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Divorce/separation

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Much lower child maintenance awarded

118 replies

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 06:43

Hi everyone,

A bit of advice please. I finally bucked up the courage to apply for child maintenance a year after moving out and separating from my husband. I stupidly let him tell me that I wasn't entitled to it and that he would force 50/50 if I did it. I did it alone for a year but got myself into debt doing so and then I applied. He hit the roof and is now punishing me in other ways.

When I did the government calculator to try and see what I was entitled to it came back at just over £300 per month based on his salary and the number of nights a week he had our boys. I've since heard from the CMS to say that in fact I'll be receiving £170 per month which will start in June. I applied in March.

Does anyone know why it's now almost half the amount please? And also will this be backdated to when I applied?

Do the CMS take into consideration outgoing expenses for my husband? Since I've applied for CMS, my husband has now stopped paying the joint mortgage - almost £1k a month, (to punish me for applying). I was just wondering that if they do go on outgoings and disposable income then he's obviously telling the CMS that he has high outgoings which of course now he does not.

Why advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

OP posts:
Ereyraa · 16/05/2024 06:45

It’s based on overnights and salary alone.

Does he have/live with any other children. That reduces his payment amount to you.

WinchSparkle80 · 16/05/2024 06:49

He can reduce his earnings by shoving a load of £ into his pension/going part time/asking for demotion.

All out of spite….. sorry this is happening.

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 06:49

Ereyraa · 16/05/2024 06:45

It’s based on overnights and salary alone.

Does he have/live with any other children. That reduces his payment amount to you.

Thank you.

No he has no other children.

OP posts:
Bettyscakes · 16/05/2024 06:53

Call them up - he has maybe lied about how often he has them?

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 06:54

WinchSparkle80 · 16/05/2024 06:49

He can reduce his earnings by shoving a load of £ into his pension/going part time/asking for demotion.

All out of spite….. sorry this is happening.

Thank you!

He's told me he's stopped paying into his pension (which I don't believe). He's trying to tell me that based on that the gap in our pensions will be bigger (he'll be entitled to more of mine) come the financial hearing in October but I don't think he has and it's threats. He has a student loan also so they have probably taken that into consideration.

I don't think he would have the opportunity to change to part time or get demoted (he got promoted last year).

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 16/05/2024 06:55

my husband has now stopped paying the joint mortgage - almost £1k a month,
Are you both living there and paying towards the mortgage or was he paying it fully plus rent for wherever he is now?

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 06:57

DoreenonTill8 · 16/05/2024 06:55

my husband has now stopped paying the joint mortgage - almost £1k a month,
Are you both living there and paying towards the mortgage or was he paying it fully plus rent for wherever he is now?

He is living there alone (with the boys 40% of the time). I moved out a year ago and am paying rent for myself and the boys 60% of the time elsewhere.

OP posts:
DoreenonTill8 · 16/05/2024 06:57

Sorry just re read, you moved out and are paying rent? What an arse he is!

Bub1765 · 16/05/2024 07:06

He's not doing this to punish you, he will probably have been advised to do this by a solicitor. If he was paying a £1k mortgage on a house he wasn't living in for your benefit when he only had to pay £300 CMS it probably wasn't the most sensible thing to demand more money out of him. Now the situation has been aggravated and become acrimonious and he's obviously decided if you're going to throw the book at him, he's going to throw it right back at you.

As the sole occupant of the jointly owned house, it is likely if you took the matter to court you would be ordered to pay the full mortgage. His half could reasonably be covered by occupational rent paid by you as he is not able to live in the property. If you try and make him pay the mortgage he will probably try and move back in.

The CMS calculator also warns users that the amount will not necessarily reflect what is received. Depending on his age their guidelines could allow him to put a lot in a pension (at least 20% gross and more if he started saving late and is older). If he's travelling to see the children this will also be taken into account.

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 07:07

DoreenonTill8 · 16/05/2024 06:57

Sorry just re read, you moved out and are paying rent? What an arse he is!

Yes, threatening to make me get blacklisted so I accept his unfair financial settlement offer out of court. He's a charmer!

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 16/05/2024 07:12

Bub1765 · 16/05/2024 07:06

He's not doing this to punish you, he will probably have been advised to do this by a solicitor. If he was paying a £1k mortgage on a house he wasn't living in for your benefit when he only had to pay £300 CMS it probably wasn't the most sensible thing to demand more money out of him. Now the situation has been aggravated and become acrimonious and he's obviously decided if you're going to throw the book at him, he's going to throw it right back at you.

