Not taking kids on holiday

[YouLoveberries]

Has anyone decided not to take their children on holiday as a single parent? Even more so with the recent tragedy in the news about the two young children on holiday it’s just kind of confirmed it even more to me that it’s a bad idea and I don’t feel id be able to safely watch them on my own. (I know they weren’t single parents but still) how do you get over not going on holiday again? It’s already been 15 Years since I last went abroad and the uk is definitely not the same (sorry)

Do you have a friend, sibling or a parent that could come along with you to help keep an eye on them with you ?

You manage to adequately supervise them all year round. Why do you think you won't do anywhere else ?

I am a single parent with an SEN child and have just finished a 2 week holiday abroad. It's fine as long as you are aware of your surroundings and assess the dangers. I took a trip recently with a friend and their kids and found it much harder as they all went in different directions and friend was much more relaxed about where kids could go obviously as no sen etc

Everyone is acting like there are only two kinds of holidays: city break and beach/pool. There are so many other fun types of holidays- outdoors activities/adventures not focused on water, driving based sight-seeing outside of major cities (I did a brilliant "roadtrip" across the Balkans with kids), cruises (not my bag but plenty of people love them), amusement parks, the list is endless.

Massively this.

To the people saying if OP can manage them at home she will manage abroad, and saying if OP doesn't feel comfortable taking them abroad she's not safe to look after them at home either - what planet are you on?

Parenting a SEN child abroad can be very different parenting a SEN child at home. The change in routine, the sensory differences with the different climate, the food, the loud busy resorts, the airport experience, the plane experience, the unfamiliar places and the risk of eloping - it can be very difficult. At home there's routine, there's the familiar safe place.

Saying it's the same is just wrong. Saying she is unfit to look after them at all if she can't take them abroad alone comfortably is just utterly disgusting.

Honestly, some people on this thread. Tell me your child doesn't have profound disabilities without telling me eh. Glad some people manage it but you really don't need to make the OP feel like crap if she doesn't feel comfortable putting herself or her kids in that situation.

@intoFolklore thank god for some realistic input here !
OP I totally understand. My SEN has never left the country (sibling has). Aside from not being able to afford big holidays, my SEN would be a complete nightmare and I’d rather spend £5k I don’t have on other things until they’re a bit older. We have had some nice breaks in the uk though.

I never took mine abroad as we all have a health condition and the one time I took them away in the uk, I had a flare up and ended up in a&e and attending the hospital twice a day for IV antibiotics.

I completely get it. I have 2 dc with sen and I also have a brilliant hands on Dh and there isn't a chance we would be taking them abroad. We go on a UK caravan holiday, we take it at a really chilled pace, we're able to stick to routines and cook what we know the dc will eat. X

I know a couple who doesn’t take their child on holidays abroad due to anxiety about whatever may happen. I find it a bit much but when it’s like that, if you don’t feel confident about it it’s better to not go at all than to go and be stressed.

Holidays are entirely optional. A holiday at home is still a holiday.

Well if you really don’t want to take them, you can still go away when they are at their dads.

@YouLoveberries: I think you are being unfairly piled on here

My sister, a lone parent, had an accident on holiday with her DD. Fortunately they were with other family who took care of her. My DNiece’s first thought was ‘what if this has happened when we were just the 2 of us’

At home, other trusted adults (friends, family, school etc) are minutes away

A good friend is away solo with her 3 atm and finding it very challenging - won’t leave the resort for safety reasons (travelling without kids dad as he is ill)

Taking another adult/travelling with another family or where friends/relatives are reachable just seems wise to me - and this is from someone who has traveled the world as a lone female. Managing a kid/multiple children’s safety in a different environment is not always straightforward

Holidays with children are stressful, even leaving apart the SEN for the moment. Also for the children. The heat, travelling, airports, a different environment, unfamiliar food.

It's a cost-benefit analysis that depends on you and your children. How much will you get out of a holiday abroad compared to the stress and trouble involved? How much will your children get out of it, taking into account their needs? And would other options (a UK holiday/a cruise) be easier and offer more enjoyment?

We took our children away earlier in the year and, although they had fun and it was worth it on balance, I came back exhausted and in need of another holiday. We agreed that they probably don't need an "abroad" holiday every year to have enough "experiences" so will probably do a UK activity break next year.

And watching two young children or two children with additional needs by yourself around water is intensely stressful. Unless there is an adult per child, I will only ever take my children to "boring" pools with a lifeguard where the whole pool is clearly visible.

Thank you, mumsnet is a really nasty place though so not surprised by the comments actually! Posted on a Sen group on fb and got far more normal and relatable comments from people who also said they didn’t feel comfortable taking their kids on holiday.

Weird to make an assumption they see their father?

Thanks mumsnet is a pretty nasty place so I’m used to it, anything for a pile on!

So? I wouldn’t take them abroad alone even if they didn’t! I literally mentioned it in the second comment so hardly a massive deal 😌 if you don’t relate scroll past? I don’t comment on posts I don’t relate to

And yes that situation did make me think even more that I am making the right decision as mine love water and wouldn’t want to be told they couldn’t go in it

Probably the happiest I’ve ever been is on holiday with my DC (and without DH)

it’s something I really want to do more but can’t afford to right now.

why out of curiosity? Never been abroad with ex either so have no experience either way

Freedom to be completely child focused, not having to think about what ‘D’H wants to do.

I find it really relaxing just being with my kids, we have fun, we explore and there’s something that’s makes me feel accomplished taking them somewhere abroad, somewhere memorable - we do lots in the UK but I feel quite proud of myself when I manage to change trains abroad or other types of travel when it’s just me.

There’s a few places in the world I’d love to take them to before they are 18 - I don’t know if I’ll afford to but it’s a dream.

You do have to be a bit brave - I’ve forced myself on rollercoasters I hate, I’ve swam and snorkelled in the sea when I don’t like the salt water. We’ve walked late at night alone and I’ve been a bit apprehensive but again doing things successfully and seeing their excitement and joy is just magical.

Then she doesnt need to its her decision. Not much point asking people on here if she doesnt want to go. I find everyone on here has SEN children and use it as an excuse for everything

Then dont take them! Whats the actual point of this post