Do I go to court

[MassiveMug]

My dh and I came to a financial agreement out of court, we have sol involved. I settled on 80% capital from the house as a healthy deposit for a house for me and our 2ds and a small mortgage.

The sol have just drawn up the court order ready for it all to be sent to court on what we have agreed. Problem is, I now can’t get a mortgage and the equity I will get is not enough to buy anything half decent for us whilst he stays on in this big 4 bed house to himself.

I have put a hold on the order being sent off to court whilst I think about what to do. I could rent but that’s very expensive and I don’t work and trying to get a job is near on impossible, or do I take him to court for more money or even the house but knowing that this won’t be resolved for at least another year, hugh sol bill and would I be rewarded with anymore? Any advice please?

MTBA - you are projecting all your issues on to the OP, and they are not relevant to her.

You most certainly are @MissedTheBoatAgain

Projecting and projecting and projecting

Take your bile and envy and bad temper and answer @MassiveMug without boring us all rigid with your poor me story

Grow up fgs

I got that job I went for, so I start full time next Monday. I’ve decided to rent for a few months and then apply for a mortgage with my salary.

Well done @MassiveMug ~ I'm so pleased for you 💕🌟

Bubbles don't last long. Once they have popped nobody remembers them.

To OP

Well done for securing a Job. Might be difficult in the early days, but when you achieve independence you will be happy.

Well done OP.

MTBA - sounds like your ex won hands down, just by getting away fe you.

To Otterturk

My ex was taken to the cleaners by the legal profession. She was charged 8K for final hearing compared to my 2K. She ended up with a settlement that was much less than I had offered at the outset.

She wanted revenge and lost. Hahahahaha.

MTBA - have you considered counselling? The bile and contempt with which you talk about your ex does not suggest a man happy with what happened and moving on with life, despite your protestations. < head tilt>

You sound so angry. Again, no matter how much money she spent on solicitors, good for her to be rid of you.

I was the one that filed for Divorce. Not angry. Just sad how much money Ex burned in the courts. Would have rather seen the money go to Ex and Child as total cost to myself is same no matter which direction the money went.

Good luck to OP and others who are going through Divorce.

OP, I am sure that with you financial settlement and a job you will be able to rebuild your finances and secure a lovely and loving home for the children. Time is a great healer. Focus on your self as a newly single woman and mother. Forget about your ex’s life, it won’t be as perfect as you imagine.

Maybe @MissedTheBoatAgain, the courts could have been avoided if you had behaved differently or had a different attitude.

I am not usually interested in calling out a poster but you repeatedly give replies based on projection and speculation with a heavy dose of me me me. You advice is not qualified and your experience is singular. It does not justify such overbearing replies that leak a level of egotism that I think would provoke the most mild mannered person.

I can easily see why lawyers made a lot of money out of your divorce but don’t think that was just down to your ex wife.

To LemonTT

Ex wife was the Applicant for the financial order. She ended up with less than what I had offered before she involved the Courts. Ex blames her solicitors (4 different law firms by time Final Hearing took place). However, more likely that she wasn’t hearing what she wanted to hear. I can’t believe that she received bad advice from 4 different solicitors.

£35K in fees as opposed to an extra £35K in her pocket. Outcome is she had to take out a mortgage to house herself. As I work on contract there is no job security. If I was to become unemployed I would not be able to pay maintenance which currently £1,150 per month. Ex wife would not be able to afford her mortgage if were to lose that amount of money per month. Would have been no risk if courts had not been involved.

Apologies for the number of posts, but my point is that couples should try and settle amicably. If courts are involved the only certain winners are the legal profession.

Good luck to the OP and everyone else on MM that’s going through a divorce.

MTBA, I know what your case involved. You keep telling everybody over and over again. Whether it is relevant or not. Maybe if you want to help you could focus on the OPs situation not your own. I would suggest you ask and listen more. It’s not about you or your experience.

I realise this sounds harsh but although you can post decent information, you advice is biased. Additionally at times your gloating is insensitive and aggressive. Divorce is emotionally challenging enough for people without that. The people on here are in pain and are mostly the wife. Yes, they can at times be unreasonable in their expectations but the last thing they need to hear is that the outcome will be a ex laughing at them.

To LemonTT

I agree that ex wife’s are usually the most vulnerable in the event of a divorce, but experienced solicitors will take that into account when negotiating the settlement. Hope OP and her ex can settle without involvement of the courts. From what the legal people have said on other threads the courts are overloaded and time between hearings can be several months which just adds to the stress.

So my recommendation to OP is to settle amicably if possible. Apologies to other posters who may have thought my earlier posts were not helpful to OP.

you advice is biased.

As do many posters on these sorts of threads. There are plenty on this one too.

What’s biased about recommending to settle amicably? Surely people can work out for themselves that the more that is spent on legal fees and courts the less there will left at the end to share out?

In this case the OP has been offered £150K made up from savings and 80% equity from the family home. However, OP still has not stated how much the 80% equity comes to in £s. So not possible to comment whether or not going to court for a higher % is worth the risk.

One poster has indicated £25K to go through the courts. That’s a big chunk out of £150K and no certainty that courts will award more than what has been offered.

Now that OP has a job she may be able eligible for a mortgage to add to the £150K? However, some lenders might quibble that OP has not been with her employer for more than a year?

Good luck OP.

Thanks everyone for all your advice and good luck messages

In answer to your question MTBA regarding equity from the house, I’m getting 120k which is 80% the other 30k is half of savings.

If you want to buy, you need to work. If your dc has a mild disability i suspect at 16 their benefits will stop - you need a higher threshold as an adult to qualify for benefits. Shared equity is a possibility though.

To OP

Okay. So 100% equity would be 150K which is 30K more than currently being offered. If you go down the Court route you could easily incur that amount in Legal Fees. One poster estimated 25K for the courts to be involved. In my case it was 35K. So even if Courts agreed that you should receive 100% of equity the Court costs will swallow most, if not all, of the extra equity. If Courts order less than the 100% equity you may well be worse off.

Good luck with new Job and hopefully you can get a mortgage.

I am having to wait 7.5 months between hearings . Not ideal and that could even be delayed . Also 3 cases being heard in a day or more .

Has anyone self represented at final hearing ?

It’s such a stressful time and trying to settle is proving fruitless .

I am having to wait 7.5 months between hearings

Wow. Sounds as though Courts are even more overloaded than before. In 2016 my FDA to FDR was 3.5 months and FDR to Final was 4.5 months.

It’s such a stressful time and trying to settle is proving fruitless

Been there. My ex dragged it out in hope they would get a better deal. For some reason they could never work out that they more that was spent on legal the less there would be left at the end for anyone?