#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome! Thread #6

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

I was told to 'take it easy' and everything I read online says the same. I still walk about 40min everyday and carry my groceries home but that's about it. Mentally I feel like nesting and looking after my dear follies . Bought plenty more fertility food over the weekend and have doubled my daily intake of CoQ10. Not sure it will help but it makes me feel better to try...

This article is quite good http://www.ncfmc.com/ivf-and-exercise-6-tips-for-a-successful-and-healthy-pregnancy/

Interesting read, thanks. I think I can manage most of those. Work will be a juggle but they have a policy in place for women going through ivf so I should be ok fingers crossed.
As for the diets I will have to look into. Not many foods I actually like so that's going to be a challenge and what's CoQ10?
You've all be so helpful already, thank you.

I had a scan this morning, and if anyone is thinking of trying to circumnavigate Manchester on the M60 during rush hour, let me suggest you try to avoid it - almost two hours for a journey that normally takes 30 minutes, and I have to be there again for 7:15 on Wednesday morning.

I was all set to have the extraction on Wednesday, but now they want to wait until Friday - two more days of injections (and extra £££s) when I'd originally expected it to be Monday or Tuesday. I spent most of the journey home trying not to cry, but feeling much calmer now, especially as the lovely friend who will give me a lift is also here on Friday. I'm going to focus on the fact that they know what they are doing and this is giving my eggs the best possible chance.

Ah, ok, that says to keep to less then 4 hours a week - I'd struggle to fit more than that in anyway!

With the diet stuff I think if you want to do absolutely everything possible then there is a huge list of things you can eat or avoid. I took the view that I have a healthy varied diet anyway and I didn't change anything about it. After all, women routinely get pregnant without changing their diets. Other people might worry about it more and so perhaps changing would be better for them - I suppose it depends on how you feel about it. Likewise with complementary therapies (and there is also the question of what you can afford).

I terms of preserving your sanity I think it's unhelpful to believe that by doing everything right you will get pregnant, because then if you don't it's like a personal failing. I think because doing IUI/IVF vs conceiving naturally gives you control over part of the process, it gives you the illusion of more control than you actually have. There is always something else you could have done in terms of medication, one more cycle etc etc. I think that's what drives people mad!

Late that sounds stressful. I used to have to drive to Manchester from Birmingham and I remember there was no way to miss both rush hours! The delay until Friday is a good thing though if they need a bit more growing time? I think one of my cycles ended up taking slightly longer than initially expected and it went well when it came to it. It's good that your friend will be there, nicer to have someone with you.

Calz, co enzyme q10 has been linked to fertility but in no way something mandatory. And the stuff is expensive too 😖

Late, I think that's good they're giving a couple more days for more follies to reach maturity. Did they give you numbers? Fingers crossed for egg retrieval, I'm likely to be only a few days behind you (Tuesday next week)

Been to the doctors - Kwick, it turns out they dont do frequent flier points, how rude - and they said it was stress-induced pompholyx eczema! Well done Pickle, you were right! I'm so relieved because they said in now way shape or form should it stop my surgery on Wednesday (arghhhh ) and they've given me steroid cream to help it along. Said if it hasn't cleared up after seven days to go back... Don't think I will though, now I know it's "just" eczema (not downplaying it, but would rather it be eczema than HFMD)!!

Late, I'm glad someone's going to be there with you. I know it's disappointing but you're right, they know what they're doing! Try not to feel too disheartened

Shoes sorry you're struggling so much with your pelvis. Have you tried the belt/scarf? Has it helped? I'm glad your parents will be there to help out with things, there's nothing like having your parents about! Hoping your pain eases off soon!

Kwick how've you got on today? Hopefully you found the day manageable x

Good news re your surgery Caution.

Calz in terms of rest I think when it was discussed previously we all pretty much agreed you need to have nothing else planned for the day of egg collection. I did do other stuff in the afternoon/evening but out of necessity rather than it being ideal. It didn't do me any harm but it would have been easier not to.

When I've been going through the iui I had exactly that mentality that women fall pregnant on worse diets than me. I think for me with ivf it Woukd more about being able to keep my energy levels up to face what the body will be put through.
I think I'll be passing on the CoQ10 then.

I've also just told my Nan and Grandad about not going to Australia...!!!!!

(Sorry to barge in again, )

Late sorry your scan didn't lead to what you wanted but you'll soon be there with nice juicy eggs, just keep swimming sweetie x

I have ibs too, not looking forward to those side effects-will need to get some peppermint cordial in in preparation

I barely exercise these days so I won't have a problem resting 😂

Haha I am so good 😇 glad it was that caution :) I see a fair bit of pompholyx in my job and a couple of friends have it so thought that's what it looked like. Steroids usually work quite quick but it can re flare up so try and keep stress down

Ooh how did the take it caution?

witch yes, it really is a case to each her own, what is deemed unhelpful to some, is uber helpful to others as coping mechanisms. As I said it's a very personal journey, which I see as a bunch of hurdles, or gates to get over.
I have found that doing the things I do focuses my mind on anything other than lamenting the lack of baby, I prefer practical action I suppose! And I also don't wish to think 'I wish I had done x, y or z' so when my last round failed I didn't see it as a personal failure, i did everything I could to get successful result, but that wasn't my baby, so onto the next round.

