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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Cheating pain

108 replies

superplumb · 31/01/2025 16:51

So afyer 27 years I caught my husband cheating. He said he met her a month ago amd asked for her number. He offered to show me text messages to prove the date.
She booked a hotel on thr 31st dec and paid for it and they had sex. The lies he told me. He even convinced me to change medication over Xmas as I was 'paranoid' he shotef at me when I questioned certain things and made me feel guilty. He swore on the kids lives that he was cheating. He held me while I sobbed saying I feel like il going mad because of my worries about him cheating.
I just feel sick, shit about myself and the pain is unbelievable. I checked his dash cam for one day and he even deleted thr last image which shows him going to a car park to meet her.
We had sex still and even booked a night away for his birthday. We went out the day before woth the kids and had a good time.
When does the pain end. I just can't function. We have two children aged 9 and 11. They've not taken it well i don't think they have processed it.
I've had to block him because I'm messaging him asking him questions wanting detial but he's ignoring me. But I also don't want the details because it hurts more. I'm a mess. I just need positive stories because right now I want to jump in front of a bus.
The other week he came home with a bag of sweets. He told me that a bloke at work got them for the kids becdue he knew they liked them. I knew this was lie. Middle aged men dont do thus for men's children. Turns out it was her. Thus makes me feel sick.
Thanks to medication changed for my 'paranoia ' I've not been well and told him I didn't want to be alone thus sat when he was meant to be going out bowling. He said to get my mim round if I was unwell. He wasnt wiling to cancel it. Yep..she's booked a hotel for them both. I just keep getting intrusive thoughts.
Ive also posted in relationships but that's quiet atm
Any advice welcome. I just cannot stand the pain. The flashbacks of seeing them both sat there. I jist feel sick.

OP posts:
Kleptronic · 01/02/2025 00:57

I've been where you are and I know how you feel. Take it minute by minute get through it minute by minute is what I mean. Then 2. Then 5. Then 10.

You can do it.

Kleptronic · 01/02/2025 01:00

The way through I found was by having no contact at all, other than for child arrangements.

Kleptronic · 01/02/2025 01:00

Can you separate living arrangements?

superplumb · 01/02/2025 08:09

Kleptronic · 01/02/2025 01:00

Can you separate living arrangements?

He's move out.

OP posts:
Tosca23 · 01/02/2025 20:34

So sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like you may be in shock. When you have been with someone for almost 30 years you count on them like family. The shock of finding out they aren’t who you thought they were and that you can’t trust or rely on them can be horrific.

It sounds like you are really struggling with your feelings but anyone would in the circumstances. You’ve had a horrendous shock. The pain can sometimes be overwhelming. Reading up on the stages of grief may help you understand more about what you are going through. You are going to feel how you are going to feel. There is no magic cure for this except time. Try to look after yourself and do what you can to feel better step by step. Hot baths, gym, walks, whatever helps you to get through this. It takes time but you will feel better overtime.

If you can afford it pay for a good therapist. Do you have any friends and family you can lean on for a bit of support?

www.healthline.com/health/stages-of-grief

2025willbemytime · 01/02/2025 20:43

I've divorced my h after 27 years as well. It hurt like fucking hell what he did (worse than an affair, he did that years before) but now I'm glad I don't have to see his stupid face anymore. He was never good enough for me.

You'll get thought it but you'll need support, advice, love and care from where ever you can get it.

superplumb · 02/02/2025 09:26

2025willbemytime · 01/02/2025 20:43

I've divorced my h after 27 years as well. It hurt like fucking hell what he did (worse than an affair, he did that years before) but now I'm glad I don't have to see his stupid face anymore. He was never good enough for me.

You'll get thought it but you'll need support, advice, love and care from where ever you can get it.

You know a few weeks ago I asked what he loved about me. He mentioned a couple of really stupid things. He didn't ask me the same question but I've since thought about my answer. You know what, I couldn't think of anything. The lies he told and thr cheating he did will always hurt. I'll now hate him for that..
But I think long term, maybe I'll find someone decent. Who knows. But at least I won't have to sub him anymore.. once the duvorce goes through.

OP posts:
mini124 · 02/02/2025 11:02

I am so sorry for your pain.

This kind of situation can turn your whole world upside down. The anxiety, the unknown, the sleepless nights, the lack of self esteem, the over thinking thoughts & you just literally feel numb. Let me tell, this is the vulnerability in you when something like this first happens. All you want is them back, your back & the love back. I went through it but pulled through but it was the hardest thing ever.

