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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome! Thread #6

999 replies

kwick · 24/02/2017 13:13

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome!  Thread #6
OP posts:
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37
INeedNewShoes · 10/03/2017 17:52

Hi Pixie and welcome to the thread Smile

Have you and your partner made a start on any research yet? If not, your best bet might be to go along to an open evening at a clinic near you where they will cover most of the info you need. Whereabouts are you?

INeedNewShoes · 10/03/2017 17:54

Lots of cross-posting; sorry!

Pickle - that's outrageous! The sperm bank/clinic should be vetting the donors so thoroughly that this doesn't happen. You make sure that they cover any costs that might incurred. This is their responsibility. Be forceful if you have to!

pickle162 · 10/03/2017 17:54

Ooh yes stork how did u get on?

Well today has been a rollercoaster, I have picked a new donor (yes I'm quick-there we're only 3 that I liked and went with my gut) the donor clinic sent me extended profile for free. It just made me smile and laugh the whole way through!
I have asked to go with this one,onwards and upwards and totally in the things happen for a reason mode too Phoenix ....perhaps this is what this crazy journey does to you :)

Feeling much more positive now....and breathe

CherryBlossom100 · 10/03/2017 18:21

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is okay. Sorry I was away for a few days but have had a busy week at work and been feeling very tired.
I hope you're alright Pez. Try and stay positive and you know that you have a longer term plan to focus on, if needed.
How's it going, Hoping?
Make sure you look after yourself this weekend, Stork. If there's any excuse to have a lazy weekend on the sofa, watching TV then surely it's this one!
Sorry for worrying you Pickle. I had my blood test on Tuesday and the HCG was 193 which the clinic were really happy with.
I'm suffering from bad cramps still and severe bloating. My work clothes aren't fitting well and look like I'm really fat. Also put on half a stone in the last two weeks. Maybe it's the change in diet as am trying to eat quite healthly.
I also had to have a moan at the gp as they refused a blood test for my thyroid levels and said I could be referred by my midwife at 9 weeks. She agreed in the end though as I kept whining about nice guidelines. I worry as it was 1.9 at xmas and it is over that 2 that is dangerous for the baby. Oh well, I don't usually make a fuss about anything but this is very important!

Oh, and my plans for finances are to bury my head in the sand and pretend money doesn't matter that much. Smile

pickle162 · 10/03/2017 18:43

Hehe I like your plan cherry I will join you in burying my head :)
Glad all ok with blood tests and glad u fought for ur thyroid tests,it annoys me that healthcare all comes down to cost rather than clinical need these days.

Snorkmaiden85 · 10/03/2017 19:55

Yay cherry, glad to hear about your HCG levels, hope the bloating eases up soon - I get that with IBS, it's horrid at work when you're cramped over a desk!

Re money, I've done endless hypothetical calculations but ultimately my plan is that I'll work it out as and when, because I'll have to. You never quite know what's round the corner so I'm trying not to freak out too much as lots of people make it work in all kinds of circumstances, so I will too. Whenever I start thinking 'can I afford to do this?', I switch to thinking 'can I afford NOT to??' and remind myself that there's never a perfect time!

Snorkmaiden85 · 10/03/2017 19:57

Oh cherry I forgot to say, I find fennel tea helps with bloating! I like Pukka Detox (the one with lemon especially) which has lots of fennel in :)

Snorkmaiden85 · 10/03/2017 20:09

OK scratch that cherry, I just checked and it sounds like it's best to avoid too much fennel in pregnancy! (eatdrinkbetter.com/2012/12/27/tea-pregnancy-which-ones-are-safe/)

I quit caffeine this week, last cup on Sunday, and I've had a migraine every day until today, arg... I'm glad I didn't wait until I'm pregnant though as my migraine medication isn't safe for pregnancy. Apparently migraines often improve during pregnancy, I bloody hope so as I'm lost without the pills!

