Can my husband force house sale in divorce?

[skaw15]

Hi.
I'm currently going through a divorce with my husband. We have a 13yo daughter together, I also have a 19yo son and a 17yo daughter from a previous relationship. My 13yo and my 19yo both live with me in a 4 bedroom house. I have a joint mortgage with my husband, he has moved out and is privately renting a 2bed flat and I currently pay the full mortgage and bills. My husband has our daughter overnight one night a week and once in the week for dinner. He does pay child maintenance.
We have 165k equity in our property, however we purchased it for a low price with no deposit from my family. Could I be forced to sell if I won't buy him out?
Thanks :)

The original figure he had asked for was 36% but has now changed that as he said his legal fees are costing a lot and now he needs to reimburse that but surely that's not on me

Who do you think it's on then?

Who is delaying the divorce going ahead? You.
Who is being unreasonable about financial settlement? You.
Who is forcing their ex to take them to court to finalise the divorce/financial settlement? You again.

I can see why he said he'd pay the basic divorce fees, why he tried to settle for less than 50/50 to try to keep solicitors fees down. He's desperate to get rid of you and taking a bit of a hit financially should have been the easiest way for him to do this. Only it hasn't worked because you can't see sense and are reacting purely to your emotions, eschewing all logic and law.

I don't even think you're being misadvised by your solicitor. I can totally see a solicitor faced with all the arguing you've engaged in in this thread, coming back with a generic "maybe this or that will work" as a way of shutting you up and getting you out of the office/off the phone. It doesn't mean it'll work or that the solicitor thinks it'll work. Just a way of pacifying you with the 0.000001% chance of it working.

In case you're not on the wind up op, and have just been given completely bonkers advice that you're grasping tight hold of....

Imagine your ex gets a 19yo girlfriend, then expects you to pay for her.

"As I wasn't working we wouldn't of been able to afford to buy if we hadn't of been sold the house at the price we got, the deposit was included from my family and that's how we paid the lower price as the deposit was the price difference."

If he wasn't working and paying the mortgage you would not have been able to afford the house.

Your family might have sold to you at a lower price but he was the one who paid solely for 2 years whilst you stayed at home.
How many years was he the sole earner?
Your children from your previous relationship are not his problem. Why do you think he should take less equity to provide them with an inheritance?

My son still relies on me when he gets sick etc which he does tend to with the condition he gets so in a way is dependant.
Whilst my husband was the reason we could get the mortgage and may of made the mortgage payments for the first couple of years if it wasn't for my family we would never of been able to buy. I've also been paying the mortgage solely for a year!

Been there done that...divorce as everyone says is really not fair which totally sucks.
If you only have about £165k equity...just so you know if you let the court decide the equity will effectively be reducing by about 50k to pay for legal fees, solicitors charge around £450 an hour for no guarantee of an outcome, it's ridiculous...flip a coin and that as much as they can guarantee.

I’m starting to think this is a wind up too. No one can be this obtuse surely, of course your son having a condition doesn’t go in your favour, what part of there is nothing about him will be included in this divorce as he is not your husbands son is difficult to understand?

I was also a student to be able to get a good job to provide for my kids!

He paid rent on a previous property but I got tax credits and it was his choice to choose to move in with a single mother and we had a joint account so whatever went in was spent, I also had my child benefit and tax credits paid into that account. If it was his choice he can't moan now!

@llj13 you aren't listening.
I had three children and two registered disabled and equity was split. I had most of the custody as they were in special Ed schools (with taxi's)
I think you may need to start negotiating or thinking about next moves regarding accommodation.

Pretty sure the court won't care

I really hope this is a windup.

I’m sorry about your son but that’s between yoh and bus father to support, not the man you’re divorcing, it is not his son. No judge will include needs for adult children that are not children of yoh and rhe man being divorced.

each of you contributed, he paid whilst you stayed home, you paid when he left. Your families contribution is irrelevant. Only the equity is relevant.

can you honestly not understand? If you genuinely cannot do you have someone who can help you?

What, its not relevant. He isn’t moaning, he just isn’t giving you what’s his.

do you have another adult who can help you?

Your son is not legally your dependent. If you choose to you could ask your son to move out and never help him again. I'm not suggesting you do this, but legally you could. He's not disabled by his condition, you aren't his carer. Even if he was disabled and you were his carer, that still doesn't mean you need an extra bedroom for him. It would mean he'd be entitled to housing in his own right and the state if necessary would help pay for or provide it. Even if DS was totally paralysed and severely brain damaged your ex, who isn't his father, still wouldn't have to give you less in a divorce so you could buy a bigger property to house him.

I think it would be usual for you to have to buy him out, It wouldn't be usual,for you to be able to keep the house if there is a good amount of equity in it.

Agree with PP, if this is real it’s alarming

Feel for the guy having to put up with this. Do I get more money for this, what about this?

And the solicitor that’s been landed with it, but mostly the poor kids / young adults

Ridiculous

Op how come you name changed?

He's not moaning about any of that though?

He's wanting what he's entitled to in a divorce. When he married you, he didn't sign up to providing for you and all your DC until you all died of old age even after divorce.

You chose to marry him. You were happy to split finances. Now in divorce you have to split them fairly one last time. Them's the rules.

@llj13
So you were a single parent on benefits?
He financially supported you and your 2 children
And your son relies on you to to look after him but he cares for your 13 year old whist you work at night.
I call bullshit

OP you’re in a legally complicsituation with big amounts of money at stake and some of the advice you have been given here is not quite right. Please hire a lawyer.

I can see why you think it's unfair op. If the house had been market rate and your family gifted you the shortfall, you could probably have done some legal jiggerypokery to earmark their gift as your equity rather than his.

However, that's not what happened. You have an asset you own jointly. He's entitled to half the value. Not half the value based on the percentage reduction your family gave you many moons ago.

What advice specifically please?

He’s entitled to half. It’s not right that you expect him to not have access to that money, getting into debt, paying over the odds rent so you can sit pretty. You say you can afford the house, well that’s more than running it, you need to be able to give him his fair share and buy him out, or sell. It really is that simple.
A 19 year old is an adult “young” or not. They can house themself or contribute to the house financially to enable having a room.
Your daughter lives with her dad. I’m sure you can sort something out “should she stay”.
You CAN downsize, you just don’t want to.
Divorce is hard and impacts your lifestyle and any children. You need to come to terms with that.

It doesn’t matter that you have paid the mortgage for 1 year
he was paying it for years and more importantly you gave sole occupancy, he can charge you an occupational rent as he gas to incur rent elsewhere ( usually would offset). His investment remains in the property and based on the information you keep drip feeding you risk actually being awarded no more than 50% in court as you have no greater need and can earn more

you really really do need to wise up and start negotiating with him ( around the 40% level) otherwise you are going to get much much less in court

No none of what you're arguing counts. Fair is not a consideration of the courts. Him offering you to take around 40% is a very reasonable offer. 40% is 66K, can you afford that? Can family help out and buy his share? Even if your eldest was his child at 19 and in the absence of special needs the court would not consider you to have a need to house him, they would still consider your needs to be a 2 bedroom place, same as your stbxh.

I was also a student to be able to get a good job to provide for my kids!

Why didn't that happen @llj13 ?
I am enjoying your thread hugely. Irrational people amuse me no end.