#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome! Thread #6

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Welcome Calz Glad you've found this thread! Sorry that you've been through such a lot and so sorry that you lost your baby boy. I hope that your next cycle is your lucky one.

Kwick - I could go to Bletchley once a week for the next six months and still not get my head around it! Glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels like this about it

Karen - I'm 32 weeks now and LittleShoes seems to be fine thank you Still the wrong way up but otherwise on our most recent scan which was on Thursday, everything looked good. I'm struggling though The problem with my hip is getting worse so I now can't walk, stand or bend down without getting a shooting pain. I'm seeing an osteopath tomorrow so fingers crossed she can do something to help. It's rendered me pretty much useless and I have so much to do!

Hi calz
Welcome to the group!
I think I'm the only one doing iui with the NHS. Me and my DH have waited 3 years for a donor. We start our first iui this month. It's exciting and scary too.
This group is great, a real source of knowledge.
I'm in early 30s, my husband has kleinfelters. Diagnosed 3+yrs ago. Which means he doesn't produce sperm.

I'm worried about doing the opk tests but this group have posted some good photos which will help.
Sorry to hear about your journey. Sounds tough.

Oh shoes that sounds terrible. I hope you get relief soon. X

Welcome greeneyes. Good for you to plan! I sort of felt like I ran out of time and so have been trying to pay as I go. Some of my process has been funded through my health care here in Canada, but I actually had to pay fully out of pocket for my last cycle. It sure does get expensive! It's good to have some money saved up, I think that can take some of the stress out of the process.

Welcome Calz! I'm so sorry about your baby boy and your BFN... I can only echo what other people have said and wish you the best for your next cycle. We're here for support, though!

And Greeneyes, welcome to you too!! We are all very supportive of each other... We've become like a little family some of us are still in the saving up/planning process too (I am!) so you're not alone

Thanks everyone for your kind words re my scabby hands
Pickle, the other symptoms I got were a fever and a bad cold/sore throat/headache about two weeks ago, then about ten days ago I came out in those spots on my hands, some on the soles of my feet and some in my mouth/around my mouth - but not many at all (as you could tell by the pics on the L side) but enough to warrant me going to the Drs and being like "wtf is this!"... But now it's progressed into the pics on the R side, and yeah they are itchy, whereas they weren't before. I've spoken to a nurse in my family and she thinks it's pompholyx eczema too!! She's told me to go and see the nurse tomorrow though to get a cream for it though, to try and clear it up a bit before Wednesday... So back off to the doctors, AGAIN. I'm going to get frequent flier points soon. 😂

Oh shoes you poor thing - is it sciatica? I've got it at the moment and can get very painful when I sit / lie down or bend ( my family are currently helping me dress in the morning) I'm waiting to see muscular/ Skelton consultant. I've had it for 13 odd weeks now and need help with it to strengthen muscles through physio or something as I imagine this will only get worse the bigger I get.

It seems littleshoes seems very comfy where they are! What is the last date that littleshoes has to turn around?

karen how are you doing? When is your next scan I forget?

caution so sorry to hear about your frequent trips to Doctors. I hope they can give you some cream to stop the itchiness xx

Welcome greeneyes I too imagined my life would be a little different but reassessed what I wanted in life after I turned 30 and started saving too! Xx

calz I am single too - I have pretty done all of my treatments back to back (first uncancelled IUI in September 2015) except for after MCs. I am still waiting for AF to appear after second MC.

Welcome @Greeneyes5 !!!

shoes I really feel for you this last week of disability with my leg really has been hard - but at least it is getting better. Your's will too but it must be very tough given nesting instinct! Hope osteopath works wonders (they can).

caution but LOL on frequent flyer points (I actually had a dream about a lovely BA employee allowing me to check in in queue for Gold & Silver members last night).

Struggling to get started this morning... am exhausted. Decided to work from home again... but think I will take it very easy today. I am travelling to Brussels tomorrow... not sure how the fcuk I am going to manage that....

My obstetrics consultant thinks it's PGP (pelvic girdle pain): pelvis loosens in preparation for birth but in some women goes too far and in my case something has gone out of alignment. I'll be interested to see if the osteopath agrees that this is the issue, because I agree with Hoping that my symptoms do seem like sciatica. My parents are on their way down to help me with some sorting etc. in the house because I can't get anything done like this and I don't want baby arriving to chaos!