Let you me share what I learnt not once but on a few occasions when trust was broken due to infidelity.

You just want them back but really it's not them you want back, it's the love and the fear of abandonment that keeps you trapped in taking their rubbish. The more they see you very broken apart, the more comfortable they feel doing what they do because they know you will still be there if their dirty affair fails.

They always come back if they are the type to be dishonest, a history of cheating & narcissistic . Once they come back, don't mean they will change unless they take full responsibility of their actions looking deeply within themselves. So what did I do? I fell apart for months even maybe for year until I did something for myself, I let them carry on with their seedy life. Once he saw I got a grip & was stronger than him. He wanted to come back because I no longer gave even the slightest fuck. If you have children, don't let this force you to try and connect the family back together unless he changes.

I can't tell you what to do but once a cheater always a cheater especially if husband works away which was in my case. Don't waste your mental energy, it's okay to break down but it long term it achieves nothing. Take your time but eventually stand back up & show him you will be okay & that you don't care anymore. You have the children that you need you, you need you and nobody else can give you the happiness you deserve except you.

Two things will happen from this :

He will continue the affair for as long as possible til the novelty wears off, the sex no longer excites him. Or the affair partner will except him to leave you & he will be in conflict with that. You let him do as he likes. You will only think of yourself & you do what is best for you & only you. Don't not show him you want him back even if you do. If you do wish to take him back . Let him come to you without pressure or force. It has to be done naturally.

2nd outcome could be that he may want to stay with his side chick but will cheat on her too because that's his form now! How do you know he hadn't done dirty deed previously whilst married to you. I didn't consider this regarding own situation but now I believe there was many occasions he did it before unknown to me.

You can message me anytime for support as everyone is right on here. It's the only thing to get you through.

mini124 · 02/02/2025 11:06

Sorry for my poor grammar! My phone key pad is faulty!

2025willbemytime · 02/02/2025 13:46

superplumb · 02/02/2025 09:26

You know a few weeks ago I asked what he loved about me. He mentioned a couple of really stupid things. He didn't ask me the same question but I've since thought about my answer. You know what, I couldn't think of anything. The lies he told and thr cheating he did will always hurt. I'll now hate him for that..
But I think long term, maybe I'll find someone decent. Who knows. But at least I won't have to sub him anymore.. once the duvorce goes through.

Don't even think about someone else. Just focus on getting divorced, spend time on yourself, become who you want to be and if another relationship is right for you it will happen.

superplumb · 02/02/2025 14:23

mini124 · 02/02/2025 11:02

I am so sorry for your pain.

This kind of situation can turn your whole world upside down. The anxiety, the unknown, the sleepless nights, the lack of self esteem, the over thinking thoughts & you just literally feel numb. Let me tell, this is the vulnerability in you when something like this first happens. All you want is them back, your back & the love back. I went through it but pulled through but it was the hardest thing ever.

Let you me share what I learnt not once but on a few occasions when trust was broken due to infidelity.

You just want them back but really it's not them you want back, it's the love and the fear of abandonment that keeps you trapped in taking their rubbish. The more they see you very broken apart, the more comfortable they feel doing what they do because they know you will still be there if their dirty affair fails.

They always come back if they are the type to be dishonest, a history of cheating & narcissistic . Once they come back, don't mean they will change unless they take full responsibility of their actions looking deeply within themselves. So what did I do? I fell apart for months even maybe for year until I did something for myself, I let them carry on with their seedy life. Once he saw I got a grip & was stronger than him. He wanted to come back because I no longer gave even the slightest fuck. If you have children, don't let this force you to try and connect the family back together unless he changes.

I can't tell you what to do but once a cheater always a cheater especially if husband works away which was in my case. Don't waste your mental energy, it's okay to break down but it long term it achieves nothing. Take your time but eventually stand back up & show him you will be okay & that you don't care anymore. You have the children that you need you, you need you and nobody else can give you the happiness you deserve except you.

Two things will happen from this :

He will continue the affair for as long as possible til the novelty wears off, the sex no longer excites him. Or the affair partner will except him to leave you & he will be in conflict with that. You let him do as he likes. You will only think of yourself & you do what is best for you & only you. Don't not show him you want him back even if you do. If you do wish to take him back . Let him come to you without pressure or force. It has to be done naturally.

