contacting mumsnet about article

[singingmum]

Does anyone know how to contact mumsnet as I would like to know why they wrote such an ill informed article on home education.I know I have commented on this on another thread but the article is still there.I am severly dissapointed that this was written in such a way as to make He seem like a foolish thing to do.The article was badly researched and had no information that was helpful.Mumsnet has been a godsend on the advice front except for this and I am a little shocked that they have done this.
Any help or opinions appreciated.

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anais - good blog! Have bookmarked it for proper reading later (although I did notice it missed a commenting system, bah!)

I personally think home schooling is a great idea and has many advantages (but I'm looking forward to reading about a "typical" day/week/month as there's parts I just can't quite visualise). I strongly suspect its success hinges on a) the personality and commitment of the parent, b) the personality of the child and c) what other educational options there are in your area for your child's abilities (whether special needs or extremely bright).

It's something I'd quite like to do, but being honest about my own personality, I doubt I'd do very well. I need lots of me time (I know, I'm a selfish cow) to parent well, and I think potentially HE would mean lower quality parenting from me.

I suspect HE would have been good for me as a kid had my parents not been able to afford to send me to a private school (and later on when the money ran low I managed to get scholarships/bursaries) - simply because I ran riot in our local state school at the time because I wasn't stretched enough. Then again, I don't get on that well with my mother, so maybe that much quality time with her would have led to quality matricide

Anyway, reading with interest was what I'm trying to say in a VERY long winded way...

Yes, it is a bit early in the morning, isn't it, sobernow! can't cover all the points here but, I was thinking of my own experience of school.

I became increasingly shy and withdrawn as school progressed. I was OK in primary school, a little shy, very in awe of the teachers, but when I went to secondary I was bullied a lot, withdrew, hardly spoke a word all day but studied like mad. My education from age 11 had lots of negatives. The teachers took pity on me and put me in for the 13+, which I passed. But even when I changed schools I never got my confidence back (the bullying was the only reason for this, but it was one of them) I was painfully shy, wouldn't go on school holidays, or think about doing most of the extra curricular stuff on offer. It took me years to shake off my shyness.

Anyway, one of the wonders of motherhood for me is seeing how different my sons are to me. How they approach things, how they don't get on or do get on with people, what they like to do. I can't really speak of my 4 year old, it is too early to know, but with my 9 year old, I know his experience of schooling will be nothing like mine because he is such a different 9 year old to the one I was. I mean the teachers tried to encourage me to come out of my shell. In my son's case they try to put him back in it a little

So in my case, my decisions on his schooling have to relate to him and the here and now. I can't use my experience as a reference point.

Anais, you sound as if you feel your son is much more like you - the aspergers etc. Do you think this helps determine your views on his education? I know he is very young, so difficult to say. But as he grows older, if he seems very different in outlook and temperment, will you still feel a school is not a good place for him because of your own experience?

Having said this, I've read details of your days with your son, and I can't see how he would be anything less than happy, learning and stimulated. So I guess if he continues to thrive at home, and likes being at home, then does it really matter if past events have coloured your attitude to his schooling? I don't know the answer to this, frankly.

georgina, I think you are very right about HE depending on the personality and commitment of both the parent and the child.

Just to let you know, Anais has outlined a typical day in an earlier message - about 10 down from here.

Also, to pick up on kmg's post, my 9 year old keeps telling me how much he loves his school and I can see this for myself. It's not the work as such just the whole school thing. He so looks forward to school trips, school fairs, getting party invites from his classmates, school dinners, playground games etc

He has really changed for the better in the 2 years he has been there and gets so much out of it, so I agree that a school can work wonders. But of course, that again is down to personality and commitment.

Oh, echo everyone else about what a fascinating thread this is. Anais, do you think that one of the important things we should be trying to teach our children is how to be independent and manage away from us? I don't mean that aggressively, not at all, I just see how my ds is gradually becoming more independent as a result of school, and for us I think it's in a good way - he has friends and experiences that I am not part of and can't hope to understand. And I shouldn't either - I'm not a 6yo boy! However, I do appreciate that his experiences so far are good ones and that I wouldn't be feeling this way had he had the same experience as robinw's dd. Maybe I'm making the same point as Scummy in a way, about socialisation. I don't accept that it (the social aspect of school I mean) all comes about purely as a result of putting 30 kids of the same age together in a room, I think there's a lot more to it than that but I do think that it maybe does our children some good to have influences that aren't us, including influence from their peer group.

I have to say that when ds was younger (about 2ish?) I wondered about HE too since I think the school system fails our children in many ways (SATS and other early testing, starting school at 5yo, stupid government targets and paperwork etc. etc.) but in the end I decided I just don't have the energy/inclination/right qualities for it. Plus we've been lucky so far - we've found ok state schools and haven't come up against any insurmountable problems.

