How much do you sacrifice to send Dc to private school?

[VeryTiredMummyOf2]

I have 2 Dc, just want to know what people give up? And is it worth it?

Oh for Heavens sake.

Look around at all the options open to you. State/Private/Home Ed/Whatever.
Look at what you want for your DC.
Do what suits your dc best and is available to you.
If everyone wanted the same out of life, the world would be a very boring place.

Poor OP. Yet again another thread has been totally hijacked into a private v state argument.

BORING.

I assume they would get cash from the LEA though wouldn't they?

Our local comp changed its catchment area a couple of years ago. It meant that there was no space for dcs from our village and instead they were allocated a school the other side of town with no way of getting there.

A big stink was created and the LEA had to fund the provision of extra classrooms to accommodate the village dcs. Can't remember the exact numbers but it was more than 30 places.

The LEA doesn't have magic resources of money. It comes from central government. If there's suddenly an extra 70 per 1000 kids in the system, either the pet head spend goes down or tax goes up to fund them.

Well our LEA magically found funds to provide new classrooms so it can happen.

No, they got it from central government. And if every LEA had to do the same they would be a problem.

Having made lists and lists of pros or cons for our family in going state/inde I wonder if there is any 'evidence' if making big sacrifices IS really worth it. Could it create stress and disadvantage for the child? As I said for us our sacrifies would be spending less time together when the children are very young, financial pressure etc. I am not sure, living with family, not having a pension, large loans as some posters are doing, is sensible or really is worth it. There are many parents at our local prep who have never set foot in their state school options. Fine if money is not an issue, but for the majority where money is an issue, this seems very strange.

Chub I'm not sure they did. They changed the boundary and it was left to them to sort out their own mess. No reason for funding from central govt because the LEA chose to allocate funds incorrectly.

FFS!!! Is this bollocks still going on??!!!

I've looked in on this thread a number of times today and contributed a few times too.

Are you all insane? What are you arguing about? How can anyone say oh my super ultra school is better than state school? You can't compare annonymous schools like that!

Many state schools score higher on league tables than private schools. Check the Times. If it doesn't put you on the street, however, then in the right circumstances, paying for private schools can be really rewarding.

You don't have to bitch at people who have made other decisions, that's their affair.

The OP asked a legitimate question that drew me to the thread originally. But, since the first page or so, few people ( Icarrieda being one recent exception) have attempted to answer.

There have been allegations of jealousy made against those who have chosen the private sector, but my reading of this thread is that most of the defensive (bitchy?) comments have come from mums who advocate private education, not vice versa. Curious, wistful, and at worst a little envious, questions have been bitten and snapped at without regard to personal circumstance and sensibilities.

Cringe!

Xenia, it is distasteful to throw out money claims as you do, but as you've kind of put it out there, I have to wonder how on earth 1.5 million is spent on private schools, 25 years or not. That sounds like a lot of children!! And why specify gross income? Is there a tax deduction that changes the net amount you spend on school fees And surely you are not including university, which is really a different matter?

I will admit to being more than a little sloshed on Easter champagne, but really... This is beyond any understanding. I repeat, utter bollocks.

I still struggle with the whole private ed concept. What are you buying?

If your DC is well motivated, works hard and is intelligent then the GCSEs will follow as night follows day. Spending £10,00 a year to achieve pretty much the same result seems daft to me

When it comes to A levels I can see that quality of education matters. Top universities will question closely at interview and will identify weaknesses and gaps in knowledge. However achieving this does not necessarily mean that private is the best option. My DD will be going to a state 6th form which is a popular option for a lot of private ed students looking for a wider choice come A level.

The GSCEs and motivation are not a given in state school at all. Children, girls can be turned off maths and science at a very early age. Sport is once a week at state senior school locally instead of three double periods. It's easy to be lost and overlooked in a school of 1200 pupils maybe you pay for the individual attention and the fact that the teachers have known your strengths since you were 7 and care enough to tailor their lessons to you.

GnomeDePlume* lets assume that you have the money to pay if you make the sacrifices/get a bursary/or what ever (we've acknowledged many don't). I think we're not all paying for the same thing. It's easier to understand why people who live in areas with rubbish state schools pay but why do people like myself with excellent state schools pay?
Its what you personally want out of education. For me its not just exam results and good universities its the opportunity to experience things that I am unable to provide. Not sporting opportunities although we are rural and my DS participates in three different sports at school on a regular basis; one would be unavailable outside of his school and the other two would require me to drive a 145 mile round trip miles and 60 mile round trip miles for him to undertake. This is just an anomaly that has risen because of our location. We pay and make sacrifices for the level of intellectual stimulation/challenge he receives at his school unrelated to the daily lessons. This may or may not improve his exam results or chances of getting to a better university but it gives him a deep sense of satisfaction and pleasure.
What we haven't done is sacrifice family life. We are a close family and enjoy just being together, taking an interest in each other, doing often the simplest of things and laughing. All this costs nothing. We like others above have sacrificed material things new cars bigger house etc but none of these things bring you pleasure like a family meal or a trip to the cinema. In fact Im unconvinced that when we stop paying we will then go out and buy the new car or the bigger house or the luxury holiday because we've found that there is more to life than this.

