#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 12

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New thread, hope you don't mind I started a new one Kwick

I'm on day 5, Lovely, and driving myself nuts exactly as you are! I've had nagging pains which I guess COULD be implantation but knowing my luck is probably just the cyst on my right ovary - it's like a mild cramp or pulling sensation on the right side.

Two weeks seems like an interminable wait - I keep thinking I should test a couple of days early, because there should definitely be enough hcg to detect at that point, but then I have a superstitious feeling that I'll jinx myself if I go against what the clinic said . . .

One thing that does become clear as I read over everyones' experiences is that IVF is a series of minor miracles - even getting to the 2WW needs so many things to go right. So I feel thankful for getting this far and I'm cheerleading for all you ladies x

I did my normal meds and trigger on same day as trigger is timed very precisely so should have given a time for this based on when you are having the iui done

Good luck everyone (sorry finding hard to keep up with everything) x

Hi Sally welcome. I had medicated and work on healthcare so needed to control more when cycle was. So yes I was put on either microgynon or northesterone to alter when af was slightly then control within reason when iui would be but iui itself does depend on how you respond to the cycle/ medication throughout the cycle

Hi sally :)

Pickle how is it going with your Gorgeous mini pickle?

Clinic rang to change my time for follicle reduction tomorrow it will now be same time as iui but what if you already ovulated by time they do iui clinic said you would be very unlucky if that happens has any one had this happen guessing that would mean cancelled cycle?

Yeh I was able to pre plan a few scans first and rough pattern of what would need and organised this with work/patients. But if you can work this with school holidays then even better

Ttc hope reduction goes ok 😘
Mini pickle is so good, we are currently feeding on the sofa (im feeding myself crisps whilst feeding her-got to keep strength up and all 😂

Welcome sally! My scans have all been quite unpredictable, so have had to take relatively short notice leave - luckily clinic is reasonably close - my close colleagues knew which made things easier as well. Did feel quite guilty having to shoot off at busy times though...
Glad mini pickle is doing well...!
ttc I think the meds you're on makes it very unlikely you've ovulated but guessing it would cancelled if you had - good luck!

Thank you 😊 family are about an hour a way but friends locally and have made good friends from here who are also single mamas.
No one has stayed overnight (except my auntie recently visiting) or done anything really physically to help but mental support has been more help- just knowing someone is there to ask questions to or be going through similar

So I have been trying to save as much as possible whilst I was still at work and while still on full pay on mat leave and worked out how much I'll need to pay bills/mortgage etc when only on statutory etc

At the mo I don't know what hours I'll be doing when back at work as can't finalise till bout 8wks before mat leave ends but I researched nursery and hope to go back 4days a week so can still pay bills etc as much as I'd only like to go back 3 days a week I've got to be realistic and this is the same challenge whether single or in a relationship
So def recommend looking at budgets and save save save
And reading between the lines that you work in education at least you won't need to worry about what to do in term time

Oh nice!! Family are funny things eh?! I didn't tell my parents until I'd had my 13week scan so was a bit of a shock but my snob of a mum was more worried that the donor was just someone random (in her words)..a builder or a student who just wanted money and was pleased to find out her dad is a dr with a PhD ( personally I just went for someone with similar colouring and when got extended profile who sounded like a really nice person and the sperm bank spoke highly of him.

Doulas are around £1k. I didn't have anyone in with me just the midwives but I knew I didn't want anyone and felt the same during and after that pleased was just me and midwives
Ummmm I don't know, mini pickle has been a great sleeper since around day 5 so very spoilt but that would probably be hardest thing in the beginning . I've had depression in the past and that has flared up a bit but the baby side of things has been ok and helped as I'd had lots of experience with babysitting about 10 babies over last 11 years so not much was a surprise....just obviously you are the one responsible for them 24/7 and breastfeeding but again she has been very good at that too so adapting to not working and interacting with patients daily etc
Obviously in some ideal world I'd love her to have a "complete" family but for me this was totally the right decision and don't have any regrets and very pro what we are doing.....plus my decision is final in upbringing, won't have to argue with anyone about anything but I do miss having someone to go out with us as feel a bit of a loner when go out just the 2 of us

But any questions just ask away... I'm usually chair bound for good part of day whilst feeding

Hey Sally, I thought I would chip in (I haven't been on this new thread but you might have noticed me on the previous 4 or 5 😉).
I have a nearly 6m old DD and I'm single too. I had a doula with me for the birth. If you look on doula.uk.org (I think), you can find some mentored doulas who are way cheaper than the fully qualified ones. My doula was mentored at the time I booked her but she was fully qualified by the time I gave birth and it 'only' cost me £400, so about a third of the regular price for a doula in London. My birth ended up being very medicalised due to pre eclampsia and the need to be induced but she stayed with me the whole time and listened to my rant while giving me back massages and bringing me food.

