#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided. All welcome. Thread 12

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New thread, hope you don't mind I started a new one Kwick

How are things @Mandy002? Hope you are doing ok x

Hi @Mandy002, thinking of you. Hope you're okay. X

Hi Mandy hoping you’re coping ok at the moment. Thinking of you xx

I've been better but thank you for asking and checking in guys. My family and friends have been amazing. I'm just totally devastated and crying at the drop of a hat. The clinic dr phoned today and said he thinks that there's something else happening and wants me to have some tests as he can't figure out why with the very best embryo quality and uterus conditions why my body keeps rejecting pregnancies. I need to know what's going on as well. Just for my own piece of mind...even if I can't afford another go for a while. 😢

Sorry forgot to mention HCG went from 3777 to 477 in 2 days! I've deffo lost him/her. 😭

I'm so sorry Mandy. Glad you are getting good support from family and friends.

I'm sorry mandy been thinking about you over the last few days 😪. If you need to chat feel free to pm me. It's such a hard grieving process so make sure you take care of yourself

So sorry to hear that Mandy

Oh @Mandy002 I'm so sorry. I'm glad the doctor wants you to have tests so they'll hopefully work out what's going on. 

@Mandy002 I'm so sorry sweetheart 😘 ask them about killer cells to see whether steroids should be used to stop your body attacking the embryo (it might not be that obviously but worth mentioning)xx

Hi everyone.

TTC using donor IUI as a single woman aged 35. Are there any other single women on here? It can feel quite lonely at times and I've never met another woman in my situation. xx

@ks2teacher2011 Me! 35 in a couple of months, but not starting my IUI journey until the new year. Are you having treatment at the moment?

@AnotherGin yes, I made the decision a year ago and have just had my first insemination. Waiting for the results now. Where are you based?

@ks2teacher2011 I'm in the South West. You? Good luck with your tww, I know how nerve wracking it can be and that's when ttc normally!

I'm in Manchester. Well, I actually live in the Middle East, I'm just having 2 rounds of IUI during the summer holidays. I got my period this morning, so starting round 2. xx

@ks2teacher2011 Sorry to hear that (your period, not Manchester). I keep reading about how the success rates are cumulative, so fingers crossed for second time lucky. X

I was wondering if I could join for some advice. I just went to my fertility consultation and as a 39 year old I have to make the decision to go ahead with donor and probably ivf (as rates are much better)
Single and in London, with no obvious support. My mum lives a few hours away.
Feeling very conflicted about wether I do it or not. And I don’t really have much time to decide according to the consultant.
Cost wise. I can afford the treatment, my mum would pay. But I don’t earn a huge amount or own my own home!
Hoping for some advice if anyone is out there! Feeling very down and sad that it’s this or nothing right now x

Hi @eightfacesofthemoon

I'm not really active on this thread anymore but I didn't want to read and run.
I have an 8m old DD conceived via donor sperm last year. I'm single and live in London with no family in this country so pretty similar to your situation. I'm not going to lie, it is hard money wise and I consider myself lucky enough to have a good salary and an office job with flexible working options. I pay full time nursery, which is around £1,300 a month on top of a high mortgage but if I manage to see us through until she's 3 and can get the 30 hours of free childcare we will be fine.
I did a lot of research and budget planning ahead of conceiving, I checked what benefits I was entitled to etc and have a massive 5 year plan on a spreadsheet. Sounds depressing but I had to know I could make this work before going ahead. I was unlucky to have to spend a lot more on fertility treatment than I could afford but hopefully that won't be your case and your mum will cover the costs anyway.
I'm sure that if you put your heart to it you'll find solutions. Maybe a loan from your mum that you can repay once your DC starts school? Or is moving out of London an option? Also, plenty of parents rent their home, a mortgage isn't a mandatory thing so don't worry too much about this.

Don't feel too pressured by what the consultant says. Did they give you actual facts / numbers? Private clinics are money making machines and from experience they don't look out for their patients' best interests -unfortunately. A few months of planning and saving are unlikely to change your chances at conceiving.

Good luck with your journey. Whatever the struggles it's still 100% worth it!

Hello ladies, hope everyone is well

( Mandy really sorry to hear your news- glad your doctor wants tests to help understand what is happening; be kind to yourself during this period and do what suits you and will make you feel better - if that is the right word)

Hello pez and pickle xxx

So if anyone has read through the old threads you may remember I had non medicated iui at lWc with London sperm bank sperm and conceived after second try.

My little boy is nine months tomorrow ( yes pickle is right time flies) and I'm now looking to try again for baby number two.

I hope people don't mind me re-joining this thread. I just feel I've forgotten all the advice I was given last time and I think I will need support again! Especially during twot!

As I moved out of London and up to Liverpool I am going to the Hewitt fertility centre and having the soerm from the same donor transferred up.

Some things are different already; this clinic accepts blood tests under two years old so that's saved me some money already! ( LWC ad to have blood tests with in the three months prior to starting treatment ) 2) they seem a lot more relaxed about my bmi, me having non medicated iui, not going in for scans prior to insemination as I've had a baby already 3) I had private counselling and lwc accepted this when I said . The Hewitt wang proof I have as set it as requirement if use donor sprerm
Need implication counselling. I don't remember who I used so waiting for their counsellor to get in touch with app so can tick box.

I really wanted to try this month ( or confirm this month when period starts , ovulation with be mid sept) but I think will depend on this counsellor which is a bit annoying.

I'm trying to rack my brain to remember the optimum time for insemination following iui.
( pez/ pickle if either of you read this do you remember? I'm sure someone had a chart?? I remember I based when to go into clinic based on our discussions on this thread. I've tried googling to find our conversation but might have to go through all the threads to find that bit)

So that's me and I feel as nervous / excited/ fretful as first time. My Brain and logic tells me unlikely to happen first time but I can't help hope. My brain also tells me this time I won't test until 14 days post iui though my heart already laughing at this!
My brain also has moments it questions this is right but my heart and ovaries defo taking over this decision!

Welcome to the thread Laura and Eight. I’m sure people will be along who can help you both. I know everyone puts a lot of thought into the donor process. I’m married to my DW and used donor sperm from Cryos which as expensive but very quick and easy. I’m having treatment privately so can’t comment on the nhs process, timelines and donors. laura is direct retrieval not an option for your DH? I know one couple who retrieved sperm this way where the DH has azoospermia but appreciate it doesn’t work for everyone.
Welcome back treasure I read all about your journey before starting my own and it gave me so much hope. Good luck and fingers crossed for treasure no.2
AFM I had my egg collection today which was done under general and went very well. Fingers crossed with get some to freeze as it a freeze all cycle!

Hi @laura207 yes we went straight to IVF as we’re a same sex couple. My DW wants to carry an embryo created from my egg so we had no other choice! It’s was good news for us today in we had 11 eggs collected yesterday, all mature and 9 fertilised over night. We don’t get another update til day 5 so it’s going to a nerve racking few days to see if we have any blasts! I’m relieved as I’m over 40 so wasn’t sure how it would go.
There’s so much info out there you must end up so confused. Good luck with the consultant I hope it goes well. A friend at works brother has azoospermia (NO) like your DH and they decided to to use a donor and have a lovely little boy, I can’t imagine they could love him more, the father and son are inseparable. It’s so cute. Are you allowed to buy/bring your own donor sperm in or are you not allowed to do that with NHS treatment and if so would this speed things up for you? When are you getting the genetic results back did they give you any idea of timescale? It probably seems like time is dragging but I found the IVF part super quick once it happens (I’m on the short protocol though). Good luck with everything.