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Original poster

Parents from private schools

893 replies

freakazoidroid · 15/12/2011 08:57

We are considering private school for our dd. She is already at the nursery of the school we like and is due to start in reception in sept.
What I am worried about is the community of a private school. If she went to our local primary it would be more like that.
Can anyone please say what their experiences are? Have you made good friends with other parents and socialise with them?
Also we are not loaded and do not have a massive house and lots of nice holidays. In fact holidays would not occur much if we go private.
Will this hinder my dd at school as she gets older with her friends, will they pick on her for not having the lifestyle?
Thanks!

OP posts:
seeker · 16/12/2011 12:52

If I have said anything on this thread that is worthy of apology, I am happy to apologise.

I said that there are no poor children at private school- I am happy to amend that to there are a vanishingly small number of poor children at private school.
i
made a crack about beat up old Volvos- because this is regularly trotted out to show how socially divererse private schools are.

And I repeatedly said that it it wrong to suggest, as many people do, that private school is an option for many people if they work hard enough/ make enough sacrifices/care about their children's education enough. Nothing there, in my book worth an apology. No personal attacks, no insults, no attacks on anyone else's children. Can others say the same abouttheir contributions?

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 12:55

I guess I am none the wiser.

Now, I am going to do some ironing.

RedNoseBabyGiraffes · 16/12/2011 12:55
Xmas Grin
MrsCampbellBlack · 16/12/2011 13:19

But do people really say private education is available for many if they work hard enough. I know you say they do Seeker but I don't see it said really.

JordanBaker · 16/12/2011 13:27

Of course they don't Mrs Campbell. It just suits Seeker's prejudice argument to say they do. It certainly hasn't been said on this thread. It's just a line she likes to trot out (along with the beaten up Volvo thing and there being no poor children in private schools). It's really tedious.

amerryscot · 16/12/2011 13:29

And the chickens have come home to roost.

Pagwatch · 16/12/2011 13:34

MrsPrufrock,

No. I don't want total harmony on mn - what would be the point. Who wants to be surrounded solely by those who agree with you. Awful.

But I prefer the 'let's kick the crap out of each other' threads to be those designed for that purpose - general comments for discussion, politics, aibu etc. It is the endless hijacking of individual and personal queries for that purpose which I have a problem with.
And that is consistent across all those contentious areas. If you want to have a fight about bf/ff then do it on 'aibu to think bfing in public is awful' rather than 'my dh does not like me bfing which is making me really sad'.

I guess it's manners and consideration really - which is dull as fuck I know. But I am square.

seeker · 16/12/2011 13:40

Ah, amerryscot, come back to apologise/explain this?

"I feel sorry for Master Seeker that his best is not good enough"

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 16/12/2011 13:43

Seeker - IT's true isn't it? Your son gave it his best shot and the result isn't good enough for you.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 16/12/2011 13:49

Assuming he did give it his best shot and wasn't unwell or other mitigating circus.

bulletpoint · 16/12/2011 13:50

I dont get seeker's gripe with this particular statement either, im sure he did his best, but it wasn't good enough for where YOU want him to be, hence the appeal.

JordanBaker · 16/12/2011 13:52

Yup, in what way is it 'disgusting'?

ElaineReese · 16/12/2011 13:56

I think that Seeker has explained that the result is not consistent with his usual performance. And therefore she is looking into it.

'Master Seeker' is rather snide and implies preciousness, 'his best' is patronising and implies he's a bit dim, 'good enough' implies that Seeker is an over-bearing, demanding mother who is making her son feel bad about this.

Or such is my reading.

Also, clearly the 'I feel sorry for', from someone who doesn't, is unplesant - and of course saying that you feel sorry for anyone's child is inherently rude and knowingly unkind to the child's parent(s).

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 16/12/2011 14:00

"'Master Seeker' is rather snide and implies preciousness"

Really? Because to me it simply implies Seeker's son, given we don't know his name. My DS could easily, and accurately, be referred to as MasterDragon. Anyway, the whole thing isn't a comment about the child at all and it isn't "disgusting"

ElaineReese · 16/12/2011 14:05

Hmm, it sounded that way to me. Especially in context. 'Happy birthday to Master Seeker', maybe - 'what a shame Master Seeker failed his exam' not so much.

I think it was a bit of a cheap shot using the child to wind its mother up - that's how it reads to me, anyway. And 'Master' was only one of the things I said I thought was obviously not nice.

RedNoseBabyGiraffes · 16/12/2011 14:14

Oh ffs the terms stones and glass houses come to mind. Can we all go off and have a nice Brew and Biscuit and be done with it?

ElaineReese · 16/12/2011 14:16

Well, people asked what was wrong with it, and I'm saying that's where and why I think others have thought it was nasty. That's all.

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 16/12/2011 14:22

Aren't the Kent Test exams over 2 days? Did he fail both days? Just wondering.

wordfactory · 16/12/2011 14:24

Well I must be Time Nice But Dim, cos I thought that comment was about Seeker's view of her DS, not the DS himself.

But I'm willing to be told I'm wrong.

seeker · 16/12/2011 14:25

Thank you, Elaine.

RedNosedBabyGiraffe, I have never, ever personalised this debate. Never. And I would not dream of bringing anyone else's child into it.

And it is obvious that people have not read my posts- as usual, they are commenting on what they think I said, rather than what I actually said.

RedNoseBabyGiraffes · 16/12/2011 14:28

You personalised this debate by starting to discuss your son on a thread which by its title is asking current or former private school parents to give their experiences of private schools.
And yes, I have read your posts quite correctly on this and other similar threads.

Jajas · 16/12/2011 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElaineReese · 16/12/2011 14:28

But it's also rude to attribute that view regarding a child to its mother, no?

Anyway, then, I feel very sorry for all the Master and Little Misses who lack the concentration, maturity and native intelligence to hack it in a school where there are more than 9 in a class, and so have to be cossetted in the protective environments at private schools. I pity them for their paucity of wit and intellect, and for the fact that their parents don't have enough faith in them to believe they could achieve anywhere normal.

That's not rude, right?

Jajas · 16/12/2011 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 16/12/2011 14:31

seeker quite a few posters have said, and I will add, that we read your threads properly. They are after all a very regular feature on any thread vaguely linked to private school.

Please don't pretend that this is simply us misunderstanding you.
You have been doing this for far too long for so many of us to have made the same mistake.