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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Ex stopped paying maintenance

70 replies

MichelleC69 · 25/06/2019 09:22

Not sure where to post this, sorry if it's the wrong place. My ex husband has stopped paying maintenance without warning. He pays me a nominal amount as he pays for school fees but that's by the by. My daughter is switching schools in Sept (6th form) and the fees are a bit higher where she's going, so I agreed that he could stop the maintenance when she went there. We were never specific about which month that would happen, maybe we should have been. But this month he has just decided to withdraw it. I expected it to be paid til the end of the summer. My question is, what action am I able to take, if any?

OP posts:
LemonTT · 25/06/2019 10:46

Nobody can answer that question unless you explain the legal arrangement between you, the ages of the children and your relative income. Even then the answer will be see a solicitor or put in a CMS claim and hope he continues to pay the school fees.

Original poster
MichelleC69 · 25/06/2019 11:02

Thanks, I was just really looking for some guidance as to what the child maintenance legal entity is now. I haven't had an issue like this for years.

OP posts:
wobytide · 25/06/2019 11:19

Lodge a CMS claim is your only option in theory if it's been a verbal agreement between you

NorthernSpirit · 25/06/2019 11:33

If you can’t agree a ‘family based arrangement’ then you need to lodge a claim with the CMS.

Have to tried talking to him?

Original poster
MichelleC69 · 25/06/2019 11:52

Yes I've tried taking to him but he just keeps repeating that I agreed it (which I did, but I expected him to keep paying til the end of August). I'm only asking for another 3 months. He's taken every opportunity in the past to try and wriggle out of paying and I just feel like this is another example. She doesn't start the new school til Sept so for me it feels reasonable that he pays until then.

OP posts:
NorthernSpirit · 25/06/2019 12:07

Sounds like a communication problem.

He should be paying maintenance, but....

You agreed he would pay school fees. She’s left school but doesn’t start the new school again until September (when I’m guessing the fees are due). Looks like in his mind he pays just school fees.

Does he know you were expecting the payments to continue? Have you actually told him this? Men typically need things spelling out to them very clearly (in my experience).

LemonTT · 25/06/2019 12:22

You should work out what is better for you. If he has no legal requirement to pay the school fees at the higher rate or at all, then he may decide not to if you go for CMS. He potentially could

  • refuse to pay the fees altogether and expect you to fund it from CMS or
  • refuse to pay the higher fees and expect you to fund it from CMS payments.

What is the net cost of higher the fees across the next 12 months v the current arrangement.

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 25/06/2019 14:45

Is it maintenance though? I read that as he pays school fees instead of maintenance which is what you agreed to. If the school fees are paid up now until September then it makes sense that he doesn't pay until the new term. With this arrangement it might have been better for him to pay the school directly rather than you.
Put in a cms claim and see what happens but I don't think with these circumstances that he's done anything wrong unless you've agreed a set amount per month?

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 25/06/2019 14:50

Reread it now and it's a small amount plus school fees is that right?

Original poster
MichelleC69 · 25/06/2019 15:12

Correct, the agreement has always been a bit of maintenance plus school fees.

OP posts:
DtPeabodysLoosePants · 25/06/2019 15:57

Does that equal less or more than the maintenance calculator estimate?

Frankola · 26/06/2019 21:20

Has your daughter finished school now and broken up for summer?

I'm going to guess he is using this technicality as a reason to stop payments now.

NotBeingRobbed · 28/06/2019 08:57

There’s no way CMS money would pay school fees! I guess you need to go back to him and ask what’s happening. If you get maintenance and school fees you have been doing pretty well.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 28/06/2019 09:16

Look at the calculator and find out what the total claim would be.
If you fight for this would he stop paying school fees but then pay less maintenance?

Original poster
MichelleC69 · 28/06/2019 17:04

He would never stop paying the school fees. He's a social climber and always wanted her in private school. It was completely his choice, which is why he pays. I'm not sure whether it's worth a claim - he gives me £100 a month. I just object to him giving me zero notice of stopping it when it's built into my monthly budget.

OP posts:
Contraceptionismyfriend · 28/06/2019 17:06

If you've got that security I'd message him saying you require the next X amount of months maintenance to be paid on time or you will have to use the CMA

Original poster
MichelleC69 · 28/06/2019 17:13

Have done that and he is point blank refusing. Just need to decide if I can be bothered for the sake of 3 months X £100.

OP posts:
TheOrigRightsofwomen · 28/06/2019 17:20

Won't CMS take into account the amount he is paying in school fees? If so I think this will probably be more than they would work out he had to pay and so I don't think you'll get anything.

Takes month as well. You're better off talking to him. Has he taken into account all the new uniform and stuff she'll need for the new school?

Original poster
MichelleC69 · 28/06/2019 17:23

No of course he hasn't - that's my responsibility in his head!

OP posts:
NotBeingRobbed · 28/06/2019 18:42

£300 must be a drop in the ocean compared to private sixth form fees. I know it feels unfair but surely it’s not worth fighting it.

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 28/06/2019 18:57

He might change his mind about the school fees if he gets a bill from the cms too. That's a mighty chunk of cash he's paying towards her education. If you have agreed this then other than filing a claim with cms I don't see what you can do. Is he paying for uni too?

LesLavandes · 29/06/2019 05:53

Who has residency or is it 50/50?

Original poster
MichelleC69 · 29/06/2019 07:42

We split residency 4 days with me, 3 days with him. Not sure how that's relevant to be honest, the issue at question is him stopping the payments with no warning, not whether the arrangement we had was a fair split.

OP posts:
hsegfiugseskufh · 29/06/2019 07:47

The thing is if you go to the csa he might pay that and sack off paying the school fees..

NeverTwerkNaked · 29/06/2019 08:06

I think you would be bonkers to kick up the fuss about maintenance when he is paying school fees.

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