Pez82 · 10/03/2017 20:20

I drink a lot of peppermint tea for IBS, it does help with the bloating Smile I used to take peppermint capsules but they made my throat cold and I felt as I was burping toothpaste all day long 😳

snork, the headaches are due to the toxins leaving your body... I remember reading about this the first time I detoxed as I had massive headaches for a couple of days. Hopefully you'll start feeling great soon. I have to say that I feel my immune system has been really strong this winter as I'm eating so healthily and taking lots of vitamins (I probably shouldn't say that as this is when I'll be proved wrong )

pickle162 · 10/03/2017 20:47

I have the peppermint tablets-work well for me and I liked that I'd get minty burps😂
Also find peppermint tea or hot peppermint cordial help with bloating

witchmountain · 10/03/2017 22:01

Glad you're sorted with a new donor Pickle. Meant to say up thread, I was told during my implications counselling session that donors can back out at any point before you're pregnant, so if my donor changes his mind I wouldn't be able to use my embryos. Still not sure what I think about that really - on the one hand I absolutely think they should be able to withdraw if they want to and the same for egg donors. But when it comes to embryos it's my egg too and I might not have any left by the time I come to use them!

witchmountain · 10/03/2017 22:03

I thought the headaches when you give up caffeine were because you're dependent on it? Either way they do stop after a few days!

Pez82 · 10/03/2017 22:39

Ah ah you're right witch, it could be withdrawal symptoms! It actually makes more sense than toxins leaving your body 😉 I probably read this on a dodgy website 😬

I've been reworking my spreadsheet and maternity policy and I should be fine. I only plan to take 6months anyway. I can get 4months at full pay and then use accrued holidays after and a couple of weeks on statutory. I also noticed I'm entitled to 2 weeks leave for fertility treatments (like you pickle) but that would mean telling my manager (which is out of the question) so I'll keep using my annual leave instead.
Sorry this is really dull 😩

Hoping, any news from you? Hope the TWOT isn't dragging too much...

INeedNewShoes · 10/03/2017 23:50

Pez - When I gave up caffeine (years ago) I definitely had a few days of feeling a bit rough. I have been so tired during pregnancy that I would have missed caffeine too much if I'd tried to cut it out.

it never crossed my mind that I might be entitled to time off for fertility treatment! Having said that, I was able to just swap my working days around for most cycles so I didn't have to use precious annual leave.

Kwick - if you're reading, just to say that I hope you've made it through the week ok and that you've got a nice weekend planned Smile

PhoenixMama · 11/03/2017 09:06

Stork Oouch! That sounds painful - did they have any reasons why it was so bad this time?

Well done Pickle! That was quick. Which bank are you using? I love the extended profiles.

Hi Pixie I just joined the group and they are very welcoming!

Shoes Which Danish clinic are you using? I think you've convinced me that I want to do the IUI. The cost thing of the straws was exactly what was making me pause. Although it would be helpful if the pound gained a bit against the Euro in the next few months lol.

Pez Why do you think it didn't work?

HopingForALittleOne · 11/03/2017 09:14

hello everyone, I considered doing it myself but when I read about what you needed to do I started to doubt I would get it right so opted to have iui.

hey pez are you sure? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you x

I've had such ups and downs over this TWW. I had a conversation with my mum last night about whether to test today or wait until Monday. In the end I decided I would test this morning sadly it was so I could see whether I had a chemical pregnancy again rather than excitement of being pregnant.

I did and now I am patiently waiting to see how this turns out. Not getting hopeful or excited yet...

Pez82 · 11/03/2017 10:20

Hoping, what happened? Fingers crossed!

I'm only 8dpo but it's my 3rd try and I'm sort of getting used to that feeling of it hasn't worked... I keep on reading that women know deep inside what they're pregnant and I don't feel a thing!! My IBS has been awful this cycle, I'm bloated most days and in pain, but I know it's related to the anxiety of the TWW. I don't even seem to really care this month, i just want this cycle to be done and over with so I can start ivf. I have my nurse appointment next Wednesday and was supposed to order more magic potion yesterday and forgot!!!! See, how disinterested I'm getting!

HopingForALittleOne · 11/03/2017 10:27

pez I haven't felt as though it's worked this month so I guess we will see. There was a line, it was a stronger line than this time last month but I'll see what happens. Af due tomorrow and 14 dpiui is Monday. My sciatica has been playing up the last few weeks so that's been more on my mind! Xx

Pez82 · 11/03/2017 10:30

So there was a line!!!! It's normal you want to be very cautious this month, I'll keep everything crossed for you 😊

pickle162 · 11/03/2017 10:35

I'm using Brighton fertility association-they are so so lovely, I really can't fault them. Very kind and learnt a lot from them more than my clinic. They are quite expensive

INeedNewShoes · 11/03/2017 10:50

Ha - Pez - I most definitely did not know I was pregnant. In fact I was very negative about the cycle that led to this pregnancy for various reasons.

