I send my child to private school because....?

[jabed]

Well, I don?t actually, I just work in one. But it seems to be a constant source of questioning on MN and given the current news articles (I have been reading the DM and Tory graph online) about how many of our left wing leaders hypocritically claim to be egalitarian and socialist whilst buying education for their children , or have had education paid for by their own parents. I just wondered, what is it we expect from education, and why is it some of us are willing to pay for whatever that is and how they see that as worthy of their money.

There you go. :)

I can't understand why anybody should be ashamed of a poor education. I think it better for people to know and try to understand why education has failed. Especially if that person has worked very hard to overcome barriers to learning

But they don?t - as you can see here if you look at the posters comments.
.
The idea of pretending to be something or somebody you are not is not a good message to send to your children and certainly not providing them with a good role model in this instance

That is below the belt. I do not pretend to be anything other than what I am. To my DS I am his father. He doesn?t need to know (I doubt he cares) about my past. What he needs in terms of a role model is what I am now and for me to be there when he needs me - and to come through for him. More important is what I do for him now. By taking care of today we take care of tomorrow.

Jabed you still managed to get to university at 18 though?

Yes, so that makes everything acceptable doesnt it? No need to change the system it works fine. Lets give everybody the chance to do what I did and since my experiences clearly did me good ( I went to university at 18 - and lets face it, not just any university).

But the system has changed!

@eotic John O'Farrell was totally disgusted with his local choice. So he did something about it. He sorted out the situation for everyone he didn't just buy some privilege for his own kids.

The system is totally different now Jabed and you know damn well that my point was that whilst your schooling obviously left a lot to be desired, it didn't prevent you from being able to move on at the same rate as your peers, and yes, I know that was because you worked your socks off etc etc. For the sake of comparison, my dad went to a SM and then had to go to work. He had a bereaved mother to support. By the time he went to university, he had a wife and two young children. So Jabed, I find it very difficult to accept that you had it quite as bad as you make out. Sure, school was crap for you, but it didn't prevent your progress in life. Which is why I find it distasteful that you claim to be traumatised by it (to the extent of 9/11 victims 50 years later)

You have no idea what it is like to be traumatised throughout your entire education. To dread going to school because you know the teachers will smack you, humiliate you in front of the class, to be called thick, stupid, dmb, mron, imil. For the kids to laugh, some to help and sympathise and then get in trouble themselves
To have hard wooden board rubbers thrown at you and to know that the next day it will all start again

Jabed how do you know that wouldn't have happened if you had gone to grammar school because I can tell you all that happened in my grammar in the 60s.

People can take their own choices in a democracy. Thankfully we are not a communist state with one type of school only.

Those paying on the thread seem very happy with the results and those in the state system are happy too so I do not see any problem at all and I am sure the state schools parents choose around here would not be one iota better if my children went there so the only result is that I and hundreds of thousands of other paying parents save the state a fortune. Win win all round.

and it's more like if my neighbour drove a ford but spent all his time saying vauxhalls were rubbish and basically the same as trabants, and only fords are good, and taking polls of all my other neighbours about why they also thought that fords were best
I couldn't agree more those of us who educate our children experience the same problem especially on MN! I think we both accept that there are some pretty ghastly state schools out there and ditto independent schools. Some people like me still chose to pay despite having an outstanding state school on my doorstep others do it because they feel they have no choice. Most parents do what they feel is right for their individual within their means of course. And we all want something different from education. Its inevitable if parents feel that state ed has let their DC's down and they have found that independent ed provided an outstanding ed for their children that they are going to post negative posting about their experiences and of course gross generalisations. I'm sure and i many feel let down by independent ed and post negative posting about their experiences. Human are so complex its not possible to have one size fits all in fact I saddened by how predictable and samish independent ed is in many schools.

"You have no idea what it is like to be traumatised throughout your entire education. To dread going to school because you know the teachers will smack you, humiliate you in front of the class, to be called thick, stupid, dmb, mron, imil. For the kids to laugh, some to help and sympathise and then get in trouble themselves
To have hard wooden board rubbers thrown at you and to know that the next day it will all start again
Ooh. Did someone else go to my db's private prep?"

The problem I have with the idea that everyone's alright, because they are happy, it's a win-win all round is that, quite clearly, an awful lot of people are NOT happy with what they have or what they have had.

