Much lower child maintenance awarded

[Emsy999]

Hi everyone,

A bit of advice please. I finally bucked up the courage to apply for child maintenance a year after moving out and separating from my husband. I stupidly let him tell me that I wasn't entitled to it and that he would force 50/50 if I did it. I did it alone for a year but got myself into debt doing so and then I applied. He hit the roof and is now punishing me in other ways.

When I did the government calculator to try and see what I was entitled to it came back at just over £300 per month based on his salary and the number of nights a week he had our boys. I've since heard from the CMS to say that in fact I'll be receiving £170 per month which will start in June. I applied in March.

Does anyone know why it's now almost half the amount please? And also will this be backdated to when I applied?

Do the CMS take into consideration outgoing expenses for my husband? Since I've applied for CMS, my husband has now stopped paying the joint mortgage - almost £1k a month, (to punish me for applying). I was just wondering that if they do go on outgoings and disposable income then he's obviously telling the CMS that he has high outgoings which of course now he does not.

Why advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Thank you!

I'm actually not sure if I will be agreeing to him buying me out now. After all these awful things he's done to me and then be able to stay in the house he claims he can't afford to pay the mortgage for. I mean how will that be possible?

Anyway he's saying (and I don't believe a word he says anyway) that his family's loan will only cover the settlement amount that he is offering me (highly likely another threat) so it might be possible that he can't stay there anyway. Surely he can't if he's claiming he can't afford the mortgage.

The calculations are definitely for both boys.

Yes, he got a pay rise last year so I'll speak to the CMS.

Thank you.

Oh I'm aware that what he says to me is probably a load of rubbish and it's just threats after threats to get me to do what he wants me to do. And when I don't he turns extra nasty and punishes me somehow.

He is PAYE through a company.

His family aren't rich. I think he's actually pressured them into agreeing to loan him the money anyway (a whole different story which I won't go into) but I'm very confident that my ex has coercised them into agreeing to this loan. His plan is for his family to loan him the money to buy me out and pay off the mortgage which will enable him to stay in the house without a mortgage and only a £400pm payment back to his family. Hence he won't need good credit (either for another mortgage or to rent). He has been scheming all along and me applying for child maintenance has just given him the reason (lie) that he can't afford it, which I know he can. He has access to his family's money now so everything about his inability to afford the mortgage is rubbish. He's stating that he won't pay off the mortgage before the court hearing because I will then go for half the house value (instead of just the equity) if that makes sense.

Please get the CB for the other child too.

It will give your increased UC if you ever need to claim it.

Please do call your bank. Banks have had obligations to "vulnerable customers" for some time now and this has become more prevalent under the new Consumer Duty. Divorcees are categorised as vulnerable customers and there is an expectation on banks that they will support you.

One thing that is quite common during divorce for example is that a fixed rate ends and the person not paying the mortgage/living in the house refuses to re-fix, forcing the other to pay the standard variable rate which is always higher. Whilst banks cannot force a re-fix without the consent of all the borrowers, in these circumstances they will move the mortgage onto a tracker to reduce the overall interest burden.

In your situation I'm not sure if they can outright change the product to interest only without your ex's consent but they may be able to grant a payment holiday, justifying it on the grounds that he's a vulnerable customer and because he isn't paying the mortgage anyway its in his own interests. I say "may" because mortgages are not my area of expertise but it's worth giving the bank a call and seeing what they can do. Make it clear to them that you are divorcing.

You can probably charge him occupational rent on the family home if you pay the mortgage for it

Have you threatened to move back in if he doesn't pay it?

Thanks. I don't really know much about occupational rent but I'll look into it. Do I have to apply to the court for that?

I just can't move back in. I was sleeping on the floor in my son's bedroom and it was such a toxic atmosphere for the boys.

I have literally just come off the phone now to my lender (NatWest) and they were absolutely no help at all. I told them the whole story, what my ex has been doing and how I'm not sleeping with the threat of getting blacklisted and how I can't physically afford my rent as well as the mortgage. She was very sympathetic, said that she understands the situation but said because we had already had a payment holiday we can't have another. She also told me that I shouldn't have really changed it to an interest only because he hasn't agreed to it as well. I basically told her that my only hope is that he doesn't realise and cancels the interest only mortgage that I've agreed to and that I am going to have to go further into debt to pay it (on credit cards).

I just don't know what to do. I am cracking.

As my previous post has said I've just got off the phone to my lender and they were no help at all.

Agreeing to another payment holiday is obviously not something that they can agree to even in these circumstances (blatant financial abuse).

I don't know where to turn now.

Can I confirm that you were clear with them:

1. That you are divorcing; and
2. That you don't know how you are going to pay for the mortgage.

Also, did you ask to escalate the matter if the first person you spoke to was no help?

@Emsy999 I'm sorry to hear they were no help. Have you called the helpline number in my post? You should get through to a specialist in financial abuse. I know that charity well and it works with all the big banks. You should call them, explain your ex is forcing you into debt and ruining your credit rating to punish you. Tell them natwest were no help. This kind of manipulative behavior is their bread and butter. They may know what you need to say to Natwest to access their specialist support

I told her that we are divorcing and that we will be selling the property as soon as we've been to court. Made no difference. She put me on hold whilst she spoke to her supervisor who also was no help so I'm back to square one.

I haven't called the helpline number and I'm just out the door to pick up my eldest from school now. I will have to call them tomorrow when my youngest is napping.

I hope they can help me because at the moment my credit card is my only option. I just can't get blacklisted.

Thank you so much again ladies xx

If he's receiving child benefit for your other child then he'd be able to use this as evidence your other child is living there full time as CB goes to the resident parent which probably answers your question as to why you only receive £170 a month CM payments.

Thank you. I've looked at the CMS calculations and it looks like they've used his salary from his P60 from last year. The CMS calculations are for both of our two boys.

Have you contacted your solicitor OP?

I think a well written complaint might get traction with the right people. You will need to made it clear that you understand you are a vulnerable customer and that you may be receiving financial abuse.

At the moment you're hitting the "call centre wall." As a compliance professional, I'd be a little worried if my call centre were being this unhelpful.

New P60 will have been issued so ask for a reassessment on that.

I emailed her the trail of emails I've received from him and she's seen everything. She replied and said that she doesn't think it's reasonable for my ex to fail to pay towards the mortgage and he would be criticised for it and the court will take a dim view on it seeing as he's the only party in residence. And that's it.... Absolutely nothing that I didn't know already. She's not given me any advice as to what to do next. I can call or email her back but it's just more expense that will possibly be better spent on paying the mortgage (for him) which will keep me from getting blacklisted. It's a proper s**t show!

That's on my list of phone calls tomorrow!
Thank you x

Thank you! I'm up against a timer as the mortgage needs to be paid by the end of the month so I'm going to have to put it on my credit card. It's the only way I can pay it.

You’re not paying the mortgage just for him OP. You’ll be entitled to your share when you get to court.