Teen Eating Disorders Thread 4

[SoTiredNeedHoliday]

Starting a new thread, no 3 is full

@Bettybarkalot123 I'm having the same issue. We are two weeks in to a strict 3 meals and 3 snacks and no exercise and still no gain. I feel constantly guilty that I'm not getting enough calories into each meal. At this point, I'm going to have to up portion size and she's not going to take that well.

@DarkBlueEyes well done for asking for help from the GP for yourself.

You are not failing your DD, you are not an awful person, you are doing your best in the face of a seriously vicious illness.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies that is the same approach I am taking, I am so anxious about it though as it will take time to see if she is or isn't doing as requested.....

@DarkBlueEyes you haven't failed as a mum or as a human. If the carers of ED patients are brutally honest we've all thought awful things because we are stressed / anxious/ bewildered and confused. It feels like we're powerless against this gigantic ED monster. But we are not (it's your DD that is powerless against the ED), we just have to keep chipping away.

Think of those Russian dolls, the voice should be the tiny doll, something that questions very quietly and your DD is the biggest doll in control of her life. However right now the voice (ED) is the biggest doll and your DD is the powerless one she's the tiny doll.

As carers, everything we do is working to get the voice to go back to being tiny and for our children to be in charge again and be the biggest doll.
I hope the DR takes your request seriously and is forthcoming with solid help fast, be that meds, emergency therapist sessions or a combination of the two.
Stay strong and know you're not alone.

Just caught up with the thread. You're all amazing and you are winning, you know. Even if it's just one more crumb eaten, it's a step forward.

DD1 had a dental appointment today and the dentist was so lovely. She has an interest in EDs and was really discreet in asking me for a word and giving me advice on dental health if DD1 purges. She doesn't, but it was so kind of her to take that time. She recommended a charity called Taste Life.

Hi everyone

Just wanted to drop in to say hi and thank you all for supporting and encouraging me in what I would have to say is/were the darkest hours of my life - divorce and death has nothing on EDs!

I have today taken my first Sertraline tablet and I hope that will help.

DD went out yesterday (rocky start with breakfast and lunch) and ate well at her friends - which shows she CAN do it. She was very down when we picked her up and said she feels guilty eating. I tried to explain you can't feel guilty for fulfilling a need to stay alive like breathing. I just keep repeating it.

Anyway, this morning (DH at work today) she ate a bagel thin with butter and marmite (butter well melted so she couldn't scrape it off, though she did try), three strawberries, four blueberries and an actimel. I know it's a pathetic amount of food but I've told her at this stage we are focusing on her behaviour around food and that I will replace food that is thrown on the floor (which I did yesterday and it did get eaten). Hardly anything on the floor, we were calm and there was no bizarre behaviour.

She's also had a packet of iced gems and a juice for snack and that was similar - though how the AF you can take four bites to eat a mini iced gem I do not know. She has another therapy session today and her PT so she has to eat all her lunch to be able to do it - I know she loved it and wants to do it as she wants an amazing body.

Also I have measured her and she has grown which I am hoping is a good sign.

I'm trying to be calm and positive despite feeling so scared, and we are love bombing her as much as we can. Could there be a chink of hope there for me? I feel if we can change her behaviour at meal time we can gradually increase her portions without her noticing it. Maintaining is the goal right now and once she is calmer we can work on gaining. The stupid thing is I know her ideal restored weight is 50kg but if she could get to 47/48 and eat normally then I would be ok with that. A few weeks ago she was 44.5 and so close, now she's slid back to just under 43 it's so much harder as she'll have to regain that amount.

Much love to you all.

@DarkBlueEyes sertraline has been great for me...the first week was tough with side effects but they do pass, hopefully you won't get them, but it's worth trying to power through if you do.

@Mogtheanxiouschat what side effects did you get? No one has mentioned that to me at all!!!

@DarkBlueEyes please don't be put off. I had stomach cramps and a head ache. Absolutely worth it though, I haven't had a single panic attack since and I'm generally in a much more positive mood.

Well I'm
In for a treat. DD has run away before dinner is even cooked saying she doesn't want it.

Not sure if I'll get any food into her at all but I'm going to try.

How did dinner go @DarkBlueEyes?

We’ve had a not so great day. 2nd appt at ED clinic and DD has lost another 0.5kg in a week even though she’s been trying to eat more.
She has to attend the clinic weekly they said and she absolutely has to have put weight on by next week.
I was hoping she’d be a little better before school starts again but I just can’t see it.

@SnitchyBitch my DD is struggling to gain weight too. She’s been doing so well and eating well. Think the loss this week was just because different scales were used (last week in gp surgery this week at ED clinic).
Trying to focus on how she is in herself not just her weight. She has definitely been happier this week and less distressed after her meals and snacks.

@DarkBlueEyes I'm glad you've asked for help for you. Does your dd know?
Didn't you say that if there were any more incidents you would go to a&e? Have you needed to use this threat?

Hi everyone, I'm a bit of a lurker on this thread, and the previous one and it has been an amazing source of comfort in that I feel like I am not the only person going through this. Thank you to all of you supporting your kids and each other.
I just had a question that I wondered if anyone else had experienced and had any advice? My dd (16) had started to lose a considerable amount of hair; she is doing really well by and large after diagnosis in March, but I am so worried about the hair loss as I think if it continues to get worse, it will affect her education next term if she refuses sixth form
She is eating but will only follow a vegan diet.
Does anyone have any words of wisdom? She is waiting for bloods to come back to check if its a nutritional deficiency or whether its anxiety related.