A question for all home edders: if there was a very small local school nearby which satisfied all your criteria about creativity and flexibility - maybe one made up of a group of say, 5 home ed families, would you still do it yourselves? I suppose what I'm interested to know is to what extent has your desire to home ed been influenced by the crap schools available to your children?

Anais- Just read your post about possible AS, - obviously no idea whether you or your son have AS, but it is fairly widely acknowledged that school is an incredibly difficult place for children with AS. Even if your son isn't, but juts shares some of the traits sounds like HE may be absolutely the best thing for him anyway.

WWW -from my position (which is different form most) that sort of school, would be useless for us.

The thing that really pust me off HE- and the reason I haven't done it yet (apart from the fact that we've found a good school) is that I really couldn't organise social activities for DS1. Local groups are just not accessible to him at all. He doesn't actually socialise with children at school, but he does seem to like being around them.

How mainstream schools cope with kids with AS is a sometimes a benchmark of their quality, I reckon. It sorts the men from the boys, as it were. There are schools out there who do a good job and, all else being equal, I think it's preferable for kids with AS- or any special needs come to that- to have a positive school experience if that can be arranged, particularly as it's that much more difficult for them to get out and about to do stuff outside school in many cases. But the number of good schools is not high enough, I agree, and I still think that the number of children with special needs being home edded reflects poor provision...

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I know what you are saying scummy- and ds1's school are doing well so far- and are being very fexible and are listening. Definitely great. i think there comes a time though when the environment of 29 other kids in close proximity. fluorescent lights, smelly noisy toilets, etc etc can become too much. You do reach a stage where even a good school is going to struggle to meet the child's needs. Good schools will be able to do something about issues like bullying, but they can struggle if every classroom has a flourescent light and child X can't cope with fluorescent lights. At that stage HE can become a lifesaver.

Have to say that although ds1 appears to be enjoying school- it must be overloading him to some extent. He hasn't slept a full night since startting (usually up for several hours) and has become very stimmy. For us at the moment school's advantages stil outweigh the disadvanatges, but I can see that it wouldn't take much for that to change.

Thanks everyone, I feel really quite choked up reading this

Scummy, I think my Mum did go through hell, but being a nearly-teenager and suffering from depression too made me selfishly unaware at the time, and I put her through a whole lot more hell. Self-harming and threatening suicide. I don't know how she coped and it's only since becoming a parent myself that I've really realised how tough it must have been

To be honest I think it's too late for any kind of diagnosis for myself. Lol, mostly I've come to terms with what and who I am, and other than the relationship problems I think I'm fairly balanced! One positive side of the situation is that I avoided most of the peer-pressure at the critical time, and I grew up without a lot of the neurosis (for want of a better word) that my friends did. I'm pretty happy most of the time

As for ds, I think it's all going to come to a head eventually and force my hand. Or maybe we'll just plod on the way we're going. I don't know yet, but I am really touched by your comments. Thank you

Robinw, I feel so sad reading your posts. I wish I could say or do something to make what you're going through a little easier

Sobernow, I am genuinely really happy right now. I feel like I'm doing something really meaningful with my life. I've been wondering about your question, and I'm not entirely sure how I feel.

I know there are some HE'rs with a similar set-up, small schools and flexi-schooling (part time school and part time home) is also a viable option. At the moment I love the flexibility we have - being able to drop everything and go out when the weather's nice or whatever - and I wouldn't want to be tied to specific days and times.

Having said that, if the arrangement could be completely flexible, like the drop-in centre you describe, then I can see it having potential benefits. It would depend who was running it, and what it would mean in terms of the LEA and whatever.

Georgina, Thank you for your comments about my Blog. It lacks a comment system as I haven't worked out how to activate it - I can't even get the thing to change the glaring typo in the introduction

There simply is no such thing as a typical day or week. We have very little in the way of a routine, as far as learning goes.

Tigermoth. I'm not sure the decisions I have made about education are solely or even largely to do with my own experiences - although it obviously had some kind of influence. In some ways ds is like me, in some he is very different. Dd, at the moment seems to be a carbon copy of me (poor girl ) which frightens me more than a little.

What I'm trying to say is that similar or different, I think what we're doing right now is the right thing. If that should ever change then of course we will reasses and adapt.

WWW, I agree wholeheartedly that independence is hugely important, and I feel that this is an integral part of what they will learn at home. Being at home they are learning a certain amount of home keeping skills (cooking, cleaning, washing, etc), which is an important part of setting them up for independence. As far as the independece itself, HE children are usually very confident and independent. That is because they don't have it forced upon them at age 4 or 5, but they can dip their toes in as and when they're ready. To me, that is far preferable.

So many people seem to have the idea that home educated = staying at home all day, which is far from the case. They mix with and form relationships with schooled children through 'after-school' clubs - brownies, football lessons, music/drama groups or whatever. And they also have the chance of social interaction with a far wider cross-section of people during 'school' hours.

