How much do you sacrifice to send Dc to private school?

[VeryTiredMummyOf2]

I have 2 Dc, just want to know what people give up? And is it worth it?

Erm no Savannah because you don't have control in a private school if anything they are less influenced by parents because they don't have to work with the parents they can just tell you to leave if they don't like you or your child.

I honestly believe if most parents knew what their DC weren't getting there would be an outcry but they don't do they are happy enough. It's easier to believe people pay for the lovely grounds.

No, not at 5! :)

So excluding children with special needs means better quality education, does it? Nice attitude. Not disputing your facts, Heswall, but if you should bear in mind that children with SN are overwhelmingly the victims, not perpetrators, of bullying.
Despite this fact, I graciously permit my DS to be educated with the "able" community - privately - and I'm delighted to say I've encountered nothing but positive attitudes from other parents.

Auto correct has made that post a bit strange hopefully you get the general jist

"Erm no Savannah because you don't have control in a private school if anything they are less influenced by parents because they don't have to work with the parents they can just tell you to leave if they don't like you or your child"

Not true when the schools need pupils to pay the bills! I quote "we are here to keep parents happy first, children second and then teach"

Err ok sorry Heswall - got it wrong again...

I will defer to your superior knowledge of the system and admit defeat

Think I'll just leave now.

When the school has a waiting list they don't need to keep anyone happy for a start, but my experience is that the school does things their way and you as a paying customer can take it or leave it.

I don't necessarily like or agree with that either but as it happens I've been generally happy with most of the schools policies not all though. It's not perfect.

In some ways that is what I pay for - the lack of parental constant interference (although of course if children were unhappy and exams being failed parents would withdraw children so market forces do work indirectly like that). I want the teachers to be able to get on with things their way because it works so well. I want parents kept out of schools and not interfering too much. I want that compact or trust between parents and school where on the whole you support the school and the child knows that and has that consistency of attitude. I want the opposite of the blame culture. I want robustness, putting up with things, learning about what working with others and life can be about.

"When the school has a waiting list they don't need to keep anyone happy for a start, but my experience is that the school does things their way and you as a paying customer can take it or leave it"

Reputation is everything.

I'd rather not have the putting up with things. I think ds has done rather a lot of that this school year.

The school has places available but doesn't seem overly concerned to deal with the issue that has led to a third of the class complaining to the head and some removing their dcs.

I was very candid with the head at ds's new school and asked how he would deal with the various issues that have arisen (and not been dealt with). He said none of it would be tolerated at all. The school has a long waiting list so it will be interesting to see if the reality is the same as the head has promised.

Xenia - yes that is my experience. In many ways it is this that makes teaching in private schools so much easier. But I struggled with parents who really didn't care and used us as parenting.

I wouldn't say I don't care at all but I do want to trust teachers to do as they choose quite a bit, within reason of course. I like my children being with parents who take responsibility and don't pursue a blame culture. Putting up with things is not that bad for children obviously depending on what that might be. You will always get some teacher they don't like or some personality clash or some child in their class they have difficulties with and I want my children to learn how to deal with that, how to be robust, tolerant, competent. All those things are equally so in many state schools.

I am going to bed and not sure exactly what we are talking about now. No one in a good selective academic private school is going to put up with someone disrupting lessons of course although some of that will go on everywhere in all schools. Or perhaps we've just been very lucky in the various schools where our 5 children have been/are.

teacher how do you know that the teachers in your DS's school match or exceed the ones in my DS's independent school. If I made such a comment re the teachers in his school matching or exceeding those in the state sector I'd never hear the end of it! You make grand claims for your DS's school and the standard of education he received stating that it matches anything provided in the independent sector but how do you know? What evidence are you basing you comments on? Have you ever had children at the likes of St Paul's Westminster Eton etc. do you have personal experience of what these schools are like? Do you really have any idea of what these schools are all about.

Icarried I'm curious to know what you mean by the term "used us a parenting" maybe if you're teaching in a day school it's different but for those at boarding school the housemasters/ mistresses are acting in loco parentis. I personally let them get on with it. I'm pretty sure they don't want me interfering every 10 mins. Apologies for errors still can't find glasses!

Ignorant question from a state school girl!
Do private schools have the equivalent of governing bodies? [I know things are 'up in the air/ variable' in states what with academies and wotnot]. My experience is with a non academy primary that does have a robust governing body which challenges as well as supports the Head/ school. Is there an equivalent in private?

Well I am glad these schools that supposedly exclude children with SEN, are basically controlled by parents and put teaching third, aren't anything like my DS's Prep or the independent senior school he is going to.

I've only ever encountered improper parental influence and deliberately making SEN children feel so uncomfortable that they leave, at Ofsted outstanding state schools (one of which DS used to attend and several of which I know very well as I work for a LEA).

Most private schools are charities and they do have a Government board.
Here for example is the board of Governor's of my older daughter's old school
www.habsgirls.org.uk/general.php?area=about_us&page_id=8

The private schools do much better so it is pretty clear the ways they work are many many times better in most areas than most state schools.

Private school teachers in the better schools tend more often to have degrees in their subject, not that that necessarily makes someone better at teaching of course. You tend to get less staff turnover too on the whole.

out of interest - not really relevant sorry but want to garner the expertise that is here - where do you find out about gaining scholarships to private schools?

ds is looking to be (so far obviously all can change) very bright and i'm an ex teacher so in a position to tutor, work towards entry exams or whatever with him i guess, and i'm wondering what academic scholarships for schools exist? he's fine in state primary but i'd be looking to move and have a real change of life before secondary school starts so it's secondary education i'm thinking of.

(actually he's not fine in state primary i'm really scared about next year when he could be put in one of two classes, one of which i have observed and been shocked by the teacher and dread the idea of him having to spend a year in her class learning absolutely bugger all)

You need to look on the websites of the schools that you are interested in ,they will usually have details of what scholarships and bursaries available. Usually they are under either Admissions or fees .In addition you can contact the schools and ask them to send details

thanks mrswoodentop. would be handy if there was some collated info somewhere.

There is allocated info but you have to pay for it via a search company or do the leg work yourself. I would choose the school first then apply for financial help, they don't typically advertise or make it easy but it is available.

there is a fab school in the next village - they don't even list their fees and no scholarships for juniors but sounds like they offer up to 100% bursary on secondary places but obviously with very high standards academically/musically/sporting to qualify.

interesting to have in mind as an option. one of the entry possibilities is to have a level 7 in a musical instrument - wonder how many parents with gifted musicians are aware of that - maybe music teachers tell them?

anyway apologies for the hijack.