Doing ivf I actually feel I have very little control, outside of which cycle to start the meds on, that's it!

caution how went it?

late wishing you many a juicy follicle!

calz MC was in early Feb, about 6 weeks ago.
I have found IVF more intense than IUI - the meds bit was fine but I really do not enjoy the egg collection bit - I really do not like having to walk into theatre, have loads of people see my fat bum, then have a scan and then be put under.
I am 42, the last time, consultant advised on medicated IUI - as odds shorten as you get older for IVF and get closer to IUI success rates.
Fricking hate the canula they stick in your hand too!
You only really need to rest up after egg collection due to general anaesthetic. Otherwise you should follow my "patent pending" 2WW tips.

late keep up the PMA!!! You are in perfect time

pez how much co-enzyme q10 are you on? The ones I get (from Amazon) are not expensive at all.
Have you looked into DHEA?

caution sorry to hear about delay to op.
I struggled to the Post Office with one crutch and a load of packages - but am still alive!
How comes no Australia?

Pickle, you thought well!! I smiled to myself when the nurse practitioner told me and thought of you! I do keep popping up in new spots/rashes/blemishes but I think it's because Wednesday is only a day away. 😣

So, basically, Nan was fine! So was my Grandad! They told me it was completely fine, and that they'd just go in a few years, and would happily let me and my child tag along... If this process works for me, that is! They just said they'll do their bathroom up instead with the money they were going to use with going to Aus, and re-save for a few years time (my Grandad still works as an engineer). I'm shocked with how well they've taken it, and we're even talking about possible baby names. A bit forward, but I weren't one to shut down conversation when they were so positive about it! Another weight off my mind

Kwick - glad you're still alive!

That sounds great @caution . Nice to have grandparents on board!

Can't wait to try kwick tww guide

Caution glad they took it well, so r they now not going either? Roll on the summer for u then. Let us know how wed goes

I have a feeling this week is going to be pretty crap, 1 lady is on annual leave, the other has sickness and diarrhoea and the other has a death cold...I am the only man standing 😫 (not that I want to be ill but this is going to be crap) 4 days left to survive until another weekend....

Ladies if you want a laugh may I suggest this thread?

I am on a train, four stops from home and I am literally about to piss myself.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2882998-i-am-on-a-train-four-stops-from-home-and-i-am-literally-about-to-piss-myself

Oh jeez I got stuck when they shut the m25 cos of snow-took me 10hours to get home. Didn't pee the whole time, thought my bladder was going to explode but was too scared to get out the car in case I injured myself or was raped or the road suddenly opened. Now when weather bad I take a Tupperware box just in case 😂

Thanks Munro & Pickle!!

Pickle, I'm not sure. They did say they were uming & ahing about going but were "going for me" but I don't believe that's true at all, although I think Nan is secretly relieved so she can do her bathroom up! 😂 I know, I'm so excited for summer. I can't wait!
Will let you all know how Wednesday goes when I can - will keep you all updated
Sorry to hear you're short staffed!! Fingers crossed the week goes quick and you can enjoy the weekend

Kwick that thread had me actually LOL - how funny 😂

But she doesn't say whether she made it!!! I'll need to keep refreshing now 😆Hope she didn't fall into a bush or something

I get the coq10 from Boots kwick, and I take 200mg a day so about £30 a month - I guess it's only a fraction of the cost I've just injected in my belly 😉

kwick your clinic does general anaesthetic for EC? Mine does conscious sedation and was aware of the whole thing last time! Different FC procedures I guess.

caution so glad it went well!

Kwick those tips are good and already do some of those. The egg collection part Ive read isn't pleasant but it's got be done. I will def make note of doing nothing else that day.

Caution glad it went so much better than you thought it might!

I don't think I was articulating myself well on the other stuff about what to do or not do. One of the things I have realised about myself during this process is how easily it could become all consuming. It's literally not possible to do everything possible - there will always be more/better/different options, so you have to draw the line somewhere. Maybe "the illusion of control" was the wrong way to put it, perhaps it's more that all the decisions we make are deliberate and explicit because none of us is going to stumble across pregnancy by accident. And because you have to make the decisions, or you are aware of a consultant making choices about your treatment, you think about everything a bit harder. And every decision is the thin end of the wedge - if you're going to try one thing then why not try another?

I read my way through some of the infertility board because, as crass as it might sound, I needed some perspective. There's a thread called Failure Stories which ought to be a mumsnet classic, but for the fact that would seem really intrusive . The premise of the thread is that posters list all the things they have tried which have failed to get/keep them pregnant. What some of them have been through is fucking awful. But it was an eye opener in terms of where people do or don't draw their own lines.

I know this will sound bonkers to the majority of you with your fully functioning PMA but, ironically, quite an important part of my thinking/planning stage was acknowledging that this might not work - that gave me the freedom to try. I'm sure that sounds totally backwards to everyone else, but I mention it just on the off chance that someone else recognises that thinking.

Calz just for the record at LWC during egg collection you literally walk from one room to the next so no parading about in a gown, a lovely anaesthetist knocks you out, and then they get on with the scanning and collecting. It's sedation so not as bad to come round from as a general anaesthetic, but you are not aware of anything.

Stork I was still curious about that last conscious sedation - did they tell you why it was different the second time?

The woman who needed a wee still hasn't updated!