You have no idea what it is like to be traumatised throughout your entire education. To dread going to school because you know the teachers will smack you, humiliate you in front of the class, to be called thick, stupid, dmb, mron, im*il. For the kids to laugh, some to help and sympathise and then get in trouble themselves
To have hard wooden board rubbers thrown at you and to know that the next day it will all start again

Jabed how do you know that wouldn't have happened if you had gone to grammar school because I can tell you all that happened in my grammar in the 60s

Then I am sorry for you too mrz. By the way, the above happened to morethanpotatoprints I just got beat up every day by my "chums" for being too clever. Of course it could happen in any school and it does. I believe the statistics say there are 80 cases of valence a day in state comprehensives. Those are just the ones reported. Smaller incidents are counted They system has not really changed.

Most parents where I work (private school) cite such violence as a reason for moving their DC to our school. So, there must be some difference. But because it happens ecerywhere I guess that makes it right?

Goodnight

I clearly recall the maths teacher standing on boy's feet while slapping them around the head and slamming desk lids down on fingers. I also recall the head using a cricket bat rather than a cane ...
trauma

You have no idea what it is like to be traumatised throughout your entire education. To dread going to school because you know the teachers will smack you, humiliate you in front of the class, to be called thick, stupid, dmb, mron, imil. For the kids to laugh, some to help and sympathise and then get in trouble themselves
To have hard wooden board rubbers thrown at you and to know that the next day it will all start again
Ooh. Did someone else go to my db's private prep?"
As I've pointed out their are plenty of pretty awful independent schools out there paying does not necessarily mean it going to be better. But certainly the school my Ds attends and the three others that i have extensive inside experience off are not by any stretch of the imagination are like the image portrayed above. It is also time to move on preps may have been vicious unkind places 20 years ago but I doubt you'll find a prep school in England now smacking children and although teachers who humiliate children may exist I suspect these teachers exist in the state sector as well.

violence not valence.

I clearly recall the maths teacher standing on boy's feet while slapping them around the head and slamming desk lids down on fingers. I also recall the head using a cricket bat rather than a cane ...
trauma

On you? or you just watched it? Tell that to morethanpotatochips. You have my sympathy. Now I really do have to go. My back aches (too much at the gym)

Bad teachers, cruel children, toxic headteachers - they exist everywhere.

rabbitstew they certainly do neither good/bad/indifferent teachers exist everywhere but corporal punishment of any kind does not exist in either sectors.

Still not been on that proof reaidng course!
rabbitstew they certainly do good/bad/indifferent teachers exist everywhere but corporal punishment of any kind does not exist in either sectors.

Reading not reaidng!!

"And I meant to add that I completely understand your irritation about stupid offensive remarks about state schools because I feel the same about people who make gross generalisations or stupid and offensive remarks about independent schools the children who attend them and their parents.

Show me some of these gross generalisations and stupid and offensive remark about independent schools, the children who attend them and their parents. If they are a quarter as ignorant and offensive as those made about state schools, the children that attend them and their parents I will change my will to leave all my worldly goods to Toby Jones to do with as he wishes.

It was only a few years ago that my friend's DS was beaten up as he got off his school bus and his nose was broken. He was at grammar school and the boys who broke his nose were at the same grammar school and got off the bus at the same stop. It is simplistic and misleading to think that these things don't happen at grammar schools or private schools.
I expect that everyone of a certain age has stories of teachers throwing board rubbers etc-my father definitely had a few. Luckily they can't do it anymore.

happygardening - don't worry, I was aware that corporal punishment was not allowed in either sector any more! Mind you, the sentiments behind the board rubber throwing and beating have not necessarily disappeared in either sector.

One issue is in some areas of the country you just do not haev much choice of school - no good local private, fairly useless comp and you are miles from any other schools (that is not an issue in the SE/London of course), unless you choose a state or private boarding school. I suppose the choice then is home education, board or move or put up with useless school.

And most private school parents are kidding themselves if they think they are all-powerful and can ensure that only the best headteachers and teachers get near their children (even in the "best" schools a change of headmaster can ruin everything quite quickly). I've read plenty of threads on mumsnet of people putting up with a miserable experience for their children in private school because they think it's the only way they'll get them into the senior part of the school, or putting up with their kids being unhappy because it's good for them etc, so exactly the same sort of thing still goes on in the private sector in that respect now as it did when my db was at a school stuffed full of miserable boys whose parents wanted their kids to get into the senior school. Parents can make some atrocious mistakes with their children's education - if they are lucky enough to have any choices with which to make mistakes. By the way, the school my db went to improved hugely once the old headmaster finally retired, after a lengthy and tyrannical career.

Oh, and I'm not convinced any schools exist in which all the teachers are brilliant. All schools have teachers parents would rather their children managed to avoid.

@seeker really? I thought he was good as the Dreamlord but not that good.....

You are of course right. One private school has been criticised in this thread, from a position of local knowledge. Others have been praised. I've seen no negative generalisations about private schools as a whole.