Parents from private schools

[freakazoidroid]

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

What if Seeker can't afford to go independent?
What if it really is an anomalous glitch that Seeker's DS didn't get his place? Should all appeals about everything be dismissed as the parents and teachers claiming something they don't deserve? What is the point of an appeal system about the results of the 11+ if everyone who takes advantage of it is run out of town as nabbing someone else's place? Why shouldn't Seeker appeal and leave it to the appeal panel to examine and weigh up the evidence? Why do you know better, amerryscot, about whether a child should get through an appeal or not? Or is your advice motivated by something other than ideaology?

Neither Seeker, nor any other member, should complain about blood splattering on them when they are the ones who first plunge the knife.

Are you saying that if my child gets a place on appeal he would be depriving another child who passed of a place? It doesn't work like that. Everyone who passes gets a place. An extra place is made for anyone who wins an appeal. That is why so few appeals are successful.

She has bragged about being able to comfortably afford school fees.

Have I? When?

I think comments aimed specifically at a posters children are out of order. It's irrelevant who plunged the knife in first, snide comments about children are a step too far.

I wish your son well seeker, I hope you manage to find him a place in a school which is right for him.

Haven't got time to read the whole thread, but why not send to state school and then pay for tuition needed.

Certainly, everyone can apply for a bursary, Elaine. However, if you can afford the fees, then you won't qualify for one.

Well, all I can say, a merryscot, is that I hope you tech the kids at your school better debating skills than you seem to be displaying on here! Just so you know, it's customary to be able to back up generalisations and support assertions. Oh, and provide evidence for personal attacks/comments.

I generally reserve my "snarky" remarks for people who suggest that private education is an option for any but a tiny minority of families. I have made 2 such remarks on this thread. Both directed at the suggestion that private education is inclusive and socially diverse.

And I have no choice but to use selective education. I cannot move from the county in which I live. As I feel I have said a million times.

If there was a chance of being allocated a comprehensive school that's what I would do. But there aren't any.

Well, obviously the pro private school crowd are psychic as well as skilled debaters- the two co mets I made whic seem to have triggered th onslaught are obviously aimed at the "private schools are so very socially inclusive" attitude. Not at private schools in general, and certainly not at private school educated children.

Sigh.

In saying those things I was trying to make a point about disingenuous and false 'pity'.

I know some pleasant enough children who went to private schools, and I know some people who use them. That particular decision made by those parents, though, I do not respect.

Please could you take a look at the thread on "secondary education" about state school and Eton. Scroll down to a post on 18/12/10 approx 11am. Oh, and a few posts on either side. Remark about how your values have changed.

I think it's great that some children can get a bursary or scholarship that makes private education accessible to them. I'm very pleased for belledchocchip's dc, but on a thread asking about the social mix at a private school, it is a bit disingenous to claim that private schools are economically inclusive except for a tiny lucky minority to people on very low incomes. amerryscot says so herself on another thread, that bursaries are generally a very small amount, and she doesn't support them anyway as the cost falls on other parents and she questions what parents in families who qualify have done to 'deserve' these bursaries. Which doesn't give a great signal of welcome to economically disadvantaged parents. IMO.

How is that relevant, amerryscot? The op in that thread was intending to get her child to sit the 11+, pass it, take up a place intending to leave after 2 years. Which I think is wrong- there are a finite number of places, so that child would would displace someone.

There is q little slack built into the system to allow a few children who have not passed for whatever reason to be allocated places on appeal. It is one of those places that my son might get. He would only be competing against other 11+ failures, so would displace no one.

How is it not?

Because the two cases a completely different.

In your eyes, conveniently.

But the parallels are glaringly obvious.

They aren't obvious to me. Please elucidate. My child getting a place will not deprive anyone else of a place except possibly another 11+ failure whose case was not considered as strong by the appeal panel. Everyone who passed will get a place.

Seeker claims not. 11+ passers keep their honestly deserved places. The children of the sharp-elbowed bump up class sizes to 33 or 34. They get to share the love.