arent isolated within their community.

If everyone goes away to boarding school in your community then the child who doesnt may feel isolated.

If everyone goes to the local comp and one child doesnt, that child may feel isolated.

Of course these are broad generalisations!

"2 bit school"

The only way I read this is jealousy, otherwise you would not comment.

jabed many Asian parents in particular have an eye on US uni's having soaked up English culture/language at school!

You will find, worldgonecrazy, that DCs never get chance to demonstrate their love and enthusiasm for the subject unless they get the exam results to be considered for a place. You need both. I am trying to imagine why a DC would choose a subject for A'level , study enough to get a top result and want at least another 3 years studying it if they didn't have an enthusiasm and love for it.

I'm pretty sure Seeker isnt jealous Tango but she really really doesn't like private schools. I believe she may have mentioned it occasionally

Sorry - forgot to say I was replying to the earlier post about Oxbridge.

No one should ever feel they have to justify sending their DC to an independent school.

Unless they are all living of nothing but porridge.

I met a really lovely MNetter once, we all knew the others were MNetters, and the one who's DC was in an nonindependent school (rather than an Ofsted outstanding village school/Catholic school that only very special Catholics can get their DC into) felt the need to justify why she sent her DC to that school, which made me a bit

There are no independent schools near me I would want my DC to go to, even if I could afford it for 3 DC. Which makes me happy in a way, because if I could afford it, I would either have to move house, or put them in a crappy school school which isn't as good as their state school because I felt I should.

I do sometimes stress that if my DC went to an independent school they would get better exam results at A'level than they would at a state school. I go over, and over that one in my head. I, and my siblings got quite shit results at an independent school. (which got/gets decent results) I don't think we would have done any worse at a state school.

The worse case scenario for me would be if we could just afford independent schools and the DC came out with rubbish GCSE/A'level results. That would be a killer.

So from education system I expect decent exam results, based on the fact I am offering the system little people with decent ability.

So far the system and recognised my DCs strengths and weaknesses and are working on them (mostly) to my satisfaction.