Hi @Eastisup I don't know much about hair loss in relation to ED's specifically but I'd be wanting to check her ferritin levels if she's losing hair. Partic if she's vegan, I'd be getting all her vitamins and minerals checked.

Just seen you're waiting for bloods... Obviously didn't read your message properly

Hi @Eastisup - I seem to recall a support worker saying to us that hair loss is amongst the last things to stop and reverse. My DD started recovery in March and certainly hasn't yet replaced lost hair. But do of course get it checked out if you're worried.

Dd had a bad night last night - some of her anorexia sensations (fat literally folding on her) are back in force. We anticipated that September would likely be a wobbly time and expected (but hoped against) a relapse..

Part of the challenge at the moment is she's not eating on the normal schedule because she's at work (bar/wait staff so different hours each day) and she's having to eat whats available (which the ED won't like). But being at work gives her such a massive mental health boost that would be jeopardised if she stopped - GAH!!

Thank you @Mogtheanxiouschat and @myrtleWilson I've just spent an hour on hold in the queue for her blood results!
Folate and ferritin levels normal apparently although ferritin is 21 and the ' normal' range is huge so I don't know whether this is low or not really. Some problem with her liver result so she has to have another appointment with a doctor to discuss this, but getting information is like getting blood out of a stone there! Apparently the result was 'out of range' !I don't know what that means!
Maybe it's all the vegan cream I've been hiding in her porridge and hot chocolate has given her a fatty liver

@Eastisup hair loss can be a symptom when ferritin drops below 50. Certainly true for me, and mine is around 24.

GP's are not always clued up on vitamins.

@Mogtheanxiouschat oh that's useful info to know thank you! Yes, it does seem low to me, Our Dr. is lovely generally so I'll talk to her about it when we go to investigate the liver function issue. Thank you.

Sorry everyone is having such a hard time. DD1 is still ticking on at around 54kg. She seems to be able to maintain on 3 meals, occasional snacks, so it's a bit easier to keep her in range if she's not 'feeling it'. I'm still having to insist on every meal though

Hi quick sign on, we survived the wedding and had a good time for the most part. Dds been up and down but overall coped okay.

East do you give your dd a good multivitamin? Did the being vegan coincide with the ED? I think low b12 levels can be linked to hair loss, also thyroid and hormonal issues. Get the ED clinic to check the blood results as they see things the normal GP might miss.

Hi all quick check in. To those struggling- big hugs. It’s an awful illness that takes so much out of the carer. I just know that every day if you take a little step they will all eventually add up and you will get to a better place. Not ‘back to normal’ but better and more manageable. It happens very very slowly and accepting that is key. And the fact that you can only do your best…
Things are ok here. We saw psychiatrist on Tuesday (another new one- our 3rd…) and had DD weighed and measured for first time in ages. She has grown 3.5cm since April which is just brilliant. Weight stable at 47.65kg. I have not even worked out her wfh…. She wants to consider moving her from olanzapine to an anti anxiety med (sertraline I think she said) but gradually.
We are plodding through the therapy work. It’s like pulling teeth but slowly I think she is starting to see that some of it could help her. I am certainly trying to employ the strategies with her.
She went to her residential Arsenal tournament last weekend, she managed food OK (I think) but was a mess emotionally. We had streams of messages. I used the strategies a lot tbh! But the mere fact she went when she knew no one really, with no kit, and straight from our holiday is a win in itself.
Unfortunately she hurt her right wrist in the penultimate match. So we spent Sunday eve in A&E and it is fractured. Further 6 weeks of no contact sport. Which is a massive blow.
And now with 2 fractures in 3 months everyone is worried about her bone density so I need to fight with GPS to get bloods done and they are trying to organise a dexa scan for her, the psychiatrist is also worried about her period still not starting (she has never had one) and so she wants hormone tests and a pelvic scan.
And so it goes on…..

Hope the scans are ok lotts. When your dd resumed exercise, how did the weight do? I've told dd she needs to eat more to compensate but how much more I'm not sure?

I think the exercise vs food is a really tricky balance but what I've found is that the more dd does the less she wants to eat. It's almost as if she doesn't want to waste the extra exercise by eating more. I will be watching her next week like a hawk but as she will be eating as part of a group I think she'll eat to fit in, a bit like at school. I will be insisting on a big afternoon snack (the club finishes at 2pm.)

She coped with staying at the hotel and with the hotel breakfast. She had granola and a pancake the first morning and 3 crumpets Ystd morning. I had to insist on butter on them but overall she did okay.

The wedding day was okay although she missed afternoon snack as so much going on and the dinner (compared to normal) was a small portion. I think she was hangry in the evening and was definitely flagging but refused any of the evening buffet.

Will be a quiet wend now.

Hi @Girliefriendlikespuppies yes, the ED really kicked in at new year starting with Veganuary . She admitted to restriction over the previous year a bit but the Vegan thing really caused it to snowball.
She has considered eating an egg recently but when the push came to shove, she couldn't do it.
She has gained and maintained more or less since May but there are more and more tantrums and panic attacks. Period has returned thankfully although I expect to be intermittant for a while.
Glad to hear your dd has coped with a wedding. I have got vegan multivitamins and a vegan vit and mineral spray but she is reluctant with these too.
Thanks for the input everyone, it's really helpful.

So sorry about your dd's wrist @Lottsbiffandsmudge, hope the scans are ok.