#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome! Thread #6

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

I'm determined to get a doula for pre and post birth support - unless I'm completely ruined by the end of this process!

I really wanted a doula Pez and if I had the money (£800ish) I would have. I think for anyone that can afford it who doesn't have a partner it's definitely worth considering. Just to have someone solely dedicated to looking after you during labour would be so reassuring.

If baby doesn't turn I'm heading for a CS anyway, so maybe I'll be glad I didn't pay for a doula (though the support would still be valuable!).

Thanks pickle are you starting in April? Good to share the journey with others.

I will be buying from the European Sperm Bank because my clinics donors had no slots available currently. My clinic has a relationship with ESB though so get extended profiles for free and cheap delivery costs 1 day a week. I like the idea of seeing donor baby photos and hearing a recording of their voice.

I'm due to start IUI end of March/ beg of April Bear and Pickle. So looks like there'll be a few of us being cycle buddies.

stork your picture is amazing! How are you feeling and when do you next have a scan to see how things are progressing? Xxx

shoes fingers crossed little shoes has a change of heart and moves position xx

Funny there is mention of doulas on here tonight. Me and my mum were talking about this today and then started looking at independent midwives (how I wish I could afford one!)

Still musing about doula... my sister had a bad hospital experience so trying to see what I can afford do to make it more calmer / positive.

I had some cramps today and started to get a sinking feeling but they have gone now and I did another pregnancy test and it's still positive so I guess I just still need to wait and see. I have got my viability scan booked for 4th April so not too long to wait. shoes does the fear ever go away?

Hoping - the fear doesn't go away but it has phases of being far more manageable. I think after the 12-week scan most women feel more confident.

I was happy for a couple of weeks after the 12 week scan, then again after hearing the heartbeat at the 16 week appointment. From 20 weeks I felt a lot better about things having had a good anomoly scan and because by then I was feeling the baby move on a daily basis. Most babies settle into a regular pattern of movement from 24 weeks ish so you know they're ok. Mine is a little tyke though and sometimes goes almost completely quiet for a day or two at a time and then I worry again!

I think I maybe worry a bit more than many women because of my miscarriage history and knowing that my three blood oddities all carry their own different risks of complications (my baby already has a letter on my file for immediate referral to the paediatrician to be checked over the day they're born).

My advice is not to Google for information. If you have questions ask your midwife once you're booked in or ask on here. A bit more blissful ignorance would have gone a long way for me I think. From Googling I know that the stats on one of my blood conditions means that even after a good 12-week scan there's still a 20% chance of my baby not making it. I wish I hadn't seen that stat! So I've got more reason to worry than most women.

There's no point worrying all the time. It won't do you or baby any good so generally I've deliberately kept busy and spent lots of time with people who are fun to be around and made the most of enjoying the nice bits of pregnancy like feeling kicks and shopping for baby things etc.

I went on holiday at around 8 weeks and had an absolutely lovely time so I've been pretty good at switching off from pregnancy worries when I've got other things to think about.

hoping well official testing days is the 28th, so if bfp, the scan would be the week after.

I love the idea of a doula, but also like the idea of having a night nanny a few nights a week for the first 2-3 weeks.....

Bear I'm going on mycrogynon pill tomorrow and then first scan is 2nd may then 10th&12th and then iui probably 15th may. I am doing medicated cycle and will find out more tomorrow. Just want to get started

Well AF has properly come now, first time in months that I'm having symptoms too so bit of an achey tummy and serious hot flushes (but that could be cos the hospital is frigging boiling today!!!) but pleased that my little body is working so don't have to lie to the clinic tomorrow.

My best friend had a doula, she found her really helpful and her mother in law paid so that was even better. It's not really my thing, if I'm in pain I prefer to be on my own and usually in the bath, so hopefully want water birth (if ACTUALLY get preg!!!) and happy with midwife being with me when needed. I'll just bring in a DVD player and txt people giving them my orders of they can visit me but only if they bring me home made dinners for the freezer 😂

So many exciting things going on. Can't wait for my appointment tomorrow, hair cut and coloured (feeing guilty about wasting £55 when need it but needs must) in the morning then 1.30 with nurses

Hey ladies! Sorry I've not been active again - I've not been well with hand, foot and mouth 😩 It's never ending at the moment, I don't know where it's all coming from!
Less than a week til my surgery, too... Starting to get seriously nervous, now!

Lots of exciting things have been happening (I've read all the way back!) - I love it when that happens

Stork I'm glad you've had your transfer done - sounds like you've got a good %! I'll have everything crossed for the 28th... Or before, if you're testing before

Karen TWO?! That's amazing!! I'm so glad you managed to hear a heartbeat.