Erm, as far as a small school goes, I kind of answered part of that in response to tigermoths question. Lack of decent schools locally was the first thing which inspired me to look at HE, but I have learnt so much since then, and my outlook has changed a great deal. I don't think the school environment would suit my son, I don't really believe in the idea of school at age 5 anyway, and I just think we're better off with what we're doing now.

Jimjams, I do really believe that what we're doing is for the best. I know it's different for you in terms of your ds's difficulties in certain situations. I'm glad it's working out for you, and I hope he continues to enjoy school

anais (sorry, this is a bit off topic I know) - if you're using a blogspot blog, I believe they don't have a comments system themselves. You can use a free third party comments system such as Enetation if you want comments activated (they host the comments on their site). As far as I understand it, it's just a case of signing up then copy and pasting the code into the right place.

P.S. I didn't notice the typo, so it wasn't that glaring - going to scour the introduction now

Sobernow, I can't get the link to work (eek, sorry!) and I can't get the book to come up with a search either. I think I have heard about it - is it a dk book??? I hadn't thought about it actually, but yes, that would be a great resource - I will have to see if I can find it, thanks for the idea

I quite like your vision of school (though I'm not sure I can see it happening any time soon) I think it would be of great benefit to a lot of students. On the other hand, it might allow the less able, or those with parents who didn't value and support their learning, to slip through the net. Although having said that, many vulnerable children do already

Have a look at this

I'm not sure if this is the place, but I also remember seeing an article about a place where the students ran the art department, including working out all the funding and the teachers' salaries and everything

Righto Georgina, just goes to show I have no clue about all things technological. My 5 year old keeps showing me how to do things on the pc that I didn't know how to do! I will check out the site you posted, if it's idiot-proof I might just be able to do it

There have been a spate of nasty comments and trolls plaguing HE'rs, though, so might be asking for trouble

Yes, I have to say comments are a double edged sword at times! The last couple of days, I've been deleting viagra spam off mine... sigh That said though, it is really nice when you've been writing into the ether for a while and then someone you've never met before and wouldn't know you otherwise comments positively on something you've written.

Then of course, you start to get a bit nervous because you realise you have an audience

Good to see you back Anais!

Just been reading some of your comments on HE and just wanted to say that I think you sound like a fab Mum, you put me to shame, the things that you do with your DS sound great. I don't think HE is for everyone but for someone like you who has the drive and motivation I'm sure you will do a marvelous job!

Awww, Demented, it's nice to be back

Thank you. I don't know what to say about all these lovely comments people keep making. I certainly don't deserve them, but you wouldn't believe how nice it is to hear them

Georgina, oh joy, more spam to look forward to! Hmmm, having an audience. Coincidently someone has just posted a comment on one of my email lists (nit-picking about my typos, grrr ) and my first thought was "you mean someone actually reads it????"

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I agree with Dadslib here.
I loved going to school and I would imagine it is important for all children to go to school to gain some form of independence from their parents and make friends (in my case I made friends for life)
Isn't it boring for the children to spend all day with their parents ? I would also worry that the childrens only input would be from their parents and that they would become little "mini-me's"?
How do you make sure children get the opportunity to make friends with others and get the normal experiences such as being invited to birthday-parties and experiencing how everyone's different with different backgrounds and opinions? There are so many things you cannot learn from books.....

I hated school - all school - from the day I was dragged kicking and screaming through the school gates at age five (still a vivid memory!) to the day I left at 17 (to go to 6th form college). Hated the stupid, arrogant, rude and sometimes nasty and sadistic teachers (sorry teachers - that was my experience of about 80-90% of mine), hated being told what to do and made to play stupid team games in the cold when I wanted to sit and read a book, hated idiotic, pointless school trips, hated the ridiculous, uncomfortable and ugly uniform, hated the building, the work that either was way below my ability or silly (needlework and ping pong - I ask you!) or never properly explained. Before I went to school I had been to art galleries and the theatre, I could read fluently and had friends of all ages, from toddlers to ten year olds. Suddenly I was stuck with a lot of people my own age (you don't learn anything like as much from you own age IMO - from little ones you learn compassion, patience and kindness, from older ones you learn new skills), one teacher, who had no time for individual attention, in a boring old classroom being given 'reading' books instead of novels. I can perfectly well see why people home educate. I think Anais's son seems to be benefitting from exactly the same kind of 'regime' that would have suited me. By the way, I was never bullied and I had friends, indeed my 'best friend' to this day was someone I met at age 11 at school, but I think I could have made friends just as easily in a drama group or something. However, my stepdaughter really likes school and loves her schoolfriends. I think the success of HE must depend on the child. I also agree that school before age 7 seems to have absolutely no long term benefits, and indeed, the potential to cause lots of long term damage. I just don't think formal education ever suited me - I even loathed every day of university! But I loved going to work - more interesting people of different ages and backgrounds, have something 'real' to do with proper deadlines, doing something that other people really valued and getting some money at the end of it. Now, that's what I call worthwhile!