Much lower child maintenance awarded

[Emsy999]

Hi everyone,

A bit of advice please. I finally bucked up the courage to apply for child maintenance a year after moving out and separating from my husband. I stupidly let him tell me that I wasn't entitled to it and that he would force 50/50 if I did it. I did it alone for a year but got myself into debt doing so and then I applied. He hit the roof and is now punishing me in other ways.

When I did the government calculator to try and see what I was entitled to it came back at just over £300 per month based on his salary and the number of nights a week he had our boys. I've since heard from the CMS to say that in fact I'll be receiving £170 per month which will start in June. I applied in March.

Does anyone know why it's now almost half the amount please? And also will this be backdated to when I applied?

Do the CMS take into consideration outgoing expenses for my husband? Since I've applied for CMS, my husband has now stopped paying the joint mortgage - almost £1k a month, (to punish me for applying). I was just wondering that if they do go on outgoings and disposable income then he's obviously telling the CMS that he has high outgoings which of course now he does not.

Why advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Thank you for your reply.

He's stating that he's stopped his pension so the difference will be bigger when we have the court hearing in October (in his favour). I realise he can do this but will the court not take this into consideration when we have our hearing?

If I've stated the amount of days he has them and then he says it's different surely they'd look into it and see which one of us is telling porky pies?

Not that quickly he can’t - it’s based on the previous years earnings, so if that were the case it would still be high initially.

Sorry OP, sounds like you’ve shot yourself in the foot. If he was paying £1k towards the mortgage what did you expect?

You need to initiate your divorce and see what you’re entitled to for a financial settlement.

I have been speaking to my solicitor over email and have sent her all his threatening emails. She can see (and has told me) that what he is doing is completely wrong and that he will be criticised for it by the court but hasn't told me what the hell to do. If I email her back and ask her it'll be another £100. I'm just running into so much debt trying to get answers from anyone as to what to do for the best so I don't get blacklisted. I don't have the money to pay the mortgage (as well as my own rent) but avoiding getting bad credit is a top priority.

Sorry OP. I also wrongly assumed you were living in the house he was paying towards.

The number of nights has definitely not changed and unless he's requested for his salary to re reduced I can't see that happening either.

Do you think the CMS will speak to me about it?

My solicitor has said how disgusting his behaviour is but hasn't told me what to do. She's probably waiting for me to ask her and then can charge me another £100. The solicitors fees are horrendous.

Yes, I claim UC to help me but only receive Child Benefit for one of our sons as my husband claims for the other (more threats for me to agree to this).

If the CMS will speak to me then I will ask them about his pension as he has told me he has stopped paying into this.

Yes I moved out a year ago and asked him to put the house on the market then. He refused and said he wanted to stay and could afford it. I paid 3 months worth of mortgage after I moved out but just couldn't afford it (as well as my own rent) any longer and still he stated he wanted to stay there. Now because the court hearing is coming up in October and because I've applied for CMS (after paying for ALL the children's expenses for the last year) he is going to default on the mortgage unless I agree on his offer.

Is there anyway you can move back into the house and stop your need to pay rent ??

understand it’s awful

Would increasing the CMS by £150 make the difference to allow you to pay your mortgage and your rent. Whilst I understand it might be a quick win, I would be surprised if this would be sufficient to get you through this financial hurdle.

I am sure some of the below you have already tried but:

Have the mortgage company offered any advice on what to do?

Is your landlord aware of the situation (are they a large company or a small individual)

Have you asked your solicitor if she can hold off invoicing you for a few months till you have a way out of this situation? Could you try and call a different solicitors for their 30 minutes of advice call?

It seems your ex is very unreasonable, is there a family member or friend who you both respect who you could speak to and see if they can assist you in getting him to be reasonable?

Thanks for your message.

There is just no way I can be around him. The abuse and threats are just horrendous and it would really confuse the boys.

Send him a bill for renting your half of the house, pay nothing towards it. If he doesn't pay put the house up for rent. Make sure you remove your name from all bills. Get evidence of the gift from his family to buy you out as that is evidence his needs are significantly less than yours and will be taken into account in Court, as will all of his behaviour.

