Much lower child maintenance awarded

[Emsy999]

Hi everyone,

A bit of advice please. I finally bucked up the courage to apply for child maintenance a year after moving out and separating from my husband. I stupidly let him tell me that I wasn't entitled to it and that he would force 50/50 if I did it. I did it alone for a year but got myself into debt doing so and then I applied. He hit the roof and is now punishing me in other ways.

When I did the government calculator to try and see what I was entitled to it came back at just over £300 per month based on his salary and the number of nights a week he had our boys. I've since heard from the CMS to say that in fact I'll be receiving £170 per month which will start in June. I applied in March.

Does anyone know why it's now almost half the amount please? And also will this be backdated to when I applied?

Do the CMS take into consideration outgoing expenses for my husband? Since I've applied for CMS, my husband has now stopped paying the joint mortgage - almost £1k a month, (to punish me for applying). I was just wondering that if they do go on outgoings and disposable income then he's obviously telling the CMS that he has high outgoings which of course now he does not.

Why advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

No advice op but fucking hell he's a wanker.

Unless I pay more money to ask for the court hearing to be brought forward we're having to wait until October. Everything just takes so long, I doubt we'd get a date before then anyway.

I will speak to the lender again and plead with them. Thank you!

So sorry to hear you and your family had to go through this. If only these people knew that their actions have so many negative consequences.

Mortgage lenders are increasingly being trained in how to spot economic abuse - partners/ex partners using financial tactics to punish/frighten women.

I don't know who your lender is but Surviving Economic Abuse charity have advice about what do when ex is forcing someone into mortgage arrears - apparently may be additional help as long as you frame it as abuse which given what you've hinted at may be relevant here https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/i-need-help/housing/staying-on-the-property-ladder-married/#:~:text=The%20abuser%20may%20have%20forced,re%2Dpayment%20of%20the%20debts.

there is also a helpfline specifically for financial abuse To contact the Financial Support line for advice and guidance call our freephone number 08081968845 between 9am–5pm Monday to Friday

and before people question this wehther it constitutes finacnail abuse - OP's X only stopped paying mortgage when she rightly claimed CMS - this is using money to punish someone - and he is pushing her into a corner - if he has so much family money they are paying off the mortgage eventually then of course he can bloody afford it and it only became an issue when she claimed CMS. he is a bully who has run of out ideas about how to make OP pay for having the audacity to leave his sorry arse

i'm so sorry OP. it's tough - but his behaviour is all the evidence you need thank god you left him. what a cruel piece of shit.

Sorry you are going through this, I understand how hellish it is.
Not that it really helps but my ex was a high earner and I had the children 100% of the time.Through CMS I think I was receiving £400 monthly, I am pretty certain he was generously topping up his pension to avoid paying more. As he owned an LTD company I then requested his dividends be taken in to account.
I ended up self representing in court as I could no longer afford a solicitor. Ahuge amount of work but no one will care as much about your case as you do.
Speak to the bank and good luck.

Have you reported his abuse ? Even to women’s aid. If not make a report and log it with the police. This is effectively coercive control and financial abuse. Apply for an occupation order that gives you sole residency in the family home. Get the child benefit in your name.

This is the best way to face him out.

Hello there,

I've just logged into the CMS portal and looked at the calculations and how they've worked it out. They have his yearly gross income at almost £11k less then what it is. But it says "this figure is before Tax and NI but any employer or private pension contributions have already been taken off". So £11k on pension contributions a year. The majority of that is from his employer contributions so why would they reduce his CM payment to me because of that? That's not him paying it out is it?

Thank you so so much for this xx

I will speak to the mortgage lender again tomorrow and see if there is any possibility of another payment holiday. He was planning on buying me out but I think it's too late for that now. I will be requesting that the house be put on the market I think. How can he expect to stay there after saying he can't afford the mortgage? It's beyond crazy.

I will look into the link also so thank you for that.

You have literally described him to a tee. He will try and punish me however he can for leaving. He's done it with childcare arrangements as well. I can't wait until the day I am free of him.

Sorry to hear you've been through something similar.

Well done on representing yourself. I hear it's very daunting. I'm really nervous about it to be honest.

