Child maintenance at 19

[glb1989]

My husband is paying child maintenance for his two children.
one of them is 19. She completed a 2 year level 3 course and has now started another level 3 course on an unrelated topic.

she already holds a level 3 qualification; should he be supporting via child maintenance for a decision which keeps her out of employment for even longer? I understand supporting her education to a level 3 but not twice.

Would be interested to hear from anyone with experience in this

Sorry I don't know why that posted twice!

With my daughter I did encourage her do the level 4 as her a levels weren't great due to Covid years. I actually didn't expect him to have to pay but it was welcome as it paid half her train fare to London and I don't claim any benefits so financially it made no difference other than his money.
I imagine my ex and his wife were also furious but she needed another year and took it. I'm glad he had to pay as he does nothing else and hasn't for years, he could've had them 50/50 but couldn't be bothered so his financial contribution was all he did and I took everything I was entitled too to support my daughter in making sure she had good choices for work ( and she's also worked since she was 17 and paid the other half of her train fare to do that extra year)

So, the mother is so appalling that she's ruining his kids, but not so appalling that he's prepared to pay £200 to see them and parent them,because he couldn't possibly have £200 spare. You say you have kids, they can't be his because you both couldn't have afforded kids what with not having £200 spare. I would seriously advise anyone who doesn't have £200 spare to get an additional job.

Every single day on this site is a new example of why step mothers and absent fathers have such a bad name.

I think he should be paying it if she is still in further education, which my son was at 19. Also, if he wants to keep paying it beyond that then it's up to him.

Also, the fact that she is doing another course at the same Level shouldn't be a reason to stop paying. My son changed what he was studying and so took longer. He wanted to take a different direction and was still living with me. I needed the money.

My DS1 realised when he was looking at universities that he needed a specific qualification on top of his A levels to compete for the course he wanted to do. Of course I encouraged him. His Dad actually called me and asked why I “let” him!!!!
DS1 has now a very successful career in his chosen field and still thinks his Dad was unsupportive and doesn’t want to be bothered with him.
Dad never paid the going rate in maintenance and gave me the run around for years stopping and starting jobs to try and keep one step ahead of what was CSA.
Disgusting.

I think that he should be paying.

It’s funny that dad doesn’t see dd (so you presumably don’t either) and you’re sure that this is a delay tactic so they can screw your h rather than dd changing her mind on what to study. I have an 18yo who would be 19 if he had a September or October birthday and careers advice during covid was pretty much non existent. He’s doing another level 3 course because it’s taken him a bit of extra time to find the right course.

It would have cost your h £215 plus a mediation session to get a Child Arrangement Order when his ex started being awkward. No solicitor needed and if ex didn’t attend mediation then he could have gone straight to court. Once the kids turned 12ish then it would be up to them and maybe they would have wanted no contact with your h but I understand why he thinks CM is the least that he can provide.

If anything I think if kids are at University maintenance should still be paid at a reduced rate to the resident parent, the holidays are many and it costs a fortune to feed another adult, clothes washing, lifts etc. And yes my kids all have/had p/t jobs but this usually went towards rent at University as even full loans etc don’t cover everything.

So, until the holiday issue, he has the kids 50% of the time, but how they’ve turned out and their work ethic is all mum’s fault?

If contact has only stopped now, as adults, then it’s their choice not their mum’s. And no wonder because you sound awful.