Document everything, keep a daily diary of everything, what he is costing you, his lack of child support, contact with the children and his abuse. Aim to have all these extra costs and lack of child support taken from his share of the equity. If there is significant abuse look at getting an occupation order on the house. Contact CMS and clarify, no doubt he had lied to them. As my charming ex says, always take a gun to a knife fight.

Wow I could’ve written this word for word OP

sorry you’re going through this - I contacted the mortgage company and literally bombarded them with admin proving I was paying half of the mortgage (soley)as I didn’t want to have my credit score trashed (my exh was being bank rolled by his rich family too) I had a good lawyer who advised this and it stood me in good stead leading up to our court case - I was also paying the full rent on where me and the kids were living at the time- my advice is talk to people and let them know - my mortgage company were amazing!

If you’re the primary carer could you move back for a short period with a view to getting an occupation order and him leaving? Obviously hindsight a wonderful thing but that was probably what you should have done rather than leave.

Sorry, I don't quite understand your question? Increase the CMS by £150? I've been granted £170pm by the CMS so I will have to put all of that towards paying the mortgage for him but it will be nowhere near the £1k mortgage amount or the £650 interest only amount I've discussed with the lender (but even that's a big IF if he cancels the interest only option like he's threatened to).

My current landlord is an individual and probably won't be too bothered as long as I pay my rent which of course I have to to keep a roof over mine and the boy's heads. It's a shame my husband isn't thinking the same.

Thank you!

So your advice is for me to try and somehow find the mortgage amount? He has said he is not going to pay any of it and so we will both be blacklisted. But again this won't affect him because he has his family's money so won't need a mortgage. I will have to pay it all. I have no idea where I will find it from but if I could I would hope that the court will take this into consideration come the hearing in October? It is such a long way off I'm potentially going to have to find £6k (as well as my own rent) whilst he has his salary coming in and not paying any of it out so living rent free. SURELY this will go against him in court? If anything his savings will be higher right 🥴 but knowing him he'll try and dwindle or stash it away somewhere.

I'm so sorry you have been through similar. Did it all work out ok for you? Did the court come down hard on your ex's behaviour?

Genuine question, do solicitors really advise people not to pay their mortgage?

Asking because 15 years ago my dad stopped paying the mortgage on the family home when my mum wanted a divorce, mum couldnt afford the payments alone and house ended up being sold to the council. It was a very stressful time for us kids

Just to add as well. I understand that times are hard and he might not be able to afford to pay the mortgage but surely if that's the case we should be putting the house on the market and he should be finding alternative accommodation that he can afford? He's rejecting any offer to put it on the market but is refusing to pay the mortgage. What is going on in his head?

CMS can take account of joint debts. I would speak to CMS - they will be able to tell you exactly how they have calculated it. In fact you should have received that breakdown with the figure - have you logged into the portal?

Can you get an estate agent in to value the house and prepare photos etc to market it? Do it when he is at work so won't even know. Then as soon as the judge gives you permission to sell you'll be ready to get it on to the market. In the meantime speak to mortgage company explain the situation and even though you had a mortgage holiday during COVID they might let you have another one. You have nothing to lose by asking and also tell them as soon as you get to court the house will be sold.

You really need to talk to the mortgage company. And keep trying until you can speak to someone helpful if the first person isn't listening. You need to explain to them what is happening and ask what the best course of action is. I'm not sure if he can object to the interest only option if he isn't actually paying anything

It’s tough shit isn’t it? They’ll be jointly and severally liable. The lender isn’t going to get involved in disputes.

As he claims child benefit for one of the dc could he have told cms he lives with him so is only paying for one?

I think the fact that he receives Child Benefit for one of the children might have an impact on this. They may assume you are the NRP for that child?

From Citizens Advice:

You can apply to the CMS if you’re the person with day-to-day care of the child. You could be their parent or someone else - like a grandparent. You must be entitled to Child Benefit for the child.