Child maintenance at 19

[glb1989]

My husband is paying child maintenance for his two children.
one of them is 19. She completed a 2 year level 3 course and has now started another level 3 course on an unrelated topic.

she already holds a level 3 qualification; should he be supporting via child maintenance for a decision which keeps her out of employment for even longer? I understand supporting her education to a level 3 but not twice.

Would be interested to hear from anyone with experience in this

How do you pay CMS, bills to live yourself and court fees????
I’d love to know if you have the answer to that..

We did until we invited them on holiday and she said she’d withhold passports and stopped their son staying here.
The daughter had told us she was looking for a job etc, then in a last min U turn, once kids are completely withheld from him, a college course is on the cards. .

until he was invited on holiday, we had the son 50% of the time. That’s how.

😂 again, he’d have loved to have seen them if their Mum was not controlling and coercive.
How do you allege this stuff without asking?

I love this!!!!

He gives a shit. Of course.
how is he supposed to pay to live, pay child maintenance and go to court?!

Thank you for all of the insightful responses; I’ve really enjoyed an afternoons entertainment ☺️

You’re saying that, over the course of several years (enough to meet you, get married to you and have further children), your DH was unable to save enough to pay these fees? https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/fees-in-the-civil-and-family-courts-main-fees-ex50/family-court-fees-ex50#children

How did/do you afford to have more kids, in that case?

No wander mum has controlled you seeing them, you sound horrible and bitter and nasty to posters because don't agree with you.
If that was you attempt at fun it was nasty and if it was true it's nasty.
I'd keep my kids well away from someone like you

It's your DH decision, and personally I think the right one, I have a daughter 25 thats just finished her masters and is starting her first proper full time job next week.
We have supported her til now as she only got minimum maintenance loan at uni so topped her up and she's had to move back home so will living at home until she moves up careeer ladder and can afford her own place. Parenting does not stop when your DC hit 18.

Why would I need to ask if you’ve already given the info?
“my husband doesn’t see his kids at all”
And “no one has been to court”.

So his ex apparently stopped him from seeing his kids but he didn’t do anything to ensure that he did which doesn’t say great things about him.

No wander .. ☺️

nobody asked for the facts, I’m absolutely bamboozled by the approach to the whole thing! It’s a shocking state of society today.

Does your husband want to pay, or not? What does child maintenance say? Is he legally obliged to pay?

It sounds like you don't want him to pay, and you're looking for justification for that in this thread, which you're not getting.

If he wants to pay, or child maintenance says he has to pay, or he is legally obliged then let him pay. Don't get in the way of this one.

If he doesn't want to pay anymore for whatever reason, he should just own that and stop paying. But as you can see from the replies here, most people don't agree with that situation. He doesn't have to do what everyone else thinks he should do, he is a grown man.

It’s a shocking state of society today.

Says the person fuming because their husband is doing the bare minimum legally mandated option from parents.

Multiple people have asked for facts. You ignore them. So others, naturally, are going by the information you’ve chosen to provide. Based on which, YABVVU.

@glb1989 - a few questions .....

1. yes he should be supporting her if she's still in education - regardless if it's another level 3 "as this particular course is going nowhere" in your words - that's your opinion.

"should he have been there a second Mickey Mouse course wouldn’t have been the path" - again, your opinion. She is an adult and can make her own adult choices about her education.

2. we offered these young adults a holiday abd they asked mum (asked at 19!!) and were told their passports had been hidden. They wanted to come, she limited opportunity.
   If this was the case - why didn't the 19 year old cancel the own passport and reported it as lost? Then you could have purchased her another one. She is an adult at 18 and can do this.

3. "until he was invited on holiday, we had the son 50% " if this was the case why hasn't your husband attempted medication / filed a C100 form to court £255 cost and represent himself at the hearing. (If there is a previous court order then a C79 for enforcement?)

4. but this boils down to yea he should be supporting his daughter - whilst she is in education - weather you agree with it or not - it's clear as day in cms rules & regulations. His daughter could always move and live with you and him? Or have you not have her that option?

Yet another poster who starts a thread and then ridicules all the answers that don't accord with their own opinions.

It is no longer "the norm" to pull kids out of education and send them out to work at the earliest opportunity. Most people choose to support their children through higher education, in part because it's normal to want to give your children opportunities you may not have had. Your mentality of "I went out to work at 17 so they should too" is just ridiculous.

Since your beef seems to be with the mother of these girls, you should take it up with her instead of mouthing off about them only staying in education as a delay tactic. That's vile, and is your opinion, not an objective fact.

The law is clear maintenance should be paid whilst “child “ is in full time education or the Sept after completion eg a levels done and Sept payment stops. “Child takes another same level course “ payments continue until the Sept AFTER it stops.

You reckon you’ve paid off his ex wife’s kitchen and patio through your H paying child maintenance and they’re just keeping her in university to get more money off him? Tells me everything about the kind of person you are.

It's up to him. Legally he doesn't have to but if he wants to then fair enough. Lots of people choose to financially support their DC through both a gap year and university until they're like 24 or something. Some choose to financially support them during an unemployed gap or to gift a house deposit or buy a car. There's no moral rights or wrongs, it's literally parental choice.

You're not her parent which is why you feel differently about it. You married a man who had DC though, so you'll have to suck it up. Unless you're going to drip feed that you're living in poverty whilst he gives all this financial support to his DD or he's favouring her over his DC with you and not treating them equally?

So fe should pay it direct to his DD

He should pay direct to his daughter while she in full time education regardless of the course and whether you think is worthwhile

He does legally have too. If she's under twenty and on an approved full time course he has to pay child maintenance direct to the mum. My ex had to pay an extra year as my eldest did a level 4 after a levels and before university. My ex had to pay me directly as cms instruction

Ok. My bad.

I understand entirely your frustration. We went through the same with with my DSS, did a Btec and then wanted to do a further 1 year part time course (it could have and should have been done at the same time as the 2 year Btec) so my husband paid another year of maintenance. Also meant that DSS mum continued to claim child tax credits and child benefits, so she did encourage him as was in her benefit. You can't punnish the kids or weaponsie them, we just paid up and supported as the course is what DSS wanted to do at the time. Later regreats many of his educational choices. Then went on to Uni, that's a different story and not really relevant. DSS did also have a part time job, so did and still does understand the need to work to funds things.
However if my kids needed another year t get straight, I wouldnt stop them either. My kids have however got a good work ethic and have part time jobs from 16 also.

He does legally have too. If she's under twenty and on an approved full time course he has to pay child maintenance direct to the mum. My ex had to pay an extra year as my eldest did a level 4 after a levels and before university. My ex had to pay me directly as cms instruction