Much lower child maintenance awarded

[Emsy999]

Hi everyone,

A bit of advice please. I finally bucked up the courage to apply for child maintenance a year after moving out and separating from my husband. I stupidly let him tell me that I wasn't entitled to it and that he would force 50/50 if I did it. I did it alone for a year but got myself into debt doing so and then I applied. He hit the roof and is now punishing me in other ways.

When I did the government calculator to try and see what I was entitled to it came back at just over £300 per month based on his salary and the number of nights a week he had our boys. I've since heard from the CMS to say that in fact I'll be receiving £170 per month which will start in June. I applied in March.

Does anyone know why it's now almost half the amount please? And also will this be backdated to when I applied?

Do the CMS take into consideration outgoing expenses for my husband? Since I've applied for CMS, my husband has now stopped paying the joint mortgage - almost £1k a month, (to punish me for applying). I was just wondering that if they do go on outgoings and disposable income then he's obviously telling the CMS that he has high outgoings which of course now he does not.

Why advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

If he was paying the joint mortgage, why did you apply?. You have shot yourself in the foot

Op I really feel for you.

One thing I did was put the mortgage in dispute - think that's what it was called. Basically it stops one party being able to unilaterally make decisions about the act. Could you ensure the interest only is set up and then put it in dispute so he can't change it? Then (sadly) pay that in the interim but look to claim it back at court as you can put costs against him? Also def claim both amounts of CB as kids are with you as the primary carer? You can also claim council tax support, free prescriptions etc. depending on your income. Please protect yourself as much as you can as clearly he is playing really nasty. Trust in the process as court will not be impressed with him defaulting on the mortgage. It's good he's PAYE as nowhere to hide but make sure he's disclosed all his acts and 'gifts' from family so you get the right split. You could argue for a greater share of assets if your needs cannot be met on 50-50. Fight your corner and don't be bullied (I know how very hard just it but stay strong!).

You need to get all this straightened out as strictly speaking you're not entitled to CMS because you don't get the child benefit. He could fight that and leave you with less.

Why did I apply for child maintenance a year after we separated? I suppose the same reason that most people do. I was in financial difficulty doing it all myself for the last year and I thought that he should be contributing. He was living there alone, paying the mortgage but I'd also asked him to put the house on the market when I moved out, for which he refused and said that he could afford it. If he can't afford to pay child maintenance for his children and the mortgage where he lives, I don't think it's unreasonable of me to think that he should be maybe looking for alternative accommodation?

Check if your CMS award is for both children or just one

he may have used getting the Child benefit as proof he is the resident parent of one of your children.

You need to get that changed in case he tries to claim maintenance from you using it.

I have seen the CMS calculations and it's definitely for both of our boys.

I will look into getting the child benefit for one of our sons back but I wouldn't know what to say to them. He bullied me into surrendering it saying that I'd left him in financial ruin and he was entitled to claim for one of them. Stupidly I believed him. He really knows how to intimidate me and make me feel guilty.

Just apply to CB for it and let them sort it.

In a dispute they’ll look into things like who takes them to the dentist, who takes them to the doctor, and in your case you’ll be able to show the maintenance claim as proof that you are the RP

Appeal to CMS and have them double check all the figures. Run them through the calculator again yourself.
They don’t take outgoings into account beyond pension (so if he’s stopped his pension his amount would actually go up).

The bank need to be told this. They have obligations under the consumer duty. Remind them of this.

Sorry dear, I realised later that he was the one living there. I think you should have said that in the original post. You were 💯💯💯 to apply for cms. He is an absolute ASSHOLE!. I hope you are able to sort it out. Disbyou try asking the bank about you paying half and them not reporting on your credit report?

Also, can you stop paying your pension contributions as well for now and use the money towards the mortgage instead?. That kills 2 birds with one stone. Your pension won't be more than his then.

Ex has messaged me today to say that he's received a letter from the lender to say that we've been switched over to an interest only mortgage and that he's just contacted them to cancel this because he didn't agree to this and it has been changed without his consent.

Now back to square one....

Hi, I have been trying to call the helpline number for the last two hours and no luck. Very busy no doubt which is so awful. Awful to know there are so many other people in a similar situation.

The lack of rational thinking in this man is insane. Have you asked him outright why he feels he is entitled to have to make no financial contribution to the mortgage which is currently the roof over his head?

Rational thinking isn't his strong point unfortunately.

He told me in his first correspondence with me when he stopped the mortgage direct debit why he did it. He claims that he stopped it because of my poorly timed application for child maintenance (we have the child dispute resolution hearing next week) and he claims the arrangements could change after this (he's going for 50/50). It is definitely poorly timed on my part.... I should have done it a year ago.

Hello everyone,

Another update for you all as my ex is literally relentless.

He's claiming that he has spoken to our lender today to discuss me changing the mortgage to interest only last week. He is now saying that the lender has said that when I signed up for the interest only mortgage I stated that I had authorisation from both parties and they've said that that accounts to fraud and he will certainly be making the court aware of this.

Now I don't know if they've said this to him or if he's just trying to scare me and throw more threats at me. Surely the court will see why I had to do this?

He is again telling me that my best option is to accept his offer which I know it isn't. He's absolutely relentless.

Try to keep all communication in writing. So you have proof of how underhand he really is.

Thank you. Thankfully that's easy as he can't communicate with me face to face and puts it all in texts/emails.

He's clever as there's never any threat of harm but it's all emotional abuse. Threats, intimidation, criticism... all used to try and control me and essentially punish me for leaving him and breaking up the family (his words).

I have spoken to the police (prior to this latest mortgage episode) and they have said it's coercive control but because there's no threat of harm they can't do anything about it which I find irritating. Just one little word to my ex would I think stop all of this.

You’re jointly and severally liable for your mortgage. So you would be able to authorise interest only payments as an individual. It’s not fraudulent to enquire. Tell him to FO.