Pickle yay for AF! Good luck with your nurses appointment tomorrow

Kwick sorry to hear about your ruptured calf muscle - ouch! How's it feeling now??

Shoes how's your backside? how's littleshoes doing?

Yay munro all in it together 😄.

Looking like I will be starting in May as well pickle the way cycle and booking consent appointment has worked out. Assuming Hycosy and TSH results are ok I will start letrozole on day 1 of my cycle in May (should be around the 7th) and then IUI will be somewhere between 17th and 22nd I think. Hope nothing comes up to throw it off but will just have to deal with it if it does. Let us know how you get on tomorrow.

caution sounds like you are having a real run of bad luck. HFM disease is not nice, my dad and nephew had it a couple of years ago and they were in a lot of pain with it. Hope you are feeling better now

Thanks Bear. I am feeling better now, thankfully, but have felt rubbish with it the last 4-5 days!

Just wondered if you lovely ladies could have a peak at my OPK... I'm pretty sure it's positive, but nothing like a little clarification, right?! I'm not a dab hand at this like you lot are, but I've decided now is the time to start tracking if I'm going to start in five months time... So - positive, or not quite?

Caution - I'm pleased to hear you're feeling better

In my view, that OPK is not quite positive. You need the test line to be as dark/obvious as the control line and I think although its nearly there, it'll probably be your next test that gives you a firm positive.

Littleshoes enjoyed the check-up today - always wriggly for the sonographer! All is well with baby, but I've been diagnosed with SPD/PGP (basically unstable pelvis caused by the relaxin hormone) which is bad news because it will only get worse until baby is born and today it is very painful. The hobble from the car to my hospital appointment was not fun but I've got some advice which I'm hoping if I follow will see things improve a bit (or at least not get worse!).

Ouch shoes, that sounds painful 😬. Littleshoes is already a little clown, showing off his/her moves to the sonographer 😁

Caution, I'd agree with Shoes, this is not quite there yet but your next one will most likely be a positive.

Just 1 more day to OTD, will I make it this time? Will AF cut the suspense short and show in the morning? Will tomorrow's BBT give the mystery away? Suspense.... tomorrow is the BIG decisive day 😱

Will be good to know either way pez at least u can move on to the ivf and be doing the little happy dance, I find the suspense worse most situations rather than the outcome

Oh no shoes I think there are some specific exercises for that....and is there a support of some kind. My friend at work had it but that was 8 years ago so I can't remember

Caution you really are having a crappy time of it at the mo. Agree with others,not quite positive but nearly there :)

Eek penultimate great pottery challenge tonight 😁

Thanks ladies! Can always count on you to help out I'll do another one in a few hours time and let you know what the result of that one is... Probably doesn't help that I've got dodgy eyesight 😂

Oh Shoes that sounds awful. My ex auntie (uncles ex girlfriend!) had that with my 10 year old cousin - she had to have the belt thing, have you got to have that, too? She said that helped a lot, so maybe it's worth a try? Sorry to hear you're having a crappy time... Pain is not a great thing to have to deal with day in day out!

Pez, I'm in suspense just reading that!! Fingers crossed AF will stay away and will allow you to test, or your BBT will give it away, like you said! Let us know ASAP either way!

Hey caution it's looking pretty close!

pez glad you will know tomorrow!

shoes sorry to hear how you are feeling. I've got bad sciatica at the moment and can really sympathise. Hope it doesn't get any worse.

Gosh it sounds like there will be a few iuis in May I hope people don't mind if I stick around and see how everyone is doing ? You have all been so supportive to me I want to keep in touch and celebrate all your bfps too.

Hey kwick how's your calf? I hope it's not too painful xx

stork I'll have my fingers crossed until the 28th - I still can't get over your picture!

karen hope you are feeling ok xx

Hello to everyone else - it's such a busy thread but I love reading how we are all doing xxx

Wow you guys have been busy!!!

32 weeks shoes???? How did that happen!!!!

pez I fractured my coccyx in 2001 and it is still painful!!! My sympathies 

@Bear1980 I take 5mg of Folate each day (Folic Acid) in natural form as I have an elevated BMI. Your GP should be able to give you a prescription- I just buy the Folate and take 5 tablets a day

shoes have you not seen "Call the Midwife" - drink a glass of cold water that should get littleshoes on the move sorry about your unstable pelvis.

pickle £55 for all that sounds very reasonable.

caution hope you feel better soon

🤞🏼pez

Leg a lot better but I still cannot put my heel on floor. I got taxi into work yesterday - that completely wiped me out. As my internet was fixed I worked from home today and will do so tomorrow but it drives me stir crazy!!!

