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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Is this fair? Financial split and maintenance

144 replies

SweetestTidings · 12/03/2021 09:30

My brother is separating from his partner, and has asked me what I think of his proposed financial settlement. He wants feedback from me before proposing it to her.

He: earns roughly £120k to £180k yearly through his company (he is sole employee and owner, and the company has no assets - it is just a vehicle for him to offer IT consultancy). He has roughly £180k in pensions. He has no savings or other assets.

She: earns roughly £30k (or she would do, if she switched to full time). She has roughly £20k in pensions. She has no savings or other assets.

Their house is worth maybe £425k, with a mortgage of around £350k. Mortgage payments are around £1,500 per month.

They have 3 children aged 16, 13 and 10.

He is proposing:

(1) That he has the children 2 or 3 nights per week (although he thinks the eldest one will just do what she wants);
(2) That his wife keeps the family home until the youngest is 18, but that he retains 40% equity, stays on the mortgage, and pays half of it. When the youngest is 18, the house is sold and the equity split so he gets 40%. He will pay 50% of any maintenance costs on the house during this time (even though he isn't living there).
(3) That he pays child maintenance assuming an income of £150k (the "average" he earns), and assuming he doesn't have the kids at all (even though he will) - this would work out to £2k per month.
(4) That she keeps her own pensions, and gets half of his.
(5) That he pays the private school fees for the children at private school, and university living costs to the children when they reach that age.

He has no idea whether this is fair. He is concerned that he is not offering his wife much better than 50:50 in terms of assets, but his offer to pay half the mortgage is "worth" around £60k over the next few years, although he would probably get some of that back due to capital being paid off the mortgage, and possible capital appreciation if house prices go up.

Very roughly, this would work out that he pays £4,000 towards his wife, mortgage on her house, and school fees, leaving him with £3,500 monthly (on an average year) for him. On a "bad" year (like 2020) he would have much less than this for himself.

Does the above sound reasonable? Does anyone have any suggestions to make it "fairer" for either of them?

Thank you!

OP posts:
NeedToGetOuttaHere · 12/03/2021 12:50

I’m no expert but it sounds like a generous proposal to me (although there’s a good chance someone will come along and say it’s not).

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 12/03/2021 12:52

Can he afford all that and pay his own bills and accommodation costs? Also would these payments be changed if he has a second family?

DinoHat · 12/03/2021 12:53

It’s pretty generous. I think he’ll regret it.

SweetestTidings · 12/03/2021 13:02

@NeedToGetOuttaHere

He thinks it will be tight while affording a house big enough to have all his kids staying with him, but he's determined that his kids get to stay in the family home. He doesn't plan on having more kids, and isn't currently able to have more without reversing a vasectomy! I guess it could be a problem if he meets someone new that talks him round to a different view.

OP posts:
Frenchfancy · 12/03/2021 13:04

Is he separating from his partner or his wife. In either case it seems quite generous but if the former it is very generous.

I don't personally like arrangements where family home is sold when youngest is 18 as most 18 year olds are still doing their A levels.

Palavah · 12/03/2021 13:04

It sounds generous.

Probably helpful to think about the ongoing payments as to his kids, rather than to his wife.

SweetestTidings · 12/03/2021 13:22

@Palavah

Yes, that is how he is thinking of it. When they start going off to university he intends to give their share of it to the kids directly at that point.

OP posts:
SweetestTidings · 12/03/2021 13:23

@Frenchfancy

I suspect he meant that the home would be sold when the children go to university, rather than when they have all turned 18.

OP posts:
NeedToGetOuttaHere · 12/03/2021 13:36

So 3 lots of private school fees are 2k a month?

SweetestTidings · 12/03/2021 13:38

@NeedToGetOuttaHere

No, the kids aren't all at the private school at the same time, so it varies from year to year. At the moment it's two sets for £1250 I think, which combined with the £750 towards the mortgage makes £2k. Add that to the £2k maintenance, that makes £4k total.

OP posts:
FullofCurryandparatha · 12/03/2021 13:39

I don't think its generous. I think its probably fair.

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 12/03/2021 13:39

Sorry I read it wrong
So he’d pay £750 mortgage
£2000 maintenance
£1250 school fees

Northernsoullover · 12/03/2021 13:41

I would suggest he sees a solicitor. Its nice that he wants to be generous but not at the expense of things being 'tight' for him.

JensonsAcolyte · 12/03/2021 13:41

Well this makes a refreshing change from the norm.

Good for him.

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 12/03/2021 13:42

I think it’s probably a bit over generous. I would offer the same as him but with whatever the child maintenance calculation says it the minimum maintenance.

Stationfork · 12/03/2021 13:42

Reading it all through I think it sounds about right. Does the Mum have a plan for when they all turn 18 and the money stops?

FullofCurryandparatha · 12/03/2021 13:43

but with whatever the child maintenance calculation says it the minimum maintenance

Why would you want your children to have the legal minimum you have to pay rather than what you can afford and what you think they should have?
It's such a bizarre mindset.

Rummikub · 12/03/2021 13:46

Won’t the dc need to come hone during uni hols?

I think it sounds fair- except the house selling at 18.

Maybe consider less Maintenance in exchange for more equity?

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 12/03/2021 13:46

No I don’t have a bizarre mindset, he’s paying half the mortgage and all the school fees. I think if he has a couple of lower earning years then it could be quite right for him to pay that amount.

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 12/03/2021 13:47

Quite tight that should say.

StephanieSavetowin · 12/03/2021 13:47

This seems likes a really adult split, where the stability of the children's lives has been put at the forefront of the conversation. Well done on them. agree with advice above to seek legal expertise too make the option is sustainable long-term

FullofCurryandparatha · 12/03/2021 13:47

No I don’t have a bizarre mindset, he’s paying half the mortgage and all the school fees. I think if he has a couple of lower earning years then it could be quite right for him to pay that amount*

The mortgage is an investment as well though, he retains half the equity. And yes, it is bizarre to default to the legal minimum.
He's a very high earner.

Soontobe60 · 12/03/2021 13:47

Why only 40% of the equity in the house if he’s paying half the mortgage?

idontlikealdi · 12/03/2021 13:49

Are they married? I don't think he should agree to half his pension.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/03/2021 13:49

I don't think it's reasonable that he pays her so much money that he can barely afford somewhere to house them himself as that will be detrimental to the kids surely?

What would child maintenance look like on the lower end of his wages and assuming he has them twice a week? Would that mean them both managing comfortably?