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Original poster

Parents from private schools

893 replies

freakazoidroid · 15/12/2011 08:57

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

OP posts:
MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 17:16

Seeker - are you appealing a school place?

seeker · 15/12/2011 17:18

Yes.

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 17:19

And I live where I live, where state schools are sh*te.

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 17:20

You could send your child to the secondary modern with all the other nice but dims.

thebestisyettocome · 15/12/2011 17:21

I am speechless!

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 17:22

Don't be - Seeker has been like this for years. Oo, the anguish of her DD going to a grammar school an hour's drive away. Balls to the local community.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 17:23

Seeker- so why are you appealing? Are you to happy with the school you son was allocated?

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 17:24

Are you not happy.

FellatioNelson · 15/12/2011 17:25

But seeker you do have a choice. Your DD passed the 11 plus and therefore she is at the school she is entitled to be at, and presumbly the one which is best suited to her, and the one allocated to her according to her ability.

But by the sound of things your son has not passed, and by appealing to get him accepted into grammar school you are effectively rejecting comprehensive/inclusive education and choosing the selective system over the inclusive one.

JordanBaker · 15/12/2011 17:26

And without moving, what choice do I have? Round here (London) the state secondaries are crap. 25% of children are privately educated. Which means that, as in your area, the comprehensives are not truly comprehensive at all.

I don't blame you for doing what you feel you have to do, I really don't. Just don't attack the rest of us who are doing the same.

FellatioNelson · 15/12/2011 17:28

And before you say that the secondary schools in Kent are not comprehensive or inclusive, they are only that way because parents choose to push their children towards grammar. There is no obligation to sit the 11 plus or to take the place when it is offered. The secondary schools could be more inclusive if parents of the most able children wanted them to be. It's easy. You just send your children there.

Chandon · 15/12/2011 17:30

depends on the school! I moved my kids from state to private in September.

It's a friendly school, not snobby.

If someone would not want to hang out with us because we don't go skiing etc, I would not care to meet them anyway.

SoupDragon · 15/12/2011 17:40

There are three local private secondaries where the minimum you will pay with a bursary is £201 a year.

RedNoseBabyGiraffes · 15/12/2011 17:40

Oh what a shame, this thread started so well and turned into the usual 'let's bash those having gone private' argument. I won't justify our choice which is long, complicated, boring and personal.
Getting back to the original question, it really depends on the school and also the class. My dd was in nursery at her school last year and half her current class came up from nursery with half joining new. There's a huge range of backgrounds in the class and everyone is very friendly. There are very few truly rich people in the school and many are like us and make huge sacrifices to send their child. We are lucky to have five other girls living very close to us so there will be play dates etc at some point. We've also had mum's and dad's nights out (separately) so there is already a real sense of community.

saythatagain · 15/12/2011 17:47

Very similar to you RedNoseBabyGiraffes

seeker · 15/12/2011 17:48

We live in an area where there are no comprehensive schools. There are grammar schools and high schools. Because 23% of children go to grammar school, the high schools, however good ( and many are excellent) do not have what, in a comprehensive school, would be the "top sets. My dd passed the 11+ and chose not to go to our nearest grammar school ( which also happens to be our nearest secondary school, amerryscot - we live in the depths of the country) but another one 15 miles away. My ds, despite level 5s in year 5, failed the 11+ catastrophically to the amazement of every teacher he has ever had. We are appealing. If he was just an averagely bright boy who just failed we would not - the high school is perfectly fine. However, he is, by any objective measure, an intelligent child who should, to enable him to achieve his potential, be in the top set of a comprehensive. But as we don't have a comprehensive, so the only place he will find a substantial peer group academically is at the grammar school.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 17:48

Seeker - it seems a bit odd to appeal when places have been awarded on merit, no? Unless he was unwell on the day or something.

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 17:49

Hypocrite, hypocrite.

seeker · 15/12/2011 17:50

Please explain why I am a hypocrite?

amerryscot · 15/12/2011 17:51

One choice for you, another for everyone else.

Do as I say, not do as I do.

Your child is too good for the sec mod. Let's face it.

diabolo · 15/12/2011 17:51

I've got a beaten up old Skoda. Can I have a prize please?

seeker · 15/12/2011 17:52

"Seeker - it seems a bit odd to appeal when places have been awarded on merit, no? Unless he was unwell on the day or something."

The system supposed to select the top 23 %. My son is by any objective measure in the top 23%. The system has therefore not selected o. Merit.

seeker · 15/12/2011 17:56

"Your child is too good for the sec mod. Let's face it."

No he isn't. And that is where he will probably go.

seeker · 15/12/2011 17:57

"Oh what a shame, this thread started so well and turned into the usual 'let's bash those having gone private' argument"

Actually, the only person being bashed is me- the anti private school person!

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2011 17:59

Seeker - Good luck with your appeal. But since when were SATs a good measure of academic potential? In any case, it's completely possible that it's a high achieving year. You can't possibly say your on is in the top 23% by any objective measure when the only objective measure is the entrance test/11+ and he didn't make the cut.