As the sole occupant of the jointly owned house, it is likely if you took the matter to court you would be ordered to pay the full mortgage. His half could reasonably be covered by occupational rent paid by you as he is not able to live in the property. If you try and make him pay the mortgage he will probably try and move back in.

The CMS calculator also warns users that the amount will not necessarily reflect what is received. Depending on his age their guidelines could allow him to put a lot in a pension (at least 20% gross and more if he started saving late and is older). If he's travelling to see the children this will also be taken into account.

The OP moved out not him

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 07:15

Bub1765 · 16/05/2024 07:06

He's not doing this to punish you, he will probably have been advised to do this by a solicitor. If he was paying a £1k mortgage on a house he wasn't living in for your benefit when he only had to pay £300 CMS it probably wasn't the most sensible thing to demand more money out of him. Now the situation has been aggravated and become acrimonious and he's obviously decided if you're going to throw the book at him, he's going to throw it right back at you.

As the sole occupant of the jointly owned house, it is likely if you took the matter to court you would be ordered to pay the full mortgage. His half could reasonably be covered by occupational rent paid by you as he is not able to live in the property. If you try and make him pay the mortgage he will probably try and move back in.

The CMS calculator also warns users that the amount will not necessarily reflect what is received. Depending on his age their guidelines could allow him to put a lot in a pension (at least 20% gross and more if he started saving late and is older). If he's travelling to see the children this will also be taken into account.

As I explained in my original post, I moved out of the family. He is the sole occupier in the home. If he can't afford to stay there why hasn't he agreed to put the house on the market and move into something that he can afford?

I very much doubt a solicitor would have informed him to stop paying the mortgage on a home he predominantly lives in alone, which will result in both of us getting blacklisted. Surely a solicitor would be advising him that he can't afford to live there (if this is the case) and that it's best for himself to sell the property?

OP posts:
Bub1765 · 16/05/2024 07:18

My mistake. In that case he's a bit of an idiot. He will soon find himself homeless with a trashed credit rating.

I'm not sure how a £170 CMS payment could stop him paying the full £1k either? At the very least he could protect his own credit rating by agreeing a lower payment for the next 6 months whilst the house is sold.

Does he know a poor credit rating could affect not just his ability to buy but also to rent and even in some cases his ability to work?

Confusedcrown · 16/05/2024 07:21

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 06:57

He is living there alone (with the boys 40% of the time). I moved out a year ago and am paying rent for myself and the boys 60% of the time elsewhere.

Sorry OP, he sounds like a charmer.

Did you put the right number of nights into the calculator? The amount due goes down based on the number of nights he has the kids e.g. if it was 50/50, nothing would be due. Him having them 40% of the time would reduce the amount he owes to you.

Good luck

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 07:27

Bub1765 · 16/05/2024 07:18

My mistake. In that case he's a bit of an idiot. He will soon find himself homeless with a trashed credit rating.

I'm not sure how a £170 CMS payment could stop him paying the full £1k either? At the very least he could protect his own credit rating by agreeing a lower payment for the next 6 months whilst the house is sold.

Does he know a poor credit rating could affect not just his ability to buy but also to rent and even in some cases his ability to work?

He probably doesn't care about getting a bad credit rating because he has been lent money from his family to buy me out of the house and pay off the existing mortgage so it potentially might not affect him. (I wasn't aware that it could affect his employment and I doubt he does). It will affect me however as I'm renting at the moment and will have to move again at some point (he knows this).

A £170 CMS payment doesn't stop him from making the mortgage payment. I have agreed with the lender to pay an interest only amount until we go to court (which will be lower with the maintenance payment the the full mortgage) but he has said he doesn't want that and will be cancelling it if I do it. So unless I pay the whole mortgage (as well as my own rent) where me and boys will be able to live in the future will be drastically affected.

OP posts:
OatFlatWhiteForMe · 16/05/2024 07:30

Did you include extra nights like a summer holiday or nights in the school holidays? I’m wondering if he has said it’s 50/50 overall.

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 16/05/2024 07:31

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 07:27

He probably doesn't care about getting a bad credit rating because he has been lent money from his family to buy me out of the house and pay off the existing mortgage so it potentially might not affect him. (I wasn't aware that it could affect his employment and I doubt he does). It will affect me however as I'm renting at the moment and will have to move again at some point (he knows this).

A £170 CMS payment doesn't stop him from making the mortgage payment. I have agreed with the lender to pay an interest only amount until we go to court (which will be lower with the maintenance payment the the full mortgage) but he has said he doesn't want that and will be cancelling it if I do it. So unless I pay the whole mortgage (as well as my own rent) where me and boys will be able to live in the future will be drastically affected.

