#makeithappen TTC through Donor IUI or Donor IVF or just undecided – all welcome! Thread #6

[kwick]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive... or thinking about doing so through donor IUI or donor IVF. Nothing TMI - feel free to join, we are a lovely group here to support and help keep the cray-cray away!

Here is the link to the previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2832207--makeithappen-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2769549-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen-loadsofBFPs
Here is the link to the thread before that: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2688511-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome-makeithappen
Here is the link to the one before that one: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2587046-TTC-through-Donor-IUI-or-Donor-IVF-or-just-undecided-all-welcome
And the one before that!: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1877198-Donor-IUI

Thanks stork (and witch for the advice on the same subject earlier), I'm definitely going to have to think about getting more outfits because the whole 'not constricting follicles' makes perfect sense! I already go through bad phases of bloating due to IBS so I can use this as an excuse (it's been pretty bad since I got my last IUI)

How you can even walk around with 20 nearly mature follicles on your ovaries is beyond me! Only one more day to carry them around, I'm so excited for you 😊

Ah stork such fab numbers, hope Friday goes well.
Cherry hope everything went ok yesterday!!!

I too am freaking out about money & how I'll cope but trying to focus on one step at a time, as soon as get bfp (pma/fingers crossed) I'll be saving as much as possible & then hoping with all my might that it goes ok and will look into any benefits/incentives out there to help....but first....stage1-getting to do the actual treatment and then stage 2-doing iui and having enough ££for that,everything else needs to stay hidden in back of my mind again (I have researched and done spreadsheets/equations but can't deal with everything all at once)

My sister downloaded it starts with the egg book for me on audible for me (she has the account and I link in) will be doing about 4-4.5hours round trip tomorrow so will be able to get a good chunk listened to tomorrow 😁

how does one walk with 20 nearly mature follicles Pez? Frankly, a bit gingerly! Im in work with my maternity jeans on and sooo comfy (although keep having to pull them up!!!) but my walk today is not as amusing as the hunched over walk I shall be sporting post egg collection - which even with my PMA - its the grimmest part of IVF IMO.

I heard from the clinic yesterday that the donor I've used for my previous cycles is unavailable so should get some new profiles today. I'd got quite attached to him and had forgotten then supplies can run out! On the plus side there is a wider range of donors for ICSI...

First injection was really straight forward apart from the odd moment where I realised I was pinching my stomach and holding the pen in such a way that I couldn't reach the plunger! If I let go of my stomach the needle would come out so I had to do some lovely contortions to move my hand to the end of the pen. I'll try it differently tonight!

Late. can you do stomach and top of front of thigh? or just stomach? Mine were all front of thigh. Keep going, it gets easier, and you get faster!

Loving how many of us have spreadsheets

I think I posted this on an earlier thread but you can put your hypothetical details into entitledto.co.uk to see what you'd get in terms of benefits or tax credits

Late I had the same thing with the pen. Got it sorted the second time! Disappointing about the donor but maybe you'll even see one you prefer this time.

Agree that 20+ eggs make you feel a bit bloated. Just to put a positive spin on the post egg collection period, I went out to dinner the night after my first one and did some work the afternoon after my second one though I won't say I felt great either time. Both times I cycled the 10 mile round trip to work the next day. I had to stand up over the bumps but was fine apart from that.

witch oh good for you! I think it depends on your FC and how they do things - I was in a lot of discomfort and went to bed after mine.

but really in the grand scheme of things, my endo scratch was more painful(for a short period of time), though the aching of the egg collection goes on for longer.

I used that entitledto.co.uk page last month when I had a 1% chance of having triplets and it still wouldn't give me any benefit!! I'm on a decent salary but not one I could use to fund childcare for 3 kids!
All I can get is a bit of tax credit (once they've launched the new scheme) and then the 15h childcare per week every kid over the age of 2 is entitled to, but I guess this is fair as in the case of couples they would take both salaries into account... as the saying goes you can't have your cake and eat it (the French version of this is: you can't get the butter, the money from (the sale of) the butter, and a smile from the dairywoman 😁)

Well done late on 1st injection!

For me it was like very persistent period pain - not so intense but more constant. TBH I would have preferred to totally chill both times. Your endo scratch sounded bloody awful!

I love the French version Pez, I must pass that onto my German colleague who struggled to understand having your cake and eating it. What is it in French?

I was told just below the bellybutton, but will ask about the thigh. I think the nurse said torso though. There is a video on the clinic's website so I'll see if they have any useful tips. I'm glad it wasn't just me witch!

If you inject just below the belly button, it means you're injecting in the same place every day? Ouch!!

Would you recommend booking time off for egg collection and the few days after that? I think I'll tell my manager I need to have a small procedure and need to take it easy (without going into details)

Witch the French version is:
"Tu ne peux pas avoir le beurre, l'argent du beurre et le sourire de la crémière"
Good luck explaining the concept, I guess it could be hard to grasp when there is no equivalent in one's native language.

pez my FC suggests taking the day off, as we aren't allowed to drive afterwards (due to the sedation) and require someone with us for 24hrs after the procedure. I'll be doing emails from work in the afternoon if thats any help, but wouldn't be going into work. Next day you might be in pain, or a bit achey. by the day after that, you're fine - or at least I am!