I totally agree with Happy and I think this nicely concludes this discussion!

Gnome because (weird as I probably am) I regard GCSEs and A levels as the by product of a good education and not the purpose .

Education is about a whole lot more than just getting certificates and I found that the only place I could get something approaching that in a school was to go private

LK, the £1.5m.. surely I am entirely on point. The question was what have you given up because of private schools so I did the sums.
5 children from age 3 - 18 in private schools and then educated to university level and beyond at parent expense, no loans. It was a rough calculation without including the cost of nannies.

On the basis of 18 years say 4 - 21 including university which has vcost about the same so far £10k a year x 5 children let us say 17 years x 5 children x £10,000, that is £850,000 grossed up at 40% which has roughly been the tax rate on the higher marginal income throughout which means you multiply by 1.6666 to get to the gross income earned I have spent about £1.5m of my gross earnings on the chidlren's school and university costs over the last 24 years since I started paying for daughter 1 (who now has a job).

You are right that the gross cost is not the right comparison and the fees are certainly not tax deductible. So the cost isabout £850,000, probably a bit more because of school trips, school coaches and the fact the fees have been a bit over £10,000 sometimesit may be nearer £1m but you might want to strip out the university years to make it a better calculation.

Heswall didn't you say you couldn't see 12k difference between your local village schools teaching of a neighbours child and whatbyour own were getting privately? And you home ed so am surprised argue this so heavily when you are so inconsistent

No, I didn't say I couldn't see the difference, quite the opposite in fact, mine didn't have tables thrown at them by the SENCO for a start and we home ed as of next monday and they will be going back as soon as DH has a job. I don't consider private education to be worth making us homeless for but it's worth missing an extra holiday.

If you are lucky (sorry Xenia, luck plays a huge part in it) enough to be able to afford to send your DCs to private ed and provide a happy, secure family life then there is no sacrifice.

If you are sacrificing your family's security by cutting back on life insurance, pension payments, mortgage payments you are buying something you cannot afford. You are making no more a sensible decision than someone who squanders the family security on bingo and plasma televisions.

You did say it. I am surprised that you think this level of disruption is good for them.

I just checked I said I couldn't see that much difference, so I went back and had a look and then remembered why we moved them in the first place, my daughters 10 year old friend can't do my 7 year olds homework. Which wouldn't be half as bad if somebody was doing something about it but they aren't, by they I mean the school.
An extended summer holiday is bad for them ? Funnily enough they disagree.

But even if it was the most awful thing in the world I have no choice so I'm working with what I have. Nobody wishes DH would get a job more than me but he hasn't so there we go.

All the moving about is bad and to be fair you do not sound committed to home ed it is just because you can't afford private. It may not be just an extended summer holiday as you do not know when you will be able to afford it. This surprised me as you are so outspoken about those who choose other than you.

Btw I am sure they do disagree! What child wouldn,t. They have been shifted about so much wrt schooling they are probably delighted.

I do know what I can afford after the summer holidays and have a plan of action surprisingly enough.
It's a reflection on the poor state education that my children will be no worse off skipping an entire term than they would be attending the local primary for 10 weeks of non competitive sports day, a crap school play, repeating work they will have already done etc. They may be behind at private if I am not careful, luckily I have a good idea what they are covering in the summer term and we shall do that at home.
If we like it we might continue, who knows.

So what if they've been shifted about, I was shifted about, DH was shifted about. big deal, the alternative was my eldest daughter being hanged by the neck at one state school, she could have died and the little bastard involved would have been under the age of criminal responsibility so sent off to Butlins for a few years to have his brow mopped. Should I have ignored it ? Left her there or used the money we had at the time to solve the problem and be delighted with the educational outcome at the same time ?
How many times have you moved house ? Hardly providing a stable environment either are you ? Mine have had the same bedroom throughout there life, they know where the family home is one year to the next.

There are more holes in your argument than a sieve but I am not here to wrangle with you. I think you are doing your children a disservice though. You did say in January you could see no difference or little And if you could you would rob a bank. Slight shift now. This is the problem if in reality you can,t afford it it causes massive disruption and the kids don,t know where they are.

My son has been in the same 2 schools all through. No princes great education and happy and content. You are clinging on to a middle class idea by your nails but can,t afford it You sound ridiculous