Separating with no support

[Newyearnewness]

Hi, please be kind.
I have two young DC, and married over a decade. I have been struggling with feeling ignored and used as a maid/housekeeper by my H for a long time. Things have gotten much worse lately and I can't give details bc it's outing potentially but my counsellor says it's an abusive situation.
If I leave, I will be starting from complete scratch.
I have a job- I have good qualifications, but only PT hours at the moment (youngest is a baby) and I can improve my earnings but it will be a 6 months or so before I can do that. I also will have no car (the only vehicle we have is his) I've seen a couple of more affordable locally but I'll have to save hard to buy one out right.
I don't have a network as such, no friends, family, etc.
He hates me, he's only staying bc it's more convenient for him. I'm trying to reduce how much of his housework i do, while still playing for time, I can't piss him off or do anything noticeable until I am more sorted.
I have started to get my act together - I've got a bag with our documents in, I have a little bit of savings, not much but I'm working on it. and as soon as things reopen I'm going to get advice about where I stand but basically I just need a bit of a hand hold. I know I can do it, but the challenges seem vast atm.
Has anyone else made it on their own?

@Destroyingme

You have your children- they are your hope . You need to seek further support if you are still feeling down .

You are still the same person you were before this awful relationship . She is still in you - you just have to find that sociable / bubbly self again . Not easy I know .

I have heard a couple of good recommendations for the Brenda and Frank chat GPT counselling . I haven't tried it myself . This could be used in association with other support .

Mumsnet posted some links before . I think you also need to speak to someone in real life , you used your Employee Assistance Programme . Can you use this again , as well ? The Samaritans service is also for people who need to speak to someone and not just for those who need urgent help .

Are you feeling suicidal and are you thinking about ending your own life and planning how to do it ? Mumsnet posted links and if you are at that stage you will need to seek urgent 999 assistance .

I know that you don't have family support but myself and others on this board and your support in real life do care about you and your family . Please seek further help .

@Destroyingme

That sounds more positive . I hope that things work out for you tomorrow . You are definitely due to some good luck .

@Destroyingme

Sorry , that sounds really tough for you today . I assume you have one child with you and he has the other which he is now refusing to return .
I am sorry the police haven't been more helpful , can you challenge this at all ?

Can you seek out the support (WA etc ) that you got previously to update them and see what can be done ? Do you have a solicitor already ? Have you updated them , sought out further advice .

You have had a further set back today , which I know is hard . But you need to keep pushing on and take it one day at a time .

Look after yourself and go back to those who were previously able to offer you support .

@Destroyingme
How are you doing this week ?

I'm still around....very hard times. Will update more when safer to do so.x

Hi , hope you and your kids are safe . Thinking of you and hoping you get to experience some joy on Mother’s Day .

Haven’t been around as lots happening in real life and also went to the Mumsnet app , which I am finding it more difficult to navigate around .

@imfae
Hi 👋 happy mother's day if you celebrate it

Haven't tried the MN app as I'm actually pretty hopeless with anything like that

I have a lot on my plate but I did get myself some flowers and a coffee. He didn't believe in valentine's, mothers day "commercial BS" so it's no different to married life where I bought my own gifts anyway.... 🫤

(I suppose it goes without saying that I acknowledged all the usual holidays for him with the required gifts/moonpigs etc) ah well those days are over

Hi , hope you are doing ok and that the better weather means you can get out and about with your DC.

Hi pp I haven't replied because it's been hell on earth