2nd outcome could be that he may want to stay with his side chick but will cheat on her too because that's his form now! How do you know he hadn't done dirty deed previously whilst married to you. I didn't consider this regarding own situation but now I believe there was many occasions he did it before unknown to me.

You can message me anytime for support as everyone is right on here. It's the only thing to get you through.

We've already split. I submitted the divorce petition he day after I caught him.
I dont know if he cheated in the marriage. He said not but theb he also swore on the kids lives he wouldn't cheat and yet he did so who knows.
All I know is thr pain is unbearable. Not thr cheating part but thr lies he told and the lengths he went to convincing me my meds were making me paranoid when all along I was right. That's the bit that hurts.

OP posts:
mini124 · 02/02/2025 14:41

Well done on you for having the courage to divorce. It's such a difficult thing to do but you did it pretty fast. Unfortunately, liars go to great lengths to cover their ass. This form of betrayal is unforgivable. His character will certainly not last in any relationship.

It's very traumatic what happened to you. I have been lied to many times for as long as possible. When I did uncover suspicious cheating again , he would deny it by gas lighting me with excuses. For example I found a hotel bill under his name for a room with a king size bed . The booking was done on his birthday for 1 night then 2 nights for 2 adults . The bill went to his email. He is working away so I didn't physically see him take a women there. When I eventually confronted, he said he booked it for a friends two males. He did not know at the time I already knew a king size bed was booked. I said your friends must be gay !!! He couldn't lie to cover that up. He just said he booked it for Them so he don't know.

mini124 · 02/02/2025 14:45

I don't trust this man but he's a very clever manipulator. The day I confronted him. He changed his behaviour towards from dry to loving. Saying baby I would do that, I love u and wouldn't cheat again. This alone was a guilty conscience speaking but he said to me I had my flaws and stabbed him in the heart few times but he learnt to live with it & accept me as I am . He believes I physically cheated on him even though I never have. He projects his own behaviour onto me like a true narcissist.

superplumb · 02/02/2025 17:10

mini124 · 02/02/2025 14:41

Well done on you for having the courage to divorce. It's such a difficult thing to do but you did it pretty fast. Unfortunately, liars go to great lengths to cover their ass. This form of betrayal is unforgivable. His character will certainly not last in any relationship.

It's very traumatic what happened to you. I have been lied to many times for as long as possible. When I did uncover suspicious cheating again , he would deny it by gas lighting me with excuses. For example I found a hotel bill under his name for a room with a king size bed . The booking was done on his birthday for 1 night then 2 nights for 2 adults . The bill went to his email. He is working away so I didn't physically see him take a women there. When I eventually confronted, he said he booked it for a friends two males. He did not know at the time I already knew a king size bed was booked. I said your friends must be gay !!! He couldn't lie to cover that up. He just said he booked it for Them so he don't know.

Hr made me change my medications saying I was paranoid. Then he blamed the side effects of it. I felt like I was going mad. Even my parents worried about me. He shouted at me for questioning him, all along I was right. He even lied when he brought home a bag of sweets ans said it was from his male friend. I knew that was a lie. It was from her. Why would she buy my fucking children sweets. They've been together a month. Id love to meet her and show her the essages he would send me every morning saying he loved me etc.but he's lied to her and she'll be so desperate she'll believe whatever he tells her.

OP posts:
mini124 · 02/02/2025 17:19

Omg , this is serious narcissism. Are they still together 🫣. You will come out on top, mark my words. He will be regretful sooner or later when it's too late !

superplumb · 02/02/2025 17:52

mini124 · 02/02/2025 17:19

Omg , this is serious narcissism. Are they still together 🫣. You will come out on top, mark my words. He will be regretful sooner or later when it's too late !

Yep they were in a hotel room all last night when he told me he was bowling with his mates.
I begged him not to stay overnight because ive been really ill. He wasnt even prepared to stay at home with his ill wife and mother of children if it meant he couldn't spend the night with her. All he said was she was a carer ams they first spoke on the 27th Dec. She booked a hotel room for sex on the 31st dec.

