Sorry, edited to make sense:
user1506254758 hi. I get this is a big topic! And you clearly have a lot going on in your life. pickle might be right, you might be entitled to help from the nhs, however I was told that as a single lady I’d get nothing nhs wise, so hope for the best expect the worst from that score.
Now for the scary honest bit: it’s entirely possible that a couple of iuis and bang, it works, without meds, so you just need a few thousand to do that. But that might not happen. I’m 39, I did 3 ivfs with no success. That was £18k for treatment, sperm and meds. Plus prob £300 for health tests eg amh, hiv etc.
I then moved onto a clinic in athens and moved to egg donor and sperm donor, that was €3k for each transfer, plus another £300 in medication before transfer. The first transfer didn’t work. The second one did, so another €3k plus £300 . Then when I got my positive pregnancy test and up to wk 14 of pregnancy it was another £700 in meds in total.
So 1) you need to save like crazy.
2) you need to budget plan, if you think you’ll need benefit support what does that really mean to you post-baby?
3) you’ll need to have some tests done including Amh for the clinics to get an idea if IUI is even an option for you( it wasn’t for me given my age)
4) be aware that most clinics charge an amount for a consultation, so you are laying out money before any treatment at all.
5) seriously consider if you only have one shot if you want to try with your eggs, or go abroad and look at double donor (where chances of success are higher) this is controversial, but it is an option. It also extends the length of time you have to conceive, so all those actresses having babies at 46, yeah that’s using an egg donor mostly!
So you could have everything you want, but with compromises?
Just some food for thought.
mandy, I apologise, but I cant recall where you are in your journey, so can’t say anything about the spotting, let me know and i’ll try to help. Xx