I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

There are stories that I hear from friends who teach in private schools and I think 'thank goodness my child doesn't go there'!

What about the RP thing Jabed? All your friends speak RP, according to you. Doesn't sound terribly diverse to me. How will you ensure your DS doesn't mix with regional accents?

We cannot continue to HE exotic fruits. The needs of my DS will outstrip either my DW or my ability to provide at some point. I may be well educated but some things I would only be a generalist in. My DW has a board certificate for primary teaching ( Canada) so we could go until DS is 9 or so. The other option is something unheard of in this day and age - the equivalent of a governess
(or Private tutors, in the plural to pick up what we cannot). We have looked at that.

Wait until they get to teenage years and some parents have very funny values-especially if they have money. If you were down in Rock in Cornwall after exams you wouldn't gain a very good impression of DCs at public schools!!!

Jabed, genuine question- why do you feel the need to protect your child from the outside world so completely? You and I have very little in common, obviously, but I really really don't understand that.

How do you really know that all your pupils parents do share the same values?

We do more than just teach subjects you know. I have had many discussions with the pupils about various things, including values and attitudes. One of the surprising things (to them) is that whether from India or Asia or Russia or the East End of London, they all seem to be alike in their attitudes, values and quite often behaviour too. I guess that is called being m/c The RP tends to be more prevalent too. They call it "well spoken"

Maybe I should mention that too. I want to see my DS in a safe well disciplined learning environment (but I guess we all want that)

Seriously, jabed, do you think that it is really in your DCs best interests? I know that I am in trouble for 'wailing that failing the 11+ ruined my life' (to quote) but although the system annoys me, it actually probably did me a lot of good, it made me determined to succeed and I proved that I could do it. I have failed and know it is the start and not the end, I have got on with all sorts and would never go on face value. The worst you can do for a DC,IMO, is wrap them in cotton wool and try and control every aspect of their environment-they end up resenting it.

Jabed, genuine question- why do you feel the need to protect your child from the outside world so completely?

I dont. I think you are misinterpreting me.

How old are the DCs you are teaching jabed?

'One of the surprising things (to them) is that whether from India or Asia or Russia or the East End of London, they all seem to be alike in their attitudes, values and quite often behaviour too.'

jabed Have you read 'The Demon Headmaster'?

You're going to HE until he's 7 and then are considering a governess/ private tutor. How is he going to learn about the real world?

There are stories that I hear from friends who teach in private schools and I think 'thank goodness my child doesn't go there'!

I hear stories from my friends in state schools and think "Thank goodness my doesnt go there"

Lets not go there. Its a red herring.

It is very easy to think that you share values and attitudes in general terms. You may be surprised to find differences when you get down to specifics - eg homework/no homework being a classic.

I also don't get your keeness on RP. What is wrong with other accents? I'd much rather have a child who grows up with the values and dedication of someone like Bradley Wiggins than a child who just speaks RP, which is after all just another accent?

Exotic. Your comment about not buying privilages, is something I believe in too. I was just wondering what you would do if you were offered a subsidised place in a specialist, private school that ticked all your boxes.

I think you know we have just started HE, but one day I can see this being a realistic choice. What would you do?

Wait until they get to teenage years and some parents have very funny values-especially if they have money. If you were down in Rock in Cornwall after exams you wouldn't gain a very good impression of DCs at public schools!!!

Maybe I have some funny ideas too . That may also apply to you exotic fruits.
By the way I was in Rock/ Newquey last year. Many of the kids were state school . Media misrepresentation.

I teach senior school.

You're going to HE until he's 7 and then are considering a governess/ private tutor. How is he going to learn about the real world?

I said it was an option. Ideally I would like to find a school. It will not be a local state one as my choices there are limited to the school I removed DS from. Private schools are a possibility, as is the prep attached to the school where I work. Two or three are in the picture because they are the ones nearest. ( he would be a day pupil). Boarding is an option we have ruled out at prep/ primary.

But its not a made decision. we have put all options on the table. Governess is one of them (so that he gets a change from DW and has a broader experience)

I ruled out boarding at prep but that is exactly what ds will be doing from year 4. Sometimes you just don't know what opportunities arise.

Seriously, jabed, do you think that it is really in your DCs best interests?

Why does everyone want to parent my DS? Or tell me how to do it? I do not tell you how to parent yours. We all make what we consider the best decisions for our own DC's surely? I have said what I am considereing. Its my view (and my DW will have a much bigger say of course).

It is very easy to have an idealistic view of how you want your ds's education to be when they aren't in formal education and you can control what they do and whom they see 24 hours a day. Good luck in your search for the perfect school for your ds, although I doubt it exists.

I teach senior school

What a ghastly Americanism from one who is only prepared to invent definitions of words from use the OED! Goodness!

Oh and yes, you're absolutely right before you say it: that is me being annoying and pedantic because I don't want to engage with what youre saying. Because, to be truthful, what you're saying is so ludicrous and worrying at the same time that I don't really know where to start replying to it.

Children behave better in seclective private schools and state grammars for obvious reasons. It's not controversial to say so.

They certainly don't all speak "that posh" around here in the day selective academic private schools. In my daughter's class at Habs only 2 had 4 English born grandparents (he and one other) and plenty were speaking a second language at home which of course can be very useful to them but their spoken English sometimes is not as good as where both parents are English born and speak it properly. That can be why these clever children can get very good exam results but not do so well in interviews and in written tests for jobs and speaking assessments on interview days so it is worth concentrating on getting rid of speech which puts interviewers of.

"isn't it" all the time said by some ethnic groups is an example -

My ds's state grammar used to operate a 'swap' system of bad boys with the other local state grammar .
There were always a number of boys in ds's class who wanted their views to be heard (on any subject, all the time), and demanded a great deal of attention. Liking the sound of your own voice is a form of disruption if no-one else can get a word in edgeways.

bisjolympics.

I entirely agree. After having 2 ds educated at state schools, some bad, some good and not really having many options, not having to make decisions. I find myself in the position with dd where I do have choices and decisions to make, all my opinions are being reassessed and I am gaining new insights and keeping an open mind.