I finally made an appointment with the consultant for next Friday to get my test results. The receptionist cheerfully told me that it would be free as I had a miscarriage.

Feeling very low about it all... time feels like it is running out and I am going nowhere. My AF still has not made an appearance.

On a more positive note I have applied for two jobs and contacted 3 search firms.

I love pottery show :) ( and the painting challenge)

Me too hoping love them both!
And I totally want to see how everyone gets on too, been on this thread for about 17months, sometimes even when it was pretty much just me and kwick would feel very strange not being on it! X

Kwick I'm glad u have an appointment booked (😡😡at receptionist!)(&Big of them to say it's free when u spent £900 odd for the tests!!!!
Sorry your struggling with ur leg and work
well done for applying for new roles, keep my fingers crossed for you x

Who knew Johnny vegas was a potter

Still not a positive opk... I'll try again tomorrow! Probably will miss it but ah well! What advice can you lovely lot give me from now?!

Hoping of course we wouldn't mind if you stayed! We'd all love to know how you get on... It's always nice to have success stories on here

Kwick sorry to hear you still can't walk properly at least there's some progress, though, and that it's going in the right direction!
I agree with Pickle - it's oh so nice of them to offer you a free appointment when it cost you £900 odd to have the tests in the first place too bloody right it should be free!
Fingers crossed you hear something from the new jobs you've applied for!

Thanks @kwick the tablets I have are 400micrograms so took 12 this morning but wasn't sure if it worked like that 😂 where do you buy the folate tablets from? I might do that, one less thing to speak to the GP about. Hope your visit to the consultant gives you some answers and that you feel better once you have spoken to them.

I don't think you'll miss it Caution - it'll still be showing a positive test in the morning if you get the surge in the next few hours (as you won't have weed it out all of your system overnight!)

Kwick - glad to hear your leg is starting to be on the mend. Don't overdo it! Make sure you allow whatever it takes for it to have the chance to recover.

Its good that you've got your (free appointment) to get your test results lined up. I know you will be feeling like the clock is ticking ever louder but really a few weeks won't make the difference. AF seems to be like a watched pot never boiling, so try to plough on with all of life's other distractions and maybe if you ignore AF it will turn up.

The glass of water trick can work quite well but because LittleShoes is feet down the consultant reckons that sometimes he is moving and I just can't feel it.

Pez - crossing my fingers for you for tomorrow!

Pickle and Caution - thanks for the suggestion re the support belt. I've done a bit of reading and apparently a scarf tied tightly around your hips has the same effect so I'm rocking that look from now on

Kwick glad you've got appointment sorted. Sorry the receptionist wasn't more sensitive, you'd think they'd be good at that in a clinic. Hope the appointment sheds some light on the best way forward. Reality is rarely worse than the possibilities we dream up ourselves (reading backwards and just seen what Pickle said about suspense - similar thing I think!) Time will not run out just because your period is taking time to show up - your body is just sorting itself out for the next step, whatever that is. Well done on the job applications, I find that really hard when I'm low.

Pickle I'm hyper mobile too, I'm sure it contributes to aches and pains. Think that makes us more susceptible to what poor Shoes has?

pez I was so paranoid about that specific injury I wore impact shorts for about the first eight years that I snowboarded! My sister broke hers when we were younger and I've seen the effect it had on her. Got everything crossed for tomorrow (often think of you when I listen to the Cultural Fact that is the Archers ). If you do need ivf then you can video the nurse's explanation of the injections with your phone, that's what I did. Then you also hear your own questions and the answers.

Caution glad you're a bit better. I always think HFM sounds like an animal disease which somehow makes it worse!

I def want a doula. And a water birth, ideally at home, where I will breathe through the pain and then pop a baby out with no tearing. I can dream, right?

Stork the video sounds amazing. Hope they are multiplying away inside you -both of them Karen hope you're not totally wiped out with tiredness.

Bear on the way!

Hoping good to hear it's still positive news from you, I hope you'll stick around to let us know how you're getting on!

Phoenix I felt like that for a while - that I just wasn't where I expected to be, even though if you'd asked me ten years earlier I would have struggled to articulate where I thought I would be. Most of the time now I genuinely believe my life is different rather than worse but every now and again it catches me, especially if I compare myself to others too.

bear I buy them online - the make is Solgar - which is sold in H&B but I have never found the folate