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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Can my husband force house sale in divorce?

256 replies

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 11:43

Hi.
I'm currently going through a divorce with my husband. We have a 13yo daughter together, I also have a 19yo son and a 17yo daughter from a previous relationship. My 13yo and my 19yo both live with me in a 4 bedroom house. I have a joint mortgage with my husband, he has moved out and is privately renting a 2bed flat and I currently pay the full mortgage and bills. My husband has our daughter overnight one night a week and once in the week for dinner. He does pay child maintenance.
We have 165k equity in our property, however we purchased it for a low price with no deposit from my family. Could I be forced to sell if I won't buy him out?
Thanks :)

OP posts:
wildwestpioneer · 06/12/2023 21:19

In the uk I didn't think you could force a sale until the child is over 18?

But you will have to continue to pay the mortgage and when your dc is 18, he can force a sale and will still be entitled to 50% of the equity, even though you've paid 100% of the mortgage for the last 5 years.

Unless you can get him to sign an agreement (deed of trust I think it's called) that states he will be entitled to 50% of the equity as it stands now and not have any claim to future equity, but by the sounds of things he'll simply refuse that as he wants the equity now.

I stayed in the marital home and paid 100% of the mortgage for two years after my ex left and he was still entitled to 50%

SgtJuneAckland · 06/12/2023 21:24

If you bought the house for a reduced price could you work out what he paid towards the deposit plus interest (this will only be reasonable if it was a relatively recent purchase not twenty odd years ago). Legally he will be entitled to more but if it avoids court legal fees etc and he thinks well that's how much I put in plus interest, round it up too, generously. He might be minded to move on and avoid the court battle.

200k for a 2 bed in a nice area seems very reasonable to me! Can't get a one bed flat here for that

Crikeyalmighty · 06/12/2023 21:29

This is either complete bullshit or you are just a very naive person.

Why on earth would he not claim what he is entitled to- you certainly would if the situation was reversed ,

Getthethrowonthesofa · 06/12/2023 21:32

wildwestpioneer · 06/12/2023 21:19

In the uk I didn't think you could force a sale until the child is over 18?

But you will have to continue to pay the mortgage and when your dc is 18, he can force a sale and will still be entitled to 50% of the equity, even though you've paid 100% of the mortgage for the last 5 years.

Unless you can get him to sign an agreement (deed of trust I think it's called) that states he will be entitled to 50% of the equity as it stands now and not have any claim to future equity, but by the sounds of things he'll simply refuse that as he wants the equity now.

I stayed in the marital home and paid 100% of the mortgage for two years after my ex left and he was still entitled to 50%

Yes of course you can force a sale before 18, what are you thinking happens every day multiple times.

Getthethrowonthesofa · 06/12/2023 21:33

SgtJuneAckland · 06/12/2023 21:24

If you bought the house for a reduced price could you work out what he paid towards the deposit plus interest (this will only be reasonable if it was a relatively recent purchase not twenty odd years ago). Legally he will be entitled to more but if it avoids court legal fees etc and he thinks well that's how much I put in plus interest, round it up too, generously. He might be minded to move on and avoid the court battle.

200k for a 2 bed in a nice area seems very reasonable to me! Can't get a one bed flat here for that

She’s said several,times there was no deposit.

Ffsnotaconference · 06/12/2023 21:34

wildwestpioneer · 06/12/2023 21:19

In the uk I didn't think you could force a sale until the child is over 18?

But you will have to continue to pay the mortgage and when your dc is 18, he can force a sale and will still be entitled to 50% of the equity, even though you've paid 100% of the mortgage for the last 5 years.

Unless you can get him to sign an agreement (deed of trust I think it's called) that states he will be entitled to 50% of the equity as it stands now and not have any claim to future equity, but by the sounds of things he'll simply refuse that as he wants the equity now.

I stayed in the marital home and paid 100% of the mortgage for two years after my ex left and he was still entitled to 50%

That’s incorrect. Mesher orders are increasingly rare. There’s no automatic right to stay in the home if a child is under 18.

