#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome! Thread #6

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Witch I totally get what your saying. When I told my manager a while back that treatment is coming up she said she was worried about me because what if it doesn't work??!she didn't want this to tip me back into nasty depression and I said "what so I give up now because it might not work?! Well that's failure already, I have to know that I've tried everything because I'll never forgive myself if I don't. Everything in life I've had to work for,& has been hard but it's been so worth it in the end. I've had anxiety and depression since I was about 11, so 2/3rd of my life, I am not a positive "it's going to work kinda person" but pma comes from something my other manager used to say when I was in the blackest whole.
I am a total realist I know the % of it working and I tell myself them everyday cos altho I've been told my odds are 28% I think that is a fab number cos it's better than the voice in my head (no I don't hear voices, just my negative thoughts) that says your not going to succeed in this, your body probably isn't working properly but because this is something I've wanted in forever I continue to fight and try and reassure myself that I've had LH surge every month, I've had a biphasic temperature cycle
I've even started talking To my eggs,saying "come on little guys,we can do this" but I'm not getting excited this'll work but I'm trying to be realistic so it doesn't completely break me if it doesn't work......the end (sorry about the waffle)

I know what you're talking about witch I often flit between pma imagining getting a bfp and a reality check that it may take a while or happen the way I expect. I need that reality to prepare for the months ahead. I was talking to my friend about it last week who she was very excited for me and wondered why I wasn't. It was difficult to explain how I am excited but its also a big unknown and need to be realistic too.

Grrr was meant to get a big chunk of overtime this month but it hasn't been through correctly so I'm £126 down on what I should be. Spent half hour crying-well thanks to that and the pill I've turned into anxious mess again. I've email but it won't get sorted till next month and I'm so OCD it irritates me immensely that it wasn't done right.
With all this going on I need the right money to be coming in so I can pay for the things as they come in. Sorry for the rant 😫😔😭

witch it was a different anaesthesiologist and honestly I think he just gave me less juice than the other guy did! I was awake, but kinda high! But at the end of it I was still able to hop over to the other bed to get wheeled back to the ward. Bounce back afterwards was super fast though.

Stork - what is Duce? I've never heard of it!

Luckily with my job I'm able to work entirely from home (with a little bit of help from one of our assistants who has put together a big parcel of proofs - my London job is as a book editor - to send to me), so I'm able to keep working which is good as I have a project to try to get finished and I think having work to do will stop me going mad. Sitting down is comfortable so I may as well be doing something useful while I'm sitting!

Caution - the scarf didn't help much. My midwife is going to drop off a bit of tubigrip this morning for me to put over my hips.

I ended up feeling rotten (nauseous, drained and clammy) last night. Can osteopathy do that to you!?

Aww pickle thats annoying especially when you have things all planned out.

Hoping - you mentioned that you've got some back issues. I would strongly recommend that you get yourself booked onto a pregnancy pilates course. If you can build up all the little support muscles around your joints and build up a good core this will help to shore up everything around any dodgy joints giving you a better chance of the problems not getting too much worse as you get bigger.

This is obviously in addition to the medical attention you're receiving for the issues.

Kwick - love the wee thread I had this issue stuck in a traffic jam for an hour on the A1 on the way back home after Christmas. It was torture! (but I'm pleased to report that I made it )

Pickle - there, there Give it a few months and £126 will seem like pocket money in comparison to the hideous amount you've spent on the Baby Plan! You kind of become a bit immune to it. I'm slightly to report that I just stuck it all on a credit card which I paid off in full on pay day and using my overdraft.

I don't mind how much money I'm paying out (altho would much rather its cheaper) it's the fact that it's wrong- it does all kinds of funny things to my head cos of the OCD. I so very nearly spoke to her before as we have new secretary saying I should be on different rate but thought nah my OCD can't rule everyone else's life too,she'll know what's she's doing-so didn't and now I'm like arghhhh why WHY 😩 and then have to wait a whole month before it's rectified and hope that it's right that month!!!
I then get worried about how my email came across,whether it was rude etc etc!! Such a pain in the butt!

Hi Calz81 Welcome and I'm so sorry to hear about your still birth. I'm single too, although I have a DD from a previous relationship. I'm about to start my first iui in May!

