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Original poster

I send my child to private school because....?

1000 replies

jabed · 26/07/2012 07:24

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

OP posts:
rabbitstew · 01/08/2012 21:23

jabed - have you considered moving country to get your child a more suitable education?

breadandbutterfly · 01/08/2012 21:52

Xenia - where do you find your links?! You know that was not a genuine clip, don't you? It's like quoting Ali G saying 'innit' and using that as 'evidence for how people from different cultures speak.

It reminds me of the time you quoted the Daily Mash as serious 'evidence' for some point you were making.

I'm beginning to think you actually have a v wicked sense of humour, and are actually a teenage boy in a bedroom somewhere - you're overplaying the insensitive rich women role, methinks...

Emphaticmaybe · 01/08/2012 22:00

ha ha breadandbutterfly - I so want that to be true about Xenia.

RindersGoesForGold · 01/08/2012 22:12

Bread, that's a documentary dontcha know, not a pretty close to the cuff 'comedy' based on perpetuating stereotypical myths.

Yellowtip · 01/08/2012 22:16

Xenia, I should think part of the reason that only two children had four english born grandparents was that hybrid vigour had eclipsed the indigenous competition for the much prized places at Habs.

jabed why do you say that your DW will of course have a much greater say in your DS's education? And btw, poor kid: what of a social life -his future on that front (with a governess) sounds utterly grim.

exoticfruits · 01/08/2012 22:20

I have family in Cornwall. Newquay is state schools, Rock is public schools - on the whole. They are equally areas to avoid after exams!
It isn't going to happen morethanpotatoprints because they are over school leaving age now. I would have to take it on their merits and a lot would depend on whether it suited them. As I said earlier, when we lived in 11+ area, I had almost chosen a private school for DS but then we moved to a comprehensive area. To answer your question, I would do what was best for my DCs. I wouldn't set out to buy privilege but I am not sending them to substandard schools!

seeker · 01/08/2012 22:27

TOSN- I noticed "I teach senior school" too- and was baffled.

That, coupled with the bizarre links from Xenia, makes me wonder- not for the first time, if we are in some alternative universe, where people like you, me and some others, who actually have values, cogent arguments, morals and a sense of social responsibility are actually unknowing participants in some sort of philosophical Hunger Games for the entertainment of the British Ruling Classes.

pianomama · 01/08/2012 22:35

breadandbutter - I was thinking the same :). Xenia, how about a summer school for MNetters on your island with seminars on girl power? Or we are beginnin to doubt you are real :)

exoticfruits · 01/08/2012 22:38

I think that it has improved in Rock because the locals rebelled and the police made it difficult but this report shows that private school DCs are not 'little angels'! news report

Mutteroo · 01/08/2012 23:06

Because DD was having a rotten time at her state secondary & we had exhausted all options. The only alternative state school was one we had already discounted & as it had the same awful HT we didn't see the point in reconsidering it. Private education was our only choice & an inheritance meant we could afford it.
DS attended a private school because we were uncomfortable with having one child in state & one in private.

Would make the same choices again.

morethanpotatoprints · 01/08/2012 23:17

Exotic. Thank you v. much. I asked you as I too had strong opinions about not paying for privilages and I still won't. I was hoping you would answer the way you did. I too agree about sub standard schools, although ds1 went to the worst school we could ever have imagined. He did really well as it challenged him to do well under nearly impossible circumstances. He was adamant he wanted to go there, I begged him to let me appeal. It was as bad as the worst described on this thread, but a superhead made a world of difference.

bisjolympics · 01/08/2012 23:38

The OP mentioned his dw was from Canada so maybe he is also from Canada, which may explain the senior school ref.

The school I chose for ds at 3 is not the right school for him now he is 8. The reason being he has developed in a way that I never envisaged, so he is moving to a more suitable school. It also made me realise that whatever secondary school I am currently contemplating won't necessarily be the right choice by the time he is 13.