OP posts:
rockingbird · 02/02/2025 18:07

I have been in your shoes and totally get how you must be feeling. He will never change and the sooner to shut that man out of your life for good the better - easier said than done I know! The gaslighting is common with affairs - you're the one going mad, no doubt the affair partner has been told how tough it's been for him blah blah blah. Well done for having the courage to file for divorce, I spent far too long going round in a vicious circle trying to make it work! The lies were the worst part and something I just couldn't get my head around. You simply cannot love someone and be so hurtful to them. Trust is so important, once it's broken there's no going back I'm afraid. Day by day things will get easier, try to keep busy, go no contact unless it's about the kids, hard to do but it does really help. Big hugs xx

superplumb · 02/02/2025 18:11

rockingbird · 02/02/2025 18:07

I have been in your shoes and totally get how you must be feeling. He will never change and the sooner to shut that man out of your life for good the better - easier said than done I know! The gaslighting is common with affairs - you're the one going mad, no doubt the affair partner has been told how tough it's been for him blah blah blah. Well done for having the courage to file for divorce, I spent far too long going round in a vicious circle trying to make it work! The lies were the worst part and something I just couldn't get my head around. You simply cannot love someone and be so hurtful to them. Trust is so important, once it's broken there's no going back I'm afraid. Day by day things will get easier, try to keep busy, go no contact unless it's about the kids, hard to do but it does really help. Big hugs xx

Thanks
The lies are worse than the cheating i thjnk. Sending pretend photos of work vans with flat tyres so he could justify being home late...all sorts.

OP posts:
fairyup · 02/02/2025 19:44

I'm truly sorry for the pain you are in right now.

I've been there and it physically hurts.

It does get better and easier though-I promise!

superplumb · 02/02/2025 20:15

fairyup · 02/02/2025 19:44

I'm truly sorry for the pain you are in right now.

I've been there and it physically hurts.

It does get better and easier though-I promise!

Thanks..people keep saying this to me but I'm still in a hole i can't believe it

OP posts:
researchers3 · 02/02/2025 20:33

It takes time OP. I know how hard it is to hear that when you're suffering this much.

It's very early days. Everything you're feeling and thinking is completely natural and understandable.

Get some therapy and confide in close friends. Spend time with people who love you and will shore you up.

It won't last with them, well, very likely not but the best thing you can do is to focus on you, your children and give him as little attention as possible

rockingbird · 02/02/2025 23:05

@superplumb oh I get it, the lengths they go to holds no bars.. l was told some massive things! Utter rubbish all to cover his tracks. It's like digging a hole deeper and deeper to cover the affair being discovered 🤷🏼‍♀️ my son one said there are three things that always come out - the sun, the moon and the truth. Never forgotten that!

superplumb · 03/02/2025 07:13

rockingbird · 02/02/2025 23:05

@superplumb oh I get it, the lengths they go to holds no bars.. l was told some massive things! Utter rubbish all to cover his tracks. It's like digging a hole deeper and deeper to cover the affair being discovered 🤷🏼‍♀️ my son one said there are three things that always come out - the sun, the moon and the truth. Never forgotten that!

Mine even sent photos of flat tyres as a way to explain why hell be late.
He doesn't spela to me in front to her
He gets out her car and gets into his when I call. If I were her, this would make me.suss
She's clearly too stupid to think rationally and she has children herself.

OP posts:
Tosca23 · 03/02/2025 09:11

It’s great that you started the divorce. Is your husband still living with you? Do you think you can get him to leave? It may be better for you getting over this if he is no longer in the house.

It sounds like you are in disbelief that your ex has turned out to be completely untrustworthy and that he has betrayed you in so many horrendous ways. It is a lot to take in and come to terms with. I think when things like this happen, our brains try to make sense of it and we enter almost disbelief that someone we loved and trusted actually doesn’t care for us or have our best interests at heart. It’s going to take time to process as it’s a huge shock. It’s going to hurt a lot, but you will get through it. Keep moving forward and looking after you.

Anonym00se · 03/02/2025 09:35

I’m just sending a massive hug. I’ve been there, and I promise it does get better, but the first few weeks are a living hell. Please try and get some therapy if you can. Mine was amazing and helped me build an amazing, happy life that I never thought was possible.

I’ve posted this before, but I went through exactly the same as you in that my exH gaslighted me and convinced me (and my family, and my doctor!) that I was paranoid and going mad. They had me taken into a psychiatric unit, where I was told I’d be sectioned if I didn’t ’volunteer’ to a 72 hour assessment. Luckily after the 3 days, the psychiatrist made it clear to exH that there was nothing wrong with me and released me. It was unbelievably traumatic at the time, and I ended up trapped in the marriage for years because I was terrified that if I asked any of my family for help they’d have me put back in there.

There are no lengths that some twisted men won’t go to to cover their tracks. Please do not beat yourself up, this is ALL on him. You deserve so much better than a cheating narcissistic arsehole. Sending lots of love x