Welcome Greeneyes!

Witch Can I admit I love hearing your thoughts on this? You're very articulate.

I too have discovered a different side to myself with this but I definitely did with motherhood as well. I've started meditating and eating better and its making a huge difference.

Have lovely days ladies!

shoes did I say Duce? When? My predictive text may have changed a word! Crumbs... ps, hope the tubigrip works!

Reading through your comments I can completely understand what your saying about it not working and being realistic. My fist two iui I was very disappointed they hadn't worked and how I was going to keep finding it? I then put a plan together before my third go to try and raise some money, and it paid off. I was convinced at that time I was probably going to need ivf and gave iui one last chance before going done that road and then I got my bfp. Fab! After losing my boy I was hopeful that I would fall fairly quickly but 6 months and 2 iui back to back it hasn't. I thought I was being realistic at the time knowing it might not work but here now I don't think I was, I think I had convinced myself it would happen as it had once already, and more quickly. I'm now in this place where I'm disappointed in myself and my body for it not happening but not in a depressive kind of way. I'm still very aware that it doesn't always happen. It's a difficult place mentally but with my feet firmly planted on the ground. I am not the dreamer type.
If I was someone who liked and ate just everything I could quite possibly go and get all the foods that could be 'superfoods' for best possible chance but I dont and so just do what I think I'm doing best, eating fruit with out going mad and set off ibs, taking pre natal vitamins.

Building on witch's post, PMA is of course crucial. But witch you touched on something that is key, the understanding that it may not work. I'm an expect the worst hope for the best type of girl usually, and really have to concentrate on my PMA during the ivf process.

However, after another bfn this morning (yes I'm only on 8dp3dt) so it's still really early, I'm currently reading about ivf and egg donors in Cyprus...... #gottahaveaplan

Hey Pickle - that's so annoying about the money I'd be fuming! I'm sure the email was fine! :-)

Stork your post on Mon 20-Mar-17 14:39:52...

I thought it might be a miracle cure I hadn't heard of! What did you mean?!

Its too early to be disheartened by your BFN Stork so fingers crossed its just a matter of a couple more days. Its never a bad thing to plan the next step though

ha ha ha shoes that was supposed to say would the induce! not use Duce! #typingfail

EDIT! ha ha ha shoes that was supposed to say would they induce! not use Duce! #typingfail

seriously #canttype

Did anyone see if the OP of the other thread managed to pee before it got deleted??!! Imagine all those people left hanging.... (including me 😖)

Pickle, the money thing is annoying, especially when it's money owed to you.
I know you probably know this already ( I didn't when I started so might as well share) but there will always be costs you haven't planned for when you start the IUI process. It's likely consultants will want to check your hormone levels regularly and those blood tests are soooo expensive... and then theres always a bit more meds here and there...

I didn't like the fact that my clinic wanted me to pay for the ivf cycle upfront even before I got my beta result for the previous cycle I'd done with them (where did they think I was going?!) but in the case I had to cancel it they had 28 days to refund the money. WTF

I also shameless can say that I'm sticking some of the costs on my credit cards and plan to repay them when I borrow money for my house extension (I might need to wave goodbye to my orangerie roof if my ivf cycle doesn't work 😩). On the other hand, I'm not spending ANY money on anything else at the moment so I don't feel too guilty about it...

Pez - Why did they delete it!? Yes, she did. And she even posted a photo of the ground post-pee to prove it

Thanks pez yes they've already told me about additional meds and aspirations if needed. They don't do blood tests during cycle only scans at my clinic so fingers crossed I'm aware of a everything now after my nurses appointment

So glad she peed - wonder why they deleted it?

Why did they delete the peeing thread?! I was hoping to read more of it tomorrow before my surgery... 😣

Anyone else use hotmail? Has ur account gone down?

Pickle I've not used hotmail in years, haven't tried so don't know. Has that just happened?
I read the peeing one too, thought it was funny and glad there was a relieved outcome! 😊
Caution, what surgery are you having? I'm sure it will be fine and wishing a quick recovery

It was down for 3hours but back up now-phew :)