Like Pickle, I have been ok coping on my own so far. I agree with her, the mental support is so much more important than the physical one - or so I've found (I'm used to doing everything on my own anyway and didn't want people staying at ours), so your phone will be your friend! I also highly recommend doing an NCT course. I meet with my NCT friends at least twice a week and they're great.
I also planned massively, whether it was my finances (visiting nurseries when I was only 6 months pregnant) or batch cooking prior to the birth so that I had ready meals for the first few weeks.

Announcing my pregnancy to work and friends was really easy, no one batted an eyelid and everyone was just so happy for me and offered their support. It's very common now for single women to have children via donor conception and you'll find that a lot of people will say 'oh I know someone who did the same'

To echo Pickle, just ask anything you need to know. I got pregnant on my first ivf cycle after 3 failed IUI (non medicated). The clinic was very close to work so I just nipped out at lunchtime or faked an errand and no one suspected a thing.

Waves to everyone (and wink to redpanda whom I spoke to on other thread today 😉)

Am now officially in tww! Had follicle reduction and didn't feel a thing it was all so quick they left two one that was there and think the other had already ovulated or started to go to tube or something not really sure but crossing my fingers the next two weeks fly by! X

Really glad it went well ttc, fingers crossed!!!
Really interesting to hear how you're getting on pez and pickle, my family and friends are really supportive and excited which is great but worry I will still feel quite isolated and go a bit stir crazy from lack of adult contact day to day - that's if all this works of course!!

Sally, doulas normally offer a birth package which includes 2 visits to prepare the birth and one after the birth. They go on call from week 38 and stay with you throughout your labour. I sent mine back home one night as it took over 3 days for my baby girl to be born and there wasn't much she could do on the second night. They are very good at adjusting to any situation and more importantly they remain calm while we don't!

I am going back to work in 5 weeks 😭. DD will be exactly 7 months then. I'm going back full time as her nursery costs are high but I know she'll be really happy there and we all have to go back at some point. Before I got pregnant, I worked on a 5 year plan spreadsheet to see if this was financially viable. I knew I would have a bit of a gap in my budget for the first year so I saved to cover this and then I factored in the 30 free hours of childcare from the month she's 3 years old until she starts school. It can seem extreme but I just had to make sure we would be fine before even trying to conceive. It turns out I spent much more money on fertility treatment than I expected, hence why I'm going back to work after 7 months off but it's fine.

About people who might not understand or be supportive: don't worry about them because you'll just ignore them and I'm sure you'll make lots of wonderful friends during this journey. From the day I made my decision to have a baby I stopped stressing over silly things and I'm a much happier and poised person - and a good mum I like to think.

Lovely, are you doing an NCT course? If so, you definitely won't feel alone. There are also lots of local mums groups on Facebook. I discovered a whole new world while being off on maternity leave. The streets, parks and cafes are full of mums and babies during the day and there are so many activities to cater for this crowd. We do baby yoga, swimming classes, play dates, nursery rhyme time, picnics in the park, etc. You'll also meet other mums at the breastfeeding cafes and pretty much anywhere you go. I felt much lonelier before as I wouldn't talk to random people as often as I do now. With a baby everyone talks to you and I also find myself just chatting or singing to DD in the street and it feels completely natural.

I think you're meant to ask MNHQ if you want to do this sort of thing? I'd be wondering who 'we' is. Sorry if I sound hostile, but this doesn't really sound like 'full disclosure' and I'm not very keen to give you details if I don't know anything about who you are or what you might be up to.

Oooh what was the post that was deleted?
Sounds like you sussed it out being weird

I reported it as well. I don't know if I am allowed to say or if mine will get deleted for talking about a deleted post LOL

😂

It wasn't that interesting Pickle. Let's just say they were looking for volunteers .

So my clinic has just phoned. I was due tonight for my down regulation scan but had to cancel as my period hasn't come (day 28 when I normally have a 21 day cycle). But our donors period has come early and shouldn't have yet!! So mine hasn't come and should have and hers shouldn't have come but has!! You can't make this up!!

We had three options, cancel and go back to matching for a third time, go ahead and freeze eggs and fertilise later or go ahead and freeze embryos. We've gone for the third option. The success rate of defrosting embryos is higher than defrosting eggs and we know exactly what embryos, what grades they are etc.

It's complicated stuff this isn't it!!!

Thanks pez for that reassurance!!
A doula sounds like a good option as the only other person I'd want there is my sister who lives about 4hrs away with 2 kids so prob wouldn't be able to make it down at short notice... or maybe just stick with the midwives...and cross fingers I get a nice one?!!
But getting way ahead of myself - still only on day 5 of tww - it's dragging so much!!