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Original poster

Parents from private schools

893 replies

freakazoidroid · 15/12/2011 08:57

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

OP posts:
DoesntChristmasDragOn · 16/12/2011 11:49

"But where the 11+ system exists, they've separated squares and oblongs. You can't have a comprehensive system ith no squares"

That's not true though. There are also;
Those children who were bright enough but did not sit (technically squares),
Those who passed but turned the place down (also squares)
Those who passed but did not gain place (parallelograms)
Those who are bright but managed to fail (could be square, could be a parallelogram)

claig · 16/12/2011 11:53

I don't think anyone should be called a "square", that's not cool.
Oblongs I have no objection to.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 16/12/2011 11:54

On topic:

I think that in the vast majority of private schools, there are as many super rich as there are bursary children. the children I know who went to private primary are all ordinary children from ordinary families.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 11:56

I used to work in a secondary modern school in Buckinghamshire. There (at the time, not sure if still), all children sat the 12+, and went to either the grammar or secondary modern. There was no grey area.

The school I was in still had a top set, expected to get top grades. They just didn't have multiple top sets. The top set (and more) went to the grammar school for sixth form.

If you are a fan of state education, it really isn't the end of the world to go to the secondary modern. You can still aspire to doing A-levels, and also have a wide range of vocational courses.

What I would do in Seeker's shoes after eating humble pie, is to send my child to a non-selective independent school. I am sure there are plenty in her neighbourhood catering for families exactly like hers.

seeker · 16/12/2011 11:59

And your apology/explanation for your disgusting remark about my son, amerryscot?

claig · 16/12/2011 11:59

I went to a private school abroad. A chauffeur-driven long, black stretch limo, with a behatted chauffeur, used to pick me up on the walk to school. Inside were the children of diplomats. Nobody cared how much money anyone else had. It was about whether you were an oblong or not, how cool you were and how popular you were.

weblette · 16/12/2011 12:02

No it isn't the end of the world merryscot and I know lots of children at upper schools who are doing incredibly well.

However if you have a child who wants to do single sciences and MFL to A-Level, the grammars are your only option other than private.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 12:03

Please tell me what I said that was disgusting.

JordanBaker · 16/12/2011 12:04

Seeker I have read all of your posts on here very carefully thanks.

My issue with you is that, as Pagwatch says, you pop up on every thread that discusses private schools and make snide remarks.

You expect us to understand why you have had to go against your principles and send your DD to a grammar school, and why you are appealing for a place for your son. I do understand that. Yet you will not entertain the notion that those of us in non-grammar areas may well have reluctantly chosen to go private for similar reasons. That is what I object to. And that is why I think you are a hypocrite.

And I'm sick of seeing you take the moral high ground when you have absolutely no right to do so.

I have no issue with your son at all, in fact I very much hope that he ends up in the school that is right for him, as I have said many times on this thread.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 16/12/2011 12:04

I know which comment it must be but I would not find it "disgusting" if said about my child. I would simply have defended my position.

claig · 16/12/2011 12:07

amerryscot, it was about Master and best.

Good luck to seeker and her DS in the appeal by the way.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 12:09

???

claig · 16/12/2011 12:10

search for it, I don't want to repeat it as it was not nice.

diabolo · 16/12/2011 12:12

It's a third of the way down Page 5.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 12:12

Pah, I'll wait for Seeker to tell me. I can't be bothered with games.

claig · 16/12/2011 12:17

I don't expect Seeker to have to tell you. You have made some good points on this thread, but it doesn't hurt to apologise for things said which are untrue and should not be said.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 12:19

Well, I can't apologise for something of which I have no knowledge.

And Seeker is hardly the type to put apologising at the top of her priority list. I guess if she doesn't give, she can't expect to receive.

Let's just leave it up to her, shall we. She is a big girl able to stand her own.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 16/12/2011 12:23

Ameryscot's comment about seeker's son wasn't disgusting in my book.

claig · 16/12/2011 12:24

It's always better to give than to receive. It's Christmas.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 12:25

Sounds like I have been giving too much already

claig · 16/12/2011 12:26

seeker does make snide comments about private schools etc. But there is snide and snide, and that comment was a personal snide comment. Just because seeker doesn't apologise, doesn't mean no one else should,.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 12:35

Seeker can truly stand up for herself.

Her comments aren't snide but rather full-on. They were disrespectful to the OP.

It is a good think that she has had to go way and think about her actions or lick her wounds . A lesson learned, I hope.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 16/12/2011 12:36

Ugh. I'm not sure I could cope with a reconciliation between theideologically opposed factions of Mumsnet.

"And behold" the ebf mother said. "Let us not allow difference to tear us apart. Let us share the breast milk and the delicious Cow&Gate. And while you toil in the field and save up for our own island, I'll be SAHM and look after Ptolemy in the holidays. And coach him for CE and 11+ as back-up will I, casting aside my ideological opposition to educational selection. Peace."

BarryShitpeas · 16/12/2011 12:37

Wow, amerryscot, I guess two wrongs really do make right?

notjoan · 16/12/2011 12:47

In Year 5, DC got the school prize for being cleverest of clever cloggs.
In Year 6, most of the others passed the 11+ but DC didn't.
We appealed and the appeals panel said "if you didn't pass the test you're not coming in"
Life is shit sometimes.
But it's good to see that karma is doing its job though.

PS How come no one is telling seeker that her DS will get differentiation if he is that clever? Where are the teachers to defend their corner when you need them