It is very easy as a parent to think you have complete control of the life you and your dh/dw created but in reality those dcs very soon develop their own personalities and preferences and all you can do is guide them as best you can. Trying to control as rigidly as the OP will backfire in a major way eventually.

sicutlilium · 01/08/2012 23:38

Reverting to the original question: I send my children to private school because they have the opportunity to study Latin, Greek, German & Russian.

AngelEyes46 · 01/08/2012 23:44

And to have a contrast, I don't send my children to private schools as I want them to go to a faith school.

Original poster
jabed · 02/08/2012 06:52

I teach senior school

What a ghastly Americanism from one who is only prepared to invent definitions of words from use the OED! Goodness

I did not make any definition up. You did not find any alternative from the OED online because it is not online. I acknowledge my OED is dated 1966.

I work in a senior school. That is what it is called. In the private sector, especially older more established /traditional schools, the upper school is called "senior school". It is not an Americanism.

Please do not be ill mannered and ignorant. It is offensive.

OP posts:
Original poster
jabed · 02/08/2012 06:54

jabed - have you considered moving country to get your child a more suitable education?

Country? Or did you mean county?

OP posts:
Original poster
jabed · 02/08/2012 06:58

jabed why do you say that your DW will of course have a much greater say in your DS's education?

My DW is my wife and my DS's mother and she will make that decision. I will share the discussion but at the end of the day it will be her decision as DS's mother. Ladies always do. Its called Feminism. I am not a Patriach in my home.

OP posts:
seeker · 02/08/2012 06:58

Oh come on, jabed.w

"I teach Senior School" is not standard English usage. "I teach in a senior school" is what somebody as wedded to RP and proper English usage as you have been claiming to be might say.

I hate to nit pick, but you have consistently gone on about how important this sort of stuff is.

seeker · 02/08/2012 07:00

"My DW is my wife and my DS's mother and she will make that decision. I will share the discussion but at the end of the day it will be her decision as DS's mother. Ladies always do. Its called Feminism. I am not a Patriach in my home."

Right. Now I know you are taking the piss. What a shame. Why can't we have a proper discussion without all this extraneous crap.

Original poster
jabed · 02/08/2012 07:05

"I teach Senior School" is not standard English usage

I agree I did shorten it and it was not acceptable English grammar but that was not the criticism raised.

OP posts:
Original poster
jabed · 02/08/2012 07:07

I do not go on about grammar and spelling here. In fact quite the opposite usually.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 02/08/2012 07:08

He didn't grow up in Canada- maybe he lived there for a while which would explain the senior school ref.

I agree with you bisjolympics in that you have to wait and see what sort of school your DC needs. Many people decide at birth, or before, what they want and make the DC fit it e.g.it appears that they won't get into a selective school so they get a tutor rather than think that he/she would be much better off at a non selective school.

I also agree that having rigid control can backfire in a major way.

I don't want to be rude, I am hunting around for a polite way of saying it, but if OP's DC is an only DC (maybe I missed reference to more) with a much older father and a governess (if he goes down that route) does he not think that this is going to be a bit of a handicap in life? I am assuming that the end result is presumed to be university so how is he going to cope, suddenly let loose in the world for the first time, meeting all sorts with no parental control and no experience of life? ( other than has been filtered by his parents).

There are private faith schools, Angel.

Original poster
jabed · 02/08/2012 07:09

Seeker - my DW will have more say in the decision. End of. That is how she wants it and I am not going to argue with her. Now do you get it? You may not like that but it is the way it is. I am quite happy for that to be the case. I am happy if she is happy.

OP posts:
Original poster
jabed · 02/08/2012 07:16

I did not say we would have private tutors/ governess. I said it was a possibility that was being considered. All things are being considered, including sending DS to a small prep for Bretheren (as it is a good prep and its near). It does not mean it is a liklihood.

DS's future is not mapped in any wayat the moment. I have friends who do have their DC's lives mapped,although that may surprise you, including schools and univerity colleges.

Although I do have a philisophy on it. "Give me a boy until he is seven and I will show you the man" does have some creedence. Its an old Jesuit saying but it is remarkably true I think.

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 02/08/2012 07:18

Having watched the Granada programme 7 Up I don't agree with it at all.

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