Hoping - I am willing that line to keep getting darker!

Phoenix - I used Stork Klinik in Copenhagen. I absolutely love my clinic. The only remotely negative thing I have to say about them is that there was a mix up over which donor I was using for my last cycle (I'd requested 'the same donor as my March IUI' and they had defrosted the donor I'd used in July instead). They handled it fairly though and before my IUI admitted the error and gave me the option to defrost a straw from a different donor to use. In the end I went ahead with the sample that was ready which they didn't charge me for. Anyway despite all that, that was the cycle that gave me a sticky bean of a pregnancy! I actually feel a bit guilty that I didn't pay for the sperm sample that led to this baby I'm carrying!

Aside from that blip I rate my clinic very highly indeed. And if I ever want to do IUI again I will go straight back to Stork Klinik, no doubt about it.

They have specially designed beds to put you in the best position for the insemination and they use a specially-designed speculum which is warmed to body temperature and I can honestly say that I have experienced no pain at all during my IUIs there. It is all calm and friendly and feels like a very positive experience. They leave you to rest for at least half an hour after the IUI.

The other fab thing about them is that you only book your IUI at the point you get your LH surge. Then you pay when you turn up at the clinic. So if you didn't get your surge one month you would lose no money whatsoever.

They also don't push meds as long as all your test results are good.

They have a clear price list on their website. You'll need the full raft of tests, but my GP ran a lot of them for me. The only ones I had to pay for were the AmH (£100) and the hycosy (normally £400). If you decide to use Stork Klinik and you go over there for the consultation appointment (which can either be done on the phone or face to face), ask them to run these two tests for you while you are there. Their prices for tests are cheaper than in the UK.

I found that the cost of an IUI with DS was £780 post-Brexit (was £680 pre-Brexit!), a hotel outside the summer holidays around £80–£100 a night, and return Easyjet or RyanAir flights from Luton £50. Travel costs sky-rocketed in the summer holidays (and finding a spare seat on a flight at all at short notice became very challenging - Avios points for BA seats I otherwise couldn't afford came in handy here).

Please do ask if you have any questions about the clinic or travel logistics etc. Smile

StorkAhoy · 11/03/2017 11:22

Hi all. Heard from FC and from the 8eggs, 4 have fertilised. So wait to hear on Monday now about how they proceed (assuming they do)
Ain't nothing as sobering as eegg to follicle to blastocyst numbers... boy do they reduce in number quickly.....

INeedNewShoes · 11/03/2017 11:29

Stork - to have four at this stage is good though, surely!?

Fingers crossed that they do well over the weekend Smile

CautionHormone · 11/03/2017 13:34

Pickle - I'm glad you've settled on another donor! You've sorted it so quickly it's almost like it hasn't happened! Wink

Hoping that's amazing! I hope the line keeps on getting darker - I'll keep everything crossed!!

Cherry I'm glad your HCG levels came back good; that must be a weight lifted. Do you have to have them tested again any time soon?

Stork - 4 eggs fertilised is good going, isn't it?! Again, I'll keep everything crossed that they progress into blastocysts successfully...

I need a bit of insight from you lovely ladies Grin
Something I need to work out is how many times you have scans during your cycle for IUI? I know you have one on CD1, but when do you have the other scans? Is it just near when you're ovulating? Confused I'm just trying to work out to prepare myself, because even though I can't predict when I'll need them, if I use the clinic I want to use, I'll need to make certain arrangements!

Pez82 · 11/03/2017 13:50

caution, I've never had a CD1 scan, my clinic does the first scan on CD7.
My first cycle I had a scan on CD6 (as 7 felt on a Saturday), then CD9 and CD12 (IUI on CD13)
2nd cycle was messed up by bloody progesterone pessaries so I went for a CD7 scan and surged the same day.
This cycle, I went for CD6, CD9 (because I couldn't go back on CD10) and then the doctor booked me for the following on CD13 even I knew and insisted I would surge by then. He kept on saying the IUI would fall on CD15! Of course I surged on CD12 so never got that last scan done...
All what that says is that every cycle is different and they will book the scans based on follicle growth and hormone levels, so it is quite unpredictable. And doctors don't seem to care about what you know about your cycle, they only go by the book... at least for 2 cycles I was saying I know I was going to surge the same day, I've got a lot of ewcm etc and they were like uh and ignored me.

And then you have clinics that don't scan at all...