He can’t cancel a payment you make to the mortgage lender.

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 07:34

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 16/05/2024 07:31

He can’t cancel a payment you make to the mortgage lender.

No he's saying that he will cancel my option to switch it to interest only so essentially make me pay the full amount as opposed to the reduced interest only amount.

OP posts:
Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 07:37

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 16/05/2024 07:30

Did you include extra nights like a summer holiday or nights in the school holidays? I’m wondering if he has said it’s 50/50 overall.

Thank you!

I wasn't given the option to include school holidays etc and this hasn't been discussed in court yet so I'm not sure at the moment how this will look going forward. In previous school holidays he's insisted on us staying on the same schedule as we're on at the moment.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 16/05/2024 07:37

Bub1765 · 16/05/2024 07:06

He's not doing this to punish you, he will probably have been advised to do this by a solicitor. If he was paying a £1k mortgage on a house he wasn't living in for your benefit when he only had to pay £300 CMS it probably wasn't the most sensible thing to demand more money out of him. Now the situation has been aggravated and become acrimonious and he's obviously decided if you're going to throw the book at him, he's going to throw it right back at you.

As the sole occupant of the jointly owned house, it is likely if you took the matter to court you would be ordered to pay the full mortgage. His half could reasonably be covered by occupational rent paid by you as he is not able to live in the property. If you try and make him pay the mortgage he will probably try and move back in.

The CMS calculator also warns users that the amount will not necessarily reflect what is received. Depending on his age their guidelines could allow him to put a lot in a pension (at least 20% gross and more if he started saving late and is older). If he's travelling to see the children this will also be taken into account.

OP has clearly stayed she lives in rented accommodation elsewhere with boys 60 percent of time. Her ex lives in the house he's stopped paying mortgage on 40 percent of the time.

caringcarer · 16/05/2024 07:42

OP could you apply to your mortgage company to have a payment holiday for 3 months and try to get it to court quickly?

Emsy999 · 16/05/2024 07:49

caringcarer · 16/05/2024 07:42

OP could you apply to your mortgage company to have a payment holiday for 3 months and try to get it to court quickly?

Thank you!

We had a payment holiday during Covid so as far as I'm aware you can't have two otherwise I'd definitely be asking them for it. Based on his threat about cancelling the interest only option, I'm sure he would cancel that also if it was even an option.

OP posts:
sashh · 16/05/2024 09:45

Bub1765 · 16/05/2024 07:06

He's not doing this to punish you, he will probably have been advised to do this by a solicitor. If he was paying a £1k mortgage on a house he wasn't living in for your benefit when he only had to pay £300 CMS it probably wasn't the most sensible thing to demand more money out of him. Now the situation has been aggravated and become acrimonious and he's obviously decided if you're going to throw the book at him, he's going to throw it right back at you.

As the sole occupant of the jointly owned house, it is likely if you took the matter to court you would be ordered to pay the full mortgage. His half could reasonably be covered by occupational rent paid by you as he is not able to live in the property. If you try and make him pay the mortgage he will probably try and move back in.

The CMS calculator also warns users that the amount will not necessarily reflect what is received. Depending on his age their guidelines could allow him to put a lot in a pension (at least 20% gross and more if he started saving late and is older). If he's travelling to see the children this will also be taken into account.

He is living in the house alone except from when the children stay. Why on earth would the OP have to pay his mortgage and her rent?

OP

If he is not paying the rent you need to see a solicitor.

I can't remember the actual term but you need the house to be split so you both own a part of it rather than jointly owning it.

Choochoo21 · 16/05/2024 10:01

When I did the government calculator to try and see what I was entitled to it came back at just over £300 per month based on his salary and the number of nights a week he had our boys. I've since heard from the CMS to say that in fact I'll be receiving £170 per month which will start in June. I applied in March.

Either his income has changed or the amount of nights he’s having them has changed since you applied.

If you don’t think anything has changed then give them a ring and query it.

FatfunandADHD · 16/05/2024 10:16

OP - what is your solicitor saying about this latest move? Has a strongly worded letter been written to him.

In terms of your original question I suspect his Student Loan and pension will be the cause of the payment being lower than the CMS calculation. I presume you have looked at UC and are claiming child benefit etc.

My advice would be to get written confirmation from the bank about the current outstanding mortgage value at the time a) that you moved out and b) he has stopped paying the mortgage. It will be very reasonable for you to ask the court to award you backdated settlement on the mortgage you have been paying. Or use that figure as the calculation figure for deciding the available capital in the property.