LittleShoes has until my next consultant appointment on the 13th of April to turn, so a few weeks yet. The advice to turn a breech baby is to keep active so I need this bloody hip issue to piss off!

Welcome to the thread Greeneyes I cross-posted with you last night so sorry if it looked like I completely ignored you!

shoes if I were not "hop-along Cassidy" I would defo offer to come and help!!!
Would it help if we started a petition to have littleshoes turn before 13th?

Hey greeneyes welcome!!

Shoes if you ever need any help just let me know, more than happy to help x sorry the pain has got worse 🙄these are the times that being on own suck

Thanks everyone :-)

I'm doing a bit of an ocd Monica and making notes on everything - trying to work out whats best for my situation and how much I need to save

I've bought a couple of books online but they're really American!

I've learn't the most info from this thread!

xx

Welcome to the new ladies! Mucho support to be found here.

calz Was it you who said you were scared of ivf? Can I ask why? I find peoples views on this fascinating! I didn't even go for an iui, I went straight into ivf, I'm 38 though so my clinic said little point in iui as chances of it working were tiny. And really ivf is super super easy, I've actually found this last cycle a carefree joy!

Maybe if you explored the fear you could debunk it so to speak so if you need it, you can go into it with a positive, clear mind?

Help the is here if you need it.

StorkAhoy, I think I'm worried about when I have to take the cocktail of drugs and how it's going to me feel physically. I hear stories of women feeling drained and exhausted by the effects of it and then there's the emotional side due to the hormones. The injections and the drugs themselves I'm not worried about. It's what they do to you that worries me. I have an appointment for the 30th. Seemsnheyvate super busy so I don't think here will be any treatment this cycle.

Greeneyes5, as my 30's approached I knew what I wanted and decided id do it alone if I had to and so the search began. There was a gap for 2 half years in the search but at 33 it started full swing and I got fully on board with the journey. I though had no savings and gathered whatever I could at the time. I didn't want to wait. I really wish you the best.
Ineednewshoes, congratulations on your little bundle. Was you saying they haven't turned yet? I think there's still time for that to happen. I hope you manage to get some relief from your discomfort. Listen to your body, annoying as it is rest if you need to. Good you have family to come and help you.
Kwick, sorry to hear about your mc. I assume it's recent if your waiting for your af. 🌹

Kwick shoes I'll sign the petition :) xx

calz I understand, however I suggest not listening to stories of how other people found ivf, I did and it nearly put me off. It will be different for you as it isn't the same for everyone.

It depends what protocol you are on. Long protocol is a marathon that takes planning and forebearance and determination and lots of zen! Short protocol is a dance with the fairies, I loved it!

It's like anything especially like reviews on Amazon, those who had a horrible experience of something talk about it loudly. I had no issues with anything you mentioned on either cycle. I got a bit hot and cold on my first cycle, and a bit bloated, but that was about it. I didn't get any more or any less emotional than the ladies doing an unmedicated iui.

Carting around a load of eggs isn't the greatest of fun, but it's for a great cause and my body snapped back very quickly from the drugs and my cycle bounced back to where it needed to be immediately after the first ivf failed.

You'll make your own mind up, I'm simply saying that it's a personal journey, so try not to take other people's worries and fears as your own, and keep an open mind about the best way to get your baby.

Calz I'm also single and have found the LWC great too. I'm delaying because I also want to retrain for a complete career change, hence freezing embryos. Am 37 though so not that much time! I heard there was a support group for single women there, thought I might take part in that once I get going with the embryo transfers.

To freeze embryos you obviously have the first part of IVF up to egg collection. I was also worried but it was absolutely fine. I did two cycles and both times I ended up a bit bloated and with slightly bigger boobs than normal but nothing awful. Had zero effect emotionally as far as I could tell! Certainly within the normal range of how I would feel month to month anyway. I didn't love doing the jabs, but it's manageable. I think the thing to remember is that lots of women are having IVF because they have fertility problems so are maybe undergoing higher doses/longer courses of drugs coupled with the emotional rollercoaster of repeated attempts.