SgtJuneAckland · 06/12/2023 21:37

@Getthethrowonthesofa I didn't realise she'd name changed until after I posted, I clicked see all.
In that case she needs to pay him half

Getthethrowonthesofa · 06/12/2023 21:39

Mesher orders are really only granted now if there is no other option to house the children, in this case, singular child. The 13 year old. The other kids don’t come into it, they are not from this marriage or relationship. There is clearly other options to house the op and her daughter, so it is vanishingly unlikely a court would force one.

Appleofmyeye2023 · 06/12/2023 21:49

It is about “fair settlement “Op…and that has nothing to do with history, only future provisions and is the law thst divorce courts have to follow. The 10 or so criteria for “fair settlement “ are in the marriage act and designed to prevent one party being left at risk of being even partially in need of state support, while other party walks off with a bigger share. That’s it really.

rad up on “fair settlement “ and how it will apply to you both, go to the ADVICE NOW link at header of this board to get the information.

youre circumstances will dictate which of these criteria will apply and therefore how likely you could hold onto house.

but, in reality, you need to accept that divorce ALWAYS makes both parties worse off. It’s the very nature of marriage that pooling your assets means you both have access to more wealth overall. It’s a hard thing to get your head around (know this as I was massively financially penalised in my divorce due to ex’s historic unemployment record) but when married you benefit in effect to 100% of your joint assets, each. You both benefitted 100% families rm your shared 4 bed home, and considered it your home. Now you only benefit form your “share” of it, which in practice will always , eventually, be less than 100%.
it takes time to accept it, it takes time to adjust .

but, if you fight again what “fair settlement “ defines, it will cost you in terms of solicitors, time and stress and uncertainty. Any solicitors you pay will “fight” for you, but whether they can achieve more than “fair settlement “ will come down to your stbex and his solicitors. And all that time your running up joint bills of £400+ per hour, for every minute solicitor just even think about your case. It’s an expensive thing to not try very hard to reach agreement yourselves, and come to terms that by divorcing, of course, you will both be poorer.

iamenough2023 · 06/12/2023 23:25

I do not live in UK and know that some things are a bit different here. I just divorced recently, we do now own and are not wealthy. All we had was a some savings and pension. I have three kids and all live with me but only one was a minor, 17 at the time. He did not want to waste too much money, so we had one mediation and later I hired a lawyer, but tried not to use her as much as possible. We simply split everything 50/50. I am surprised to hear that some people get more because kids live with them as I did not hear that from my lawyer or mediator. I did get CM although I had to fight for it. I too would say, take 60% as it seems very generous to me too. Good luck!

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 07/12/2023 02:57

OP NONE of your arguments mater, NONE of them will increase your share. Take the 40% now, because if you fight this you will at best end up with 50% minus your legal fees, you could even have costs awarded against you. He's already reduced his very generous offer of 36% to 40-42%, take that before you end up with even less and a lot of regrets.

Pomonas · 07/12/2023 07:51

Yes, you can be force to sell and also have a huge bill from lawyers. Your husband is entitled to rebuilt his life too. I would try to reach an agreement taking into account his needs too. Do this before the money evaporates in lawyers bills.

Pinkiefinger · 07/12/2023 07:55

Why so little??? He's paid the mortgage and the majority of it while you didn't have a job. You sound very selfish

Sureaseggs44 · 07/12/2023 08:48

skaw15 · 06/12/2023 12:18

We did purchase the house jointly however if it wasn't sold to us so cheaply from my family we would never of been able to afford to buy!!
I was looking after the children so wasn't working at the time we purchased however now I work a hard full time job to provide for them and it's a good job I do as he doesn't pay for the house I do!

My only child with my husband is 13,
My son is a previous relationship.

But you have both benefited from that so unless you drew something up to say your connection to the discount was relevant ( and possibly you should have paid more stamp duty) I think you should ignore that .

Pinkiefinger · 07/12/2023 09:53

This entire post has made me want to be nicer to my husband. This is absolutely mental.

Snowdogsmitten · 07/12/2023 12:15

i just don't think it's fair when we purchased the house cheap from my family that he should be able to get as much as he's asking for.

I think this is the crux of it…

Getthethrowonthesofa · 07/12/2023 12:29

Snowdogsmitten · 07/12/2023 12:15

i just don't think it's fair when we purchased the house cheap from my family that he should be able to get as much as he's asking for.

I think this is the crux of it…

Thing is the law says that’s exactly what is fair, unless an agreement put in place at point of purchase, you don’t agree to equally own then decide it’s mostly yours at point of divorce.

also fairly sure if it was his family who sold it below market value she’d also be arguing she should have more than 50 percent

BeesButterflies · 07/12/2023 12:37

Your children will still have inheritance…..from your 50% share of the property- split 3 ways your children will each have a bit.

MissConductUS · 07/12/2023 12:41

Getthethrowonthesofa · 07/12/2023 12:29

Thing is the law says that’s exactly what is fair, unless an agreement put in place at point of purchase, you don’t agree to equally own then decide it’s mostly yours at point of divorce.

also fairly sure if it was his family who sold it below market value she’d also be arguing she should have more than 50 percent

Show quote history

The other reason this won't hold water in court is that the house was sold to both of them at the supposedly below-market price. If the house is in both names, the "discount" went to him as much as to her. The house became joint property at the price they paid for it. The fact that the seller was a relative of hers is completely irrelevant to how the asset will be split now.

HangingOver · 07/12/2023 12:42

Bloody hell I'm glad you're not my ex... 12.5%??

arethereanyleftatall · 07/12/2023 13:54

I'm not sure saying you were studying whilst he was paying the mortgage works in your favour op. More his - he paid all bills so that you could study to enhance your career prospects.

WeHaveChocIcesInTheFreezer · 07/12/2023 14:57

The reality is the fact you were given a massively discounted purchase price with no deposit from family is irrelevant; this was gifted to you as a married couple with no legal protection for yourself. So he is entitled to half of whatever equity is now has, although I fully sympathise with you and can understand your frustration. Especially as you say he’s blown through £60k of joint savings- again though, as these funds were also his at the time a judge won’t consider knocking any of this off his share of the equity.

Also your ex is only responsible for your joint child so even though you need to consider 3 children he doesn’t, just 1 and any divorce settlement will only consider this 1 child for his obligations.

You can try delay a sale, but (I’m not 100% sure of this is the case) it may result in his equity share going up if the value of the house does (which it surely will over years). Very frustrating for you if you’re the one paying the mortgage in the mean time.

i agree with others, try make a deal that’s fair for him as well as you and have a clean break.

WeHaveChocIcesInTheFreezer · 07/12/2023 15:06

WeHaveChocIcesInTheFreezer · 07/12/2023 14:57

The reality is the fact you were given a massively discounted purchase price with no deposit from family is irrelevant; this was gifted to you as a married couple with no legal protection for yourself. So he is entitled to half of whatever equity is now has, although I fully sympathise with you and can understand your frustration. Especially as you say he’s blown through £60k of joint savings- again though, as these funds were also his at the time a judge won’t consider knocking any of this off his share of the equity.

Also your ex is only responsible for your joint child so even though you need to consider 3 children he doesn’t, just 1 and any divorce settlement will only consider this 1 child for his obligations.

You can try delay a sale, but (I’m not 100% sure of this is the case) it may result in his equity share going up if the value of the house does (which it surely will over years). Very frustrating for you if you’re the one paying the mortgage in the mean time.

i agree with others, try make a deal that’s fair for him as well as you and have a clean break.

Ignore the bit about the £60k savings, that was a PP 🤦🏻‍♀️

Bluesandwhites · 07/12/2023 22:02

Yes unfortunately, it's called a partition suit, but it costs approx £6k and the court process is slow, and as you have children, their future will be considered, they have to be housed until they are the age of majority.

Singleandfab · 07/12/2023 22:25

I’ll be about the 200th person to say a 50:50 split is reasonable and that you should be delighted to be getting 60:40. You could try to appeal to his clearly generous nature and aim for a few percentage more at mediation but be prepared to take the current suggestion to avoid going to court (as you will both squander more going unless you are prepared to represent yourself and I wouldn’t advise that unless you have a good friend who is knowledgeable about this and will support you for free).

What about getting a two bed flat with a sofa bed in the living space? Your son and you take it in turns on the sofa bed depending on your shift pattern.

Good luck - It’s so painful but you will feel huge relief when it is over and will be better to be somewhere new where you don’t have memories of him!