Thanks Pez! I was told below the belly button but switch from left to right each day - I think they mean the region below the belly button. Def take the day off. Day after I think you'll be ok unless mortgages are more manual than I imagine Don't plan anything physically strenuous anyway.

cherry how are you doing? Did you get your blood results back? Hope everything is ok.

Thanks stork and witch, the ivf gurus of the thread

Karen how are you feeling, any pregnancy symptoms kicking in?

Pickle, kwick, I forgot to tell you but I caught up on pottery throw down so will be watching the episode live tonight

Hey pez. Going the dr tonight. Feel like I have a bladder infection and want it checked out. Also having weird stabbing pains that are super quick and only when I move. Ligament? Not sure. I'm tired. Sore breasts. Bit of nausea but nothing major. Not getting too excited until I actually know there is a baby in there with a heartbeat. Even then with my mmc it's hard to be positive. I had no idea last time that I had lost the baby. Guess I don't trust symptoms. How are you? Lots of injection talk, I'm afraid at this point I have nothing to contribute to that. I'm trying to not think about money. There are so many women who get pregnant with no plans at all and things work out. Need to end up with a baby first! I'll trust that everything else will work out.

Karen good luck with the doctor tonight, bladder infections are awful. When will you have your first scan? Will they check anything before that?Hopeful for you.

Karen Good luck with the Dr!

Sorry I raised the money panic. It's more the responsibility, than the day to day costs. That said I know several women who in the end found it better to not return to work until kids were 2, and pick up some part time/consulting/etc work in that 2nd year.

For me the hardest was to go from 2 incomes & shared expenses to 1 income & all expenses. If I'd never had that I think it would have been a lot easier!

Pez I'm so pleased ur in the pottery club 😁I didn't get in till 11.45 last night as was travelling back from a friends 115miles away (zzzzz) so get to catch up on that this morning yayyyy

I went to entitledto... but boy I was soooo confused with all the questions (maybe cos I was trying to answer hypothetically and didn't have any info with me) but I think I will def need help to fill out that nearer the time. Sure there will be someone to help.... 😫 but fingers crossed will be entitled to something to help cos I don't plan to work full time so will need to pay for nursery but won't have any spare ££ to do that (ok this is why I don't think about it....PANIC!!!!)

Anywhoooo!!!!! (😫😭😣😖😬) nurses appointment 1week today 😁😁😁😁

Cherry getting worried we haven't heard from you. Hope everything's ok x

Pickle - don't panic. You will be eligible for some help if your income is low. I found using the calculators almost impossible because they ask you what you earned in the previous tax year, which for all of us (or those of us whose careers I have some inkling of) will take us way over the threshold for receiving any help.

Disclaimer: none of the info below is definite; I'm doing this off the top of my head...

SMP (maternity pay) is £140pw, but most of you might be able to get better maternity pay than that from your employers.

Child benefit is something like £20pw

I think that while we're on maternity leave if you're only on SMP we are eligible for some child tax credits (I worked it out to be around £240pcm)

Once you are working again, 16 hours per week, working tax credits kick in and actually I think its a decent amount (can't remember how much but several hundred per month).

If you're 'low income' which obviously I'm not now, but most likely will be once I start working again in January, then when your child turns 2 you will be eligible for 15 hours a week free childcare, then 30 hours a week once the child is 3.

Obviously its going to be a huge drop in income for most of us, but I think for the short timescales involved until free childcare starts to kick in its probably possible to muddle through.

I have been reducing my direct debits by switching to a £10pcm mobile contract (still has plenty of data for satnav, emails etc.), moving broadband suppliers etc. I've got to the point where my bills (mortgage, utilities, council tax, phone etc.) will definitely be covered by the SMP and child tax credits.

I think as long as we meet the 'low income' criteria we are eligible for a reduction in our council tax bill and my utilities company offer £160 off per year if you're on a low income. I'm just not 100% sure yet as to how the fact I will have earned well in the tax year 16–17 will affect that.

In all honesty, for me, any social life (going for coffee with other mums for example) and purchases are likely to be going on a 0% credit card until I start earning again (phased return to my freelance work from September but only four hours per week to start off with).

I have been stocking up on non-perishables (tins, pasta, cereal) and have a year's supply of washing powder, shampoo, toothpaste etc.

I think my parents are planning on being generous with things for their grandchild while my money is tight so that will obviously help too.

If I haven't starved to death by Christmas , I'll come back and report on any financial help I have found/received.

I earn £36k at the mo but will prob be doing at least 10hrs less, I've been on a budget for years as paid for my 6k new garden, loft boarding,new bathroom and now iui so even WHEN (Pma) I get preg I will be saving every month so I have back up dosh!
All that info is really helpful shoes thanks :) we will all muddle through....it'll be like when I was at uni and had marmite on pasta...yes that's how bad it got 😂
The free hours nursery will help when that comes so hopefully I'll only have a year or 2 to survive before get help with that
WE WILL BE FINE 😬

The nursery I want my imaginary baby to go to is £26 for half day or £41.50 for full day and seems to include food and is about 15steps from where I work :)

Happy with pottery result!
Clover to win for me, I think she is wonderful

Shoes, I hadn't thought on stocking up on every day's basics, that a great idea! I'll definitely do that too, get a whole batch of pasta, washing liquid and shampoos delivered to the house!

Pickle, yeah her Russian dolls were so cute!!

Karen, hope the doctor went ok last night