Husband says I don't deserve half?

[boymum9]

We've been separated a year ish and have decided to start divorce proceedings. We had a pretty up and down first few months of being separated (can look back through my previous threads if of interest) but things have settled considerably.

We're on the same page with everything aside from how the money from our house will be divided. I assumed it would be 50/50 because it's in joint names, but he says I "don't deserve" half.

This is coming from these facts:

1. Stay at home mum to 2 children, 2 and 4.
2. For the bulk of our relationship we moved most years around the country for his work and I followed and therefore never settled into a career to be able to contribute financially.

I have my first appointment with a lawyer on Tuesday and we're hoping to go down the "collaborative law" route to make things quicker and easier and less fighting over things as we get on fairly well. I will obviously find out where I stand when I go to the lawyers but will I be naive going in assuming that assets will be split 50/50 even if I didn't contribute financially? If I am being naive that's something I can accept and will happily work to what's appropriate!

Anyone have any advice?!

My advice? He’s a twat.

Sorry, probably not helpful. But I’m pretty sure he’s wrong. My understanding is marital assets are split 50:50 and you have made an equal contribution by bringing up the children.

How long was the marriage?

With 2 kids I’d be surprised if you didn’t get more

My advice is to let your lawyer do the talking. Your husband can fuck off with what he thinks you "deserve." I suppose bearing and caring for your children is worth fuck all in his eyes, then. It's your lawyer's job to make sure you get everything you're entitled to.

Yeah he’s a dick.

Console yourself with the fact when he finds out he’s not just wrong, but really fucking wrong, it will infuriate him.

Oh. And he’s already trying to do you out of what you’re entitled to, so make sure you get a SHL (Shit Hot Lawyer).

You’d likely be looking to go for a lot more than 50/50 if you gave up a career to support his whilst bringing up your children. Speak to the solicitor but bottom line is he’s in for a nasty surprise. Twat

Fortunately he doesn’t get a say! Chances are you’re entitled to more than half.

He's in for a shock if he believes that rather than just saying it to bully you into accepting less...

You have contributed - full time nanny and housekeeper and family secretary!

50/50 plus a share of his pension.

He's not your friend boymum he's someone trying to pull fast one on you. Fight for what you and your children deserve, and don't believe a word he says!

At least 60/40 in your favour, if you are RP.

Actually, you “deserve” and may well get more than half as you sacrificed your career and earning potential to enable his.

Remind him that you entirely enabled his career by taking care of his children and home so he could go out to work. In so doing, you sacrificed your own career. He'll be lucky to get 50/50.

Twat.

Ignore him, what he thinks doesn't matter. Let the law decide.

Also, how mean and selfish of him not to want his children to be well-housed when they are with you.

he is not being nice to you. He is a twat.

get a very good lawyer and expect to find things he has hidden, shares ISA's etc. Also go for half his pension. YOu have given up your career to raise your children, missed outon years of paying into your pension - secure your retirement too.

Smile sweetly and say you will put everything in the hands of your solicitor...

Send him an invoice for all the childcare you provided to enable his career

Legally he owes you 50%.

If you want to make everything transactional, Recalculate it as £14/hour for child care & general house skivvy + Life admin you did all those years you didn't have 'a career'. I work that out as he owes you £130k minimum in back pay. Add interest & pension & NI contributions, the sum probably approaches £160k.

How long were you married?

How very strange he sounds, does he have a god complex? What an odd, telling choice of word "deserve" is - did he really use that word?

Let your solicitor advise you, as everyone says. I believe that as you're the children's primary care giver as a sahm you are likely to be responsible for them more than 50% of the time, and a suitable home for the children will be the overriding concern rather than your ex-husband's opinion on worthiness and which adult is the more deserving...

When it comes to property the legal presumption is that if it’s in joint names it’s 50/50. The burden would be on him to argue against the presumption. I would be very clear to him that what he thinks doesn’t matter. He can either settle out of court of spend huge sums fighting a battle which is not in his favour.

Funnily enough it’s not up to him, even though he is in possession of a penis!
It’s is up to the lawyers /court.
Bless him for thinking he is still in charge.