I have reported it to Women's Aid, Refuge and logged it with the police. The police said that if there is no threat of harm then they can't press charges. No threat of physical harm but what is it doing to me mentally. I can't sleep, I can hardly eat. It's taking a real toll.

I will look into an occupation order. I honestly don't know how he can expect to stay in the house after all this. Surely the court won't allow him to?

They’ll reduce it based on his pay less his pension contributions- they won’t include employer pension contributions.

For the sake of £170 can you say you’ll drop the CM if he pays the mortgage again and then bide your time till the court date when you can show all your evidence?

I am wondering if he claims child benefit for one of the children if he has somehow used this to his advantage so that you can only claim for the one child that is technically living with you. As child maintenance takes that into account - one of my boys moved in with their dad and despite me having the other 3 children I still had to pay him child maintenance for son.

So looking at the last payslip I've seen which was December last year the CMS have listed his gross pay at almost £11k lower. Which must be his own pension contributions?
How can he afford not to pay the mortgage when he's paying that much into his pension?

@AIBunnecessary exactly what I was thinking.

You need to contact CB and explain it isn't 50:50 and you were coerced into handing it over and he financially abusing you.

All your evidence of 60:40 split and that you do GP and dentist appointments etc.

He is the most stubborn person I know and will just come back with rubbish like "see, you've made a mistake haven't you, you shouldn't have applied for CMS" and he just won't accept it. If he's said he won't pay the mortgage, he won't pay it (even if I were to give him the £170 back).

Ask CMS to apply his salary for the tax year just ended, they may have used the prior year if you claimed in March.

Either way phone and speak to them, you can ask what evidence of current earnings they are using.

On the CMS calculations that I saw yesterday our two boys are included in the calculations so it's not the fact that he applies for child benefit for one of them.

It's obviously the huge discrepancy between the latest gross figure I have (from the last payslip I saw from December) to what the CMS has as his gross figure. Which must just be his own pension contributions (which for the record) he's told me he's stopped which is another reason (according to him) I should settle with him out of court because the gap between our pensions will be bigger come October and he'll be entitled to more of mine.

This man really is a prince.

They base his salary on the previous years income from his tax return or P60. So if he’s stopped paying his pension you’ll see an increase next year.

Is his pension via a salary sacrifice scheme ( my employer one us). That might be it

i think you need to

move back in ( understand his stressful that is but you’re now taking control and playing him at his own game. He won’t pay , so you move back in
give notice on your rental as soon as you can
apply for interim financial remedy ( ie ancillary relief from him as he’s stopped paying)seek advice from solicitor about applying for this
seek occupation order
soeak to lender again to see if they will consider anything for temporary period

You will only get CMS for the child you claim CB for. He could claim CM from you for your other child. In my experience, CMS were useless. As for the house, the financial order will set a timeframe for him to buy you out or for a sale. It's important that the court are made aware that he is trying to bully you so as to not to be fair.

Financial abuse. Speak to your bank, we are trained for circumstances like yours.

You can ask them to do it off his current salary as his wages have gone up so much.

Check it is for both DC.

Get CB moved to you.

OP, this man has a history of being nasty so you need to get into the mentality of not believing everything he says. I say this because you said that your ex said that he stopped paying into a pension. You need to take anything he says with a pinch of salt and not take it as the truth. You’ll find out more through official channels.

Is he self employed ? This is a loophole that is used to get out of CM payments. If he is them expect more cuts to this figure. Is the business owned by his family so might pay him partly cash in hand? The increase in pension contributions is most likely but these are some other considerations.

Are his family wealthy enough to buy him a house outright after the divorce ? That could be why he doesn’t care about his credit record.

When is the mortgage payment due each month? I would call the mortgage company and find out if he’s really stopped paying or is using threats to scare you and keep you in line. As I said before, you can’t trust this man and he knows you and what scares you the most.

How old is the child that he gets child benefit for? Being the CB claiming parent could be used to control you at a later date eg trying to influence which schools your child attends or which GP he is registered with etc If ex is likely to be a higher earner than you then the child could end up being entitled to less university loan and he could use the funding that he’s supposed to top up with as a means to control the child.