Welcome Greeneyes!

Shoes I hope the osteopath can help tomorrow, your pain sounds debilitating and very frustrating!

Kwick backpack if you've got one, plus encourage offers of help from strangers by looking pathetic with crutches!

Karen is it Friday for your scan? How are you?

Thank you for your support and your offers of help Pickle and Kwick. You're very lovely

I'm hoping that my parents can make some progress with the to do list in the next couple of days and then a friend is lending me her husband to come and do some diy jobs this weekend, so hopefully everything will feel more in control soon.

The jury's out on the osteopath. There certainly isn't immediate improvement, but I'll obviously give it a chance. She seemed as interested in counselling me re various things as she did in sorting my hip out!

My GP has made an urgent physio referral for me so I hope I hear from them soon.

As for LittleShoes turning, baby is having a quiet day so is clearly comfy at the moment!

I hope everyone's Monday is going ok

Hey shoes I'm sorry you're suffering! Are you still able to work, or has this brought forward your mat leave? Would they use Duce if it doesn't get better?sorry if that's insensitive, but I'm really interested in medically what they are doing for you if you are in pain regardless!

I hope you get relief soon! Xx

Witchmountain until now all I had ever heard was how hard it was on ivf. On here and another woman I spoke to have told me it's ok and that she even enjoyed the process so my view is slowly changing. It's not as traumatic as I had Visioned in My head of it. If I do end up on that road I hope it have the shorter or mild/lite one.
There is a support group that meet once a month for women and couples having fertility treatment. The next one is 27th. I've heard there's something for single women but not been down that route yet. i went with a woman who hasn't started her treatment yet of iui and she found it really helpful to meet others already on the journey.

Calz, I think a lot of stress from IVF comes from anxiety linked with infertility; if you think of it, IVF tends to be the last resource for couples who have tried to conceive for years, so it's no wonder the process is so hard. And as witch said, this usually results in much higher doses of stimulation.
I'm on a mild protocol so can carry on working, just need to be careful with no exercise. Tomorrow I'll tell my boss I need to have a small procedure done and need to take it easy the days before and after (I'm lucky enough to be able to work from home). This is mostly because I want to be in the best resting conditions (although I don't know at this stage how I'll feel once I hopefully have lots of follies to carry!)

After 2 days of stims, I feel a bit lightheaded and I'm definitely bloated (but I have IBS so already prone to bloating)

I just think ivf symptoms will just prepare me for future pregnancy symptoms!!

Calz, it's also worth checking the donor conception network (DCN) website as they usually advertise events. I'm not a member but have found interesting information when I started my journey.

Pez I too have ibs! And when you say no exercise?? I've not heard that one. I'm currently not at work but I could be by the time I go for ivf. Is there lots of rest needed? Sorry if I'm asking silly questions. If this is the worst I'm sure I can manage that after already being pregnant.
I have heard of dcn and will join when I have my next baby. I lovely lady I met she's already joined and I will get round to hopefully looknthrougj some of the pack they sent her. Their membership fee is ok but the events can cost quite a bit if I remember right.

I exercised! No one told me not too!

To

Needed a decent sports bra but no worse than pre-period.

calz so there's a lot of varying thoughts and beliefs about in terms of fertility treatments and what you should or shouldnt do, or good/bad things to eat during it...

For example, since starting ths journey I've become a big believer in manifestations, visualisation and meditation. To complement my treatment I have acupuncture, reflexology, reiki and changed my diet to more fertility healthy foods.

I'm also conscious of how I'm feeling while growing my follicles, for example, I don't want anything constricting my abdominal area at all.

Re exercise, many suggest no or hardly any swimming during treatment, others say nothing more than gentle walks during treatment and up to 14wks pregnant as you want your energy to go towards growing follicles then nurturing embryos.... and actually when you start to think about energies etc, that all makes perfect sense!

There's a lot of advice, and you have to do what's best and practical for you. I can work from home, so I've followed my acupuncturists advice and have stayed warm and relaxed at home since my embryos were transferred, but that's not practical for everyone.

The key here is research! Many of us started researching over a year before starting treatment, and I'm sure you are doing the exact same thing.

I'm £14k into this right now and honestly I'll do prettty much anything to up my chances!