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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

No Contact, missing kids, angry Ex

133 replies

Morconfusednow · 16/08/2023 21:32

Going to keep it simple, STBXW and I first separated over two years ago, we’d been living separately but still very much in a relationship after a few weeks of talking.
I worked away causing almost all our issues, admittedly she was my rock through many tough times and always had been very reasonable regarding my access to the kids even when we had 2 periods of not being together ourselves since originally separating.
This year things went from worse to worse this year with continued bickering and petty arguments, a couple of months ago I said it would be better to continue with the divorce due to multiple things just not feeling good.
3 days after that I get sent a text requesting no contact and informed I’d been blocked on all social media thus isolating me from seeing the kids.
3 times I contacted her I had the police visit my house.
I alway have contacted the kids via iPads or phones but feeling these messages aren’t getting through to them now.
Today I’ve heard my ex is certain I am having an affair and if she can’t find out who she will be send the police to my house as she thinks I’ve been sitting for months Sri king and taking drugs, funny thing is the only people that have been in my house since she went NC is the police.
Until now I haven’t contacted solicitors as I had thought she might have calmed down but today I contact SS and an option is they can do drum and alcohol tests to disprove her claims and do a home visit of my home to make their own mind on my ability to have my kids.
would I be wrong to go down this route to prove what she thinks isn’t true and the reality is I’ve sat alone in silence trying to keep the future peace no wanting to escalate things but I’m struggling to see another way.

OP posts:

monsteramunch · 17/08/2023 13:24

That should have said "then because you responded to that text..." (not post)

Original poster

Morconfusednow · 17/08/2023 13:24

Helpmepleaseimbusy · 17/08/2023 12:52

If you can avoid the SS route I would. Once they are in the system that's it. I suggest getting legal advice and going to court if necessary. Start today. Are you paying maintenance?

@Helpmepleaseimbusy thats what this post was about, thanks for your reply, I was asking the question because my kids are not on social services radar, but in desperation yesterday I call them asking advice (no names) I was initially looking another direction without solicitors, but it is clear now that seeking legal advice is definitely the best option

OP posts:

Original poster

Morconfusednow · 17/08/2023 13:33

monsteramunch · 17/08/2023 13:24

That should have said "then because you responded to that text..." (not post)

Show me where I said (post) that was you, and if I did I’m sorry for confusing you but the previous 10 message or text in reference to what I was talking about.

OP posts:

monsteramunch · 17/08/2023 13:37

Show me where I said (post) that was you, and if I did I’m sorry for confusing you but the previous 10 message or text in reference to what I was talking about.

Yes, it was me - hence my post correcting myself. You know, the one you literally just quoted...

Lizlibrarian · 17/08/2023 14:19

@Morconfusednow I have read the full thread. I don't think you have answered any of the points I made but anyway they were not questions, I was simply pointing out some accurate information to dispel some of the inaccuracies on the thread. It's important you have the correct info but it's unlikely you will get it here anyway. No one can properly advise you as they don't have all the facts. I'm not here to argue with strangers online and it's clear to me this thread has taken a turn that you perhaps did not expect. As has been stated your only option now is to seek legal advice from proper accredited professionals. You can find a list of such online or ask citizens advice.

Original poster

Morconfusednow · 17/08/2023 15:12

monsteramunch · 17/08/2023 13:23

Your writing style is confusing and it's hard to make out what is fact, what is supposition and sometimes which specific posts you're replying to.

there was no previous reports I said the police must have been with her when she sent the text, this was the morning after I asked for divorce and this was her escalation.

You're saying that she must have been with the police and (without any prior involvement from the police in your relationship) sent a text saying she wants no further contact with you, then because you responded to that post, they immediately went to your home and... what? And said 'you're not to contact her as she requested no contact'? To which your reply would surely be 'well how do I organise seeing my children if I can't contact her' to which their reply would be to engage a solicitor.

I can't see how else that visit from the police would have gone if you're being honest that there's been no prior involvement, no threats were made and you weren't arrested.

Show quote history

apologies I missed this one, yes you are right the police informed me to contact a solicitor, foolishly/shocked and in disbelief by being caught blindsided as previously said in the thread I still seen this as an escalation on part of i I went legal then (Stupidly) because it was so out of the blue I honestly expected it all to calm down. I can now see how stupid I was

OP posts:

PotsnPan · 20/08/2023 15:18

All the time spent replying to and reading this thread, OP, you could have made a mediation referral set up

Babyghirl · 16/11/2023 09:07

@Morconfusednow
Sorry your going through this, alot of women use the kids as weapons to be in control, I hope you are in the road to seeing your kids, a judge does not like it when kids are kept from a parent for nothing, and the judge will take in to consideration your job for contact, she knew your job role before having kids so using that against you is not right, can't stand a women who knew it all before marriage or kids but will use it as a weapon hope the judge goes through her and I'm a woman but hate a woman who thinks she has the right to mess up kids life's to hurt someone.

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