Wife left in huge rage. Don't know where she has gone. I am really worried

[Whiteminnowfish]

She left Saturday. Has been suffering from depression and anxiety for a while.
We've not been getting along for a while also.

She said in an argument that she wants a divorce and is moving out to one of her properties in April.

She left Saturday and has not returned.

She took her work laptop, phones, toothbrush and paste.

No activity via joint account but she has her own separate account, so she's probably using that to stay in a hotel.

I noticed she was on WhatsApp Sunday morning then I messaged saying to contact for dd7 sake as she been crying. She's not read message but she's changed privacy settings on her WhatsApp so can't see when she's been active.

I contacted her brother and he said he had spoken to her on Monday.

Dd7 has tried calling her but phone is going to voicemail.

I've got all sorts of awful worries going through my incase she does something stupid.

She has left before and stayed in a hotel I think for 1 night then returned.

Am I panicking too early?

you say there is a joint account.
could you transfer that money into your own account, making sure any direct debits etc are paid.
as she earns more and you have the child to look after.
how much is in the joint account.
is it enough to go to a solicitor.
initially you reported that she said she was going to stay in one of her properties.
are they not let ?

@alexdgr8

you say there is a joint account. could you transfer that money into your own account, making sure any direct debits etc are paid. as she earns more and you have the child to look after. how much is in the joint account. is it enough to go to a solicitor. initially you reported that she said she was going to stay in one of her properties. are they not let ?

Money in joint account is there to cover the monthly bills/outgoings.

Property is let but the tenants are leaving April

@mathanxiety

You need to hire a solicitor immediately.

Do not agree to any visitation whatsoever until an assessment of DW's parenting has been carried out. You are not obliged to allow DD to go anywhere with DW, for any length of time.

I have not got the funds to hire a solicitor.

I want us to do this amicably

Doing this amicably is not going to happen.

Surely you can see from the tone and content of the letter that she is hell bent on getting her pound of flesh here and screw you and the interests of the child?

Do you have family who could afford to give you some money to hire a solicitor?

As far as divorce goes, who owns the properties?
Are they owned outright or mortgaged?
Are you currently the primary carer for the child?

You need to contact Rights of Women.

rightsofwomen.org.uk/

@mathanxiety

Doing this amicably is not going to happen.

Surely you can see from the tone and content of the letter that she is hell bent on getting her pound of flesh here and screw you and the interests of the child?

Do you have family who could afford to give you some money to hire a solicitor?

As far as divorce goes, who owns the properties?
Are they owned outright or mortgaged?
Are you currently the primary carer for the child?

No family who can lend me the money.

We jointly own our marital home and both flats.
Marital home has about 100k equity in it. Flats are in negative equity.

I'd say I am primary carer. I work part time and do majority of taking her to classes

She's still not even contacted dd7 to ask how she is or maybe video call her.

Shocking

You don’t want to do it amicably. You’re saying she hits your vulnerable daughter and will use it to get residency. I get you’re upset and going through a lot but you’re being pretty disingenuous. You need legal advice, so what are you going to do?

Please get legal help, even if it puts you into debt

"I'm sorting out my own place by the end of April. We can then have DD7 50/50. Once I've got this I will pick her up from school Thur afternoon and take her to school Friday and have her Sat and Sun and drop her off Monday. You can pick her up Monday night have her Tue and Wed and drop her off school on Thur morning. That way you can find a job Fri, Sat,Sun and you don't need to give up your college job. Half terms I will take Thur and Fri and Mon off"

This smacks sadly of your "D"W wanting you back earning equivalent to her and not planning on paying a penny. In fact with those days she is expecting you to pay her child support! There is not an inkling of what is best for DD its all about the money - her providing childcare when she cannot manage the child with your support, so you can get paying her money!

Given that your child is adopted and clearly have issues - I assume you still have a social worker involved. I am certain they will have something to say about any schedule and parenting split. Take all the support you can from them. Good Luck as it sounds as though you are goint to need it!

You say there is £100k of equity in your house. Remember as you are married ALL assets, savings and pensions are shared.

You have the money for good representation - to do what is best for your vulnerable little girl!

Walking out on the child is not neglect or dereliction of duty necessarily... If she thought that the atmosphere at home would be better without both of you there, then she did the right thing by leaving.

When relationships break down, one person has to leave at some point and it's not "walking out" to do so.

However, it is awful that she hasn't spoken to her DD either before she left, or after the fact via a video or phone call, and I would call that neglectful and she is neglecting the feelings of her DD and how this would impact her.

Yes, OP can comfort and reassure the child, but it won't mean as much coming from her as it would coming from the one who actually left.

You really need some legal advice.
You have been the primary carer by agreement and you need to tell her that is how it will be staying when you divorce for stability for your DD. For her after school clubs, for her schooling etc. Whars best for DD mental health is they key thing here.

You need to make sure everything is recorded with the arious agencies/support you have for DD.

Get a benefits claim in. I don't know about the property ownership but declare it and see what impact it has. The property issues, including your home, will need to be resolved during the divorce.

Get a child support claim in.