Do I go to court

[MassiveMug]

My dh and I came to a financial agreement out of court, we have sol involved. I settled on 80% capital from the house as a healthy deposit for a house for me and our 2ds and a small mortgage.

The sol have just drawn up the court order ready for it all to be sent to court on what we have agreed. Problem is, I now can’t get a mortgage and the equity I will get is not enough to buy anything half decent for us whilst he stays on in this big 4 bed house to himself.

I have put a hold on the order being sent off to court whilst I think about what to do. I could rent but that’s very expensive and I don’t work and trying to get a job is near on impossible, or do I take him to court for more money or even the house but knowing that this won’t be resolved for at least another year, hugh sol bill and would I be rewarded with anymore? Any advice please?

How are you affording to live? Is your STBXH paying you significant spousal maintenance?

If you’re reliant on benefits, having all that equity in savings could mean you’re not eligible to claim.

I’m not sure how you were hoping to get a mortgage if you have no income?

What’s stopping you staying in the house?

We still both live the marital home so he is still paying for everything until everything is split which it won’t know if I pull back on this court order.

I won’t be eligible to claim any benefits when I move on so I was hoping to get a mortgage just based on maintenance and carers allowance that I get. I did get one in principle but was giving false hope by the useless mortgage advisor at the bank.

He won’t let me stay on in the house as he wants it hence why he was buying me out.

Have you both got your own solicitors?

Yes

Would you be rewarded with more though?
The bills could end up being 10,000’s if you can’t pay the bill the house would just be sold? Then you would be worse off as the equity in it would be split... minus the court fees

Have you used a mortgage broker? It’s reallt diffcult to get mortgages based on just maintenance and benefits alone these days as they will come to an end ....

monday this is what I’m wondering so it’s a difficult one. Yes I’ve tried two mortgage brokers and both said I won’t get one.

Why won't you though? Is it not enough deposit or you income is too low? Can you part buy part rent are there any deals on new housing in your area at the moment?

Are there pensions involved? How much of the total assets does the 80% house equity represent?

Court is likely to cost 20k so factor that into your decision.

Could you know what salary you need to get a mortgage that you require? It might be worth returning to work, even if it was for a limited time..especially if you felt the payments were affordable in the long term.

Court is a risk, as so much depends on the judge on the day and their view of your case.
A judge is unlikely to be sympathetic to your housing needs, even if it means you need to down size considerably. They will take the view that 2-3 beds will be suitable.

Divorce sadly does make women more financially challenged whereas men do better.

You got 80% and want more!?

Do you even earn yourself?

Does he not share 50/50 custody?

I doubt a judge would award more.

Didn't you think of this before you left him?

How much more do you need .? Have you taken his pensions into consideration

I’m not touching his pensions though and they are worth more then the 80% I am getting.

No we are not sharing custody, he will only have them once maybe twice a week.

What has your solicitor advised?
Surely not that you and the children have to rent, burning through your share of equity, and he stays in a huge house alone?

I’m not touching his pensions though and they are worth more then the 80% I am getting.

Maybe but the fact that you are getting money now and a pension has to be waited for, will also be taken into consideration.

If you wanted to stay in the house you will be expected to pay all bills and any mortgage on it on your own.

Not necessarily. OP has mentioned carers allowance - is that for one of the children? Is the OP perhaps unable to work?

Not necessarily. OP has mentioned carers allowance - is that for one of the children? Is the OP perhaps unable to work?

Maybe, but unless he is a very high earner her stbx won't be expected to fully maintain 2 homes.

Why are you not having some of his pension ?

I'm wondering why your sol "approved" this agreement when you don't work and thus would be most unlikely to get a mortgage.

and the equity I will get is not enough to buy anything half decent for us whilst he stays on in this big 4 bed house to himself

My Ex wife raised the same grouse even though she received 70% of the equity of the FMH. Judge told her that 70% of the equity plus retaining an overseas property I bought in her name before the marriage was a generous offer. The equity she received plus a small mortgage (20K) was enough to buy a 2 bedroom house which as the Judge pointed out was sufficient for her and our Son's NEEDS.

If Ex wanted to stay in the 4 Bedroom FHM she would have had to buy me out which she could not afford.

MTBA - but the OPs point is that she cannot get a mortgage and therefore this agreement does not meet her needs. She also isn’t get a second overseas property.

therefore this agreement does not meet her needs

Ex husbands have NEEDS too remember. Courts will not make an order that forces one partner into hardship so the other can continue with their life as though nothing has changed.

With the exception of wealthy couples it is likely that both partners will have a reduced standard of living after a divorce.

OP does not sat how old the 2 children are, but if they are aged over 7 mothers are expected to work in accordance with the Lord Pitchford ruling in 2015:

A judge has told the ex-wife of a millionaire racehorse surgeon to get a job and stop thinking she has the right to be "supported for life" at his expense

Lord Justice Pitchford said divorcees with children aged over seven should work for a living in a decision which signals an end to leisurely living for ex partners of wealthy spouses

One of the greatest and most sensible rulings ever made in my view.

Maybe you should change “boat” to “point”.

You’ve waltzed in and offered your personal experience which is irrelevant to the OPs situation.

She made an agreement that worked on the assumption she could get a mortgage. She cannot get a mortgage. This agreement leaves her AND THE CHILDREN at a significant disadvantage while the ex’s lives in a house far bigger than he needs.

Perhaps take your projected anger about your own situation elsewhere.

@MissMalice

She has been awarded EIGHTY PERCENT.

A huge value. Now she wants even more because she can't get a mortage?

She should have maybe thought about her ability to borrow before leaving the marriage.

She can of course easily downsize or buy something more within her affordability range but it's clear she just wants to stiff her ex for more so she has zero mortage to pay.

It's good digging and spiteful. She clearly is seeking an easy divorced life of her STBXH expense.

OP doesn’t say who left the marriage and in any case that is irrelevant.

Percentages are also irrelevant without context - 80% of what? You don’t know what she can or can’t afford to buy without a mortgage. Legalities aside, how can it be moral for the children to be living in a much smaller house while the non resident parent rattled around a huge house alone.

Unless you know more than the OP is written here, you cannot make those statements with any confidence.

80% is a huge amount. It's not your ExH's fault you can't afford the size property that you want. If you can't afford to buy him out then I'm not sure there's much else you can do.