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Original poster

Parents from private schools

893 replies

freakazoidroid · 15/12/2011 08:57

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

OP posts:
amerryscot · 15/12/2011 18:01

If you look at the thread title, poor Seeker, you will see that you are not part of the target audience.

Your DS has failed the 11+ - this is not the same as getting high levels on SATs. They are two completely different measures.

Maybe now you will eat humble pie and lay off those of us who do not have the choice to use grammar schools but toil and sweat to give the very best education we can to our children.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 18:01

Seeker - You aren't being bashed. But your appeal is rather inconsistent with your strident opinions vis a vis seective schooling. Good luck with the appeal.

seeker · 15/12/2011 18:02

I used SATs as shorthand. I could have mentioned CATS and reading age and so on, but didn't think it was necessary.

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 18:02

I am curious to the basis for the appeal. No Pony Club at the sec mod, perhaps?

MrsCampbellBlack · 15/12/2011 18:03

Anyway back to the question . . .

My dc's are at a private prep and like all schools it has its good and bad points - mostly good though to be fair.

The catchment is largely rural and I've found you get back what you put in regarding friendships with other parents.

And realistically there aren't that many beaten up cars there but there is a mix of children but as its prep and no bursaries - there's someone somewhere paying the fees be it grandparents or an ex-husband.

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 18:03

Unfortunate choice of shorthand, given that SATs are nothing remotely to do with CATs.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 18:04

Seeker - Have you looked at independent alternatives? (joke)

seeker · 15/12/2011 18:06

Many people do not understand CATS- I thought that level 5 in year 5 would indicate that he was a bright child. Also saying that by any objective measure he was in the top 23% might hve been a bit of an indicator too.

PollyParanoia · 15/12/2011 18:06

I feel for Seeker and do agree that she seems most bashed on this thread. A boy I know in Essex is preposterously bright but didn't pass his 11+ for whatever reason. He ended up getting a 13+ scholarship to one of UK's top private schools. His parents were v anti private schools, but they realised that in a selective state system if your dc ends up in the wrong place (which might work the other way round too), there's no chance of remedying it.

seeker · 15/12/2011 18:09

"I am curious to the basis for the appeal. No Pony Club at the sec mod, perhaps?"
Sadly he has always steadfastly refused to get on a horse.

Happy to tell you about the grounds for appeal- but suspect that you are only looking for other sniping opportunities. Using skills learned in the CCf at your children's school, presumably.

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 18:10

Nice try.

PollyParanoia · 15/12/2011 18:12

And why do people always insist on correlating wealth with type of car you drive? We drive a crap car but are actually pretty affluent, but just don't chose to spend our money on motors because we can't give a monkey. If our kids attended a private school, we'd no doubt be held up as a family making huge sacrifices for our children's education...

seeker · 15/12/2011 18:12

At what?

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 18:14

We have old cars and a very modest house - and that allows us to free up our income for education. It seems like a good trade-off. IMO, it is better to put money towards education rather than material goods.

thebestisyettocome · 15/12/2011 18:15

Seeker. You should move to the place where I grew up, Wigan. No private schools in the whole borough and grammars were of course abolished years ago. Utopia!

BrianAndHisBalls · 15/12/2011 18:15

back to the original question - the private school my dcs go to is a weird one as its not what I would call 'posh'. There are 4 other private schools nearby and they seem to have 'richer' parents (judging on the cars solely, fees are all roughly the same).

At our school there are 9 in dd's class, all the parents get on, we have nights out prob once every couple of months, all hug when meet, talk on phone/fb etc. No one is what I would call rich, professions - teachers, probation officer, virgin tv installer, HR etc. No horses/swimming pools/big houses.

I suppose it depends on the school. What I really like about ours is that the school is from 6months - 18years and the older girls all look after the younger girls, know their names, play with them etc, a really nice atmosphere.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 18:16

What are the grounds for the appeal?

bulletpoint · 15/12/2011 18:18

Interesting thread!

diabolo · 15/12/2011 18:24

These ones always are bulletpoint. Evil private education supporters versus saintly state school goodies (even though they still want selective state schools for their own DC's). Confused

seeker · 15/12/2011 18:26

MrsJAP- simply " look, mr and mrs appeal panel, here are this child's CATs, SATs, reading age and Head teacher's report. As you can see, they bear absolutely no relation to his 11+ scores, and we have no idea why. Obviously something's gone wrong somewhere- please could yo put it right."

bulletpoint · 15/12/2011 19:22

seeker "please could you put it right ?" really ? what you're asking them to do then is to offer your ds a place even though he failed the 11 plus exam, regardless of all these other wonderful scores and reports, how would that then be fair to other rejected candidates ? Frankly i think your appeal is outrageous.

Original poster
freakazoidroid · 15/12/2011 19:28

Please could we keep this on topic the grammar school is not relevant to my question Wink

OP posts:
seeker · 15/12/2011 19:32

If that was directed at me, diabolo, I have said a zillion times that I am completely opposed to selective education- but i have no choice but to engage with it

And people have of course a perfect right to use private education- (at least until I become Dictator!).What I object very strongly to is the pretence that it is a choice available to any but a very few. This is encapsulated by the 'beaten up old Volvo' line. As if this demonstrates what an incredibly diverse clientele the school has. At my ds's school many parents struggle to find a couple of quid for swimming. That is the reality for most people in this country today.

RedNoseBabyGiraffes · 15/12/2011 19:32

OP if you like what you've seen at the nursery stage I'd leave her where she is Smile

lambethlil · 15/12/2011 19:33

Private Preps are less mixed than secondary schools, because they don't usually have bursaries.

I know of a State Primary school about 100 yards away from a Private Secondary. The parents of the primary are much richer than those of the Secondary because the admissions to the Primary are based on catchment area, a catchment area which includes about 10 social housing units and the rest of the catchment area £750,000++. The 'posh' school round the corner has about 30% bursary places, giving